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Old 03-06-2005, 01:38 PM   #1
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reijo HB User
Children being in the delivery room.....

I have one other question.........my 8 yr. old grandson is insisting on being in the delivery room with his Mom when his baby brother is born. He also wants to cut the cord. Has anyone had any experience with this? I believe that my DIL and my son feel that it may help with the "bonding" between the brothers. My son isn't excited about it, DIL is okay with it.

I can see it both ways. Obviously, we would be very careful as to WHERE he was in the delivery room (probably the head of the bed). However, my grandson is very tender hearted and don't know how he would react to his Mom being in pain. Guess they could just take it little by little to see how he responds.

Just not too sure and told her I would ask on this board and see if anyone has had the experience of having children with them in the delivery room. Her computer is down for now so she can't submit question herself.

 
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Old 03-06-2005, 02:21 PM   #2
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Re: Children being in the delivery room.....

I am currently 32wks pregnant with my second child. My son is 9y/o and in the beginning he wanted to be in the room. I talked to my md and she actually was against it. She stated that although it is very unlikely something will happen to make it an emergency delivery, it has happen while a 12y/o was in the room and it traumatized him. Since then her practice is very against anyone under the age of 14 being in the room. I also checked with my hospital and they do not allow children to be in the room unless the md ok's it. I asked my son if he was sure about wanting to be in the delivery room. He said yes. So I got him actual births on video from the hospital (the ones they show to the children for the delivery room class). These were graffic enough for him and he no longer wants to be in the room. I also watch a TON of A Baby Story(TLC) and Birth Day(Discovery Health) and even that was enough for him. He has settled with being in the room until the actual delivery begins (pushing, etc.)

The best suggestion I can give you is to have the mother and father both talk to the ob. Make sure it is ok with him/her first. Then check the policies of the hospital. Next check with the hospital to see if they offer classes. The child might be ok with it now but when the labor begins he might realizes that mom is in pain (though a "good" pain) he might start to panick and worry about her. If in the end he ends up being in the room make it a priority to make sure there is an extra person in the room to take him out if he becomes overwelmed or an emergency situation arises.

Personally, my son was raised in a modest household and he didn't comprehend what a delivery involved. He is very mature for his age but I believe that 9y/o is to young unless they have been exposed to this sort of experience before hand.
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Old 03-06-2005, 02:37 PM   #3
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Re: Children being in the delivery room.....

Thanks for the info. I agree with you but had not even thought of checking with the hospital. That would be a good place to start and it would allow them to say "No, because the hospital will not allow it." I suggested that allowing him to be in the room as long as her labor wasn't bad would be a good route to take. He would be excused when the pusing started and during any exam.

I will give this info to both DIL and son so that they can decide what to tell him. Checking with the midwife is a good course also.

I appreciate your input. It's so much easier when you hear from people who have either considered it or been thru it themselves.

 
Old 03-06-2005, 03:34 PM   #4
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Re: Children being in the delivery room.....

With my youngest DD's labor, my oldest DD came in during the beginning stages of labor. She was only 3 at the time, but LOVED coming in and acting like a nurse. She came in with her little "doctor" kit and would put the stethoscope on my belly pretending to check the heartbeat and such. (Of course she didn't understand what or where the thermometer was supposed to go!) I have pics of her doing that, and I wouldn't have it any other way with this pregnancy/delivery. I think the only time I would want my kids in the delivery room the whole time is if I was trying to teach them a lesson on NOT TO HAVE SEX as a teenager! "LOOK AT THE PAIN I AM IN!!!! SEX DOES THIS!!! UGH!!!" So, my suggestion is to allow your grandchild in at the BEGINNING IF the hospital and doc ok it.
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Old 03-06-2005, 05:54 PM   #5
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Re: Children being in the delivery room.....

Okay..... this is a tough one for me too. I have toyed with the idea of having my son there when his sister is born. I mean, he has never seen one in person before, but we watch both discovery health and I have gotten videos from the hosptial to watch. It has been a while (he is 7) so I have been trying to prepare myself. He has said he wants to be there to see his sister born. I was almost gonna say okay. Then, I thought about how sensitive he is, and I think to see me in that pain, and the things going on would scare him waaaay too much. I would never have him 'down there' because I think that he really doesnt need to see my stuff.....I am being induced this week, but at 8pm, so when I am doing my thing, he will be sleeping over at a relatives house anyway. He can see his sister later.

I think it is personal preference, but it may scare the child more than you think. ????

 
Old 03-06-2005, 06:58 PM   #6
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Re: Children being in the delivery room.....

I think its a great idea. My oldest was 6.5 when the next was born and 7.5 with the third and now almost 9 hes been in there every time. It was a great experience for him. He is plannning on cutting the cord this time around. I am so excited I cant wait 6to share it with him. Its not bothered him in any way. maybe get him use to it by letting him watch the channel TLC Babies special delivery in the evenings its very grafic and will let him see how it will really happen.

 
Old 03-07-2005, 08:46 AM   #7
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Re: Children being in the delivery room.....

I think it really all depends on the child, assuming, of course, that the OB and hospital will allow it. He should be prepared ahead of time by watching videos or other realistic experiences, including c-sections, not that he will be there for an emergency c-section, but so that he won't be traumatized if they all of a sudden whisk mommy out of the room because she has to have surgery. He should also have someone other than mom and dad in the delivery room to answer his questions and take him out of there if it gets to be too much or he changes his mind or if he is just plain bored because it's taking too long.

I have a 10-year-old daughter and she asked to be in the room. She watches Birth Day and other medical shows (which gross me out, and I'm going to be going through it...LOL) and wants to be a doctor when she grows up, so she is very into medical procedures, etc. I know she could handle it from a medical perspective, but from a kid perspective, she's still a 10-year-old, MY 10-year-old, and doesn't need to see me "down there" or in that way when I have no patience and am really crabby because I'm in pain. She will see me in enough pain post-pardum. This is also DH's first baby and we want just a minute to ourselves to share the moment as a couple. Yes, we are a family, but we are also a couple. We have promised my daughter that she will be the first, besides mom and dad, to hold the baby. She is content with having priority above everyone else. She is looking forward to hanging out with both of her grandmas and her aunts in the waiting room, which I think will be more fun for her anyway, particularly if labor doesn't go quick. If, for some reason, she is not there right when the baby is born, whomever is holding the baby when my daughter arrives, it is understood that they have to give the baby up to her for a while. That makes her feel important too. It is our intention to include her in this family experience, but in a way that DH and I are both comfortable with. This way works best for us.

 
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