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Old 03-08-2005, 09:49 AM   #1
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sumi HB User
Angry Upset about weight comment

Ok so most of you know my history about my ED so I won't go over it again. Well since getting pregnant I have gained about 5-6lbs which I needed cause I was underweight before. Well, this morning I was in my bosses office and we were joking about something and I said "oh, well you wouldn't know that cause you are old" and he turns around and says "well I may be old but your getting fat!" I was so hurt, I'm just so upset at such a comment, I didn't even know how to react and just said "well, I'm pregnant you know". Isn't that rude? I called my DH up and told him and he started laughing and said I'm overreacting.
What do you girls think? I'm so mad right now.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 09:58 AM   #2
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besafe20 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

That would make me cry if I were pregnant. Those pregnancy hormones made me sensitive to comments like that.

 
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Old 03-08-2005, 10:03 AM   #3
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jaybird75 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

I know just how you feel - see my earlier thread about my husband being an a$$. He actually told me I had cottage-cheese thighs because I ate too much. !!! Could have killed him. (as it was, i sobbed for a good 20 min.)

But also consider in your particular situation, you did make the first joke about your boss's age, which he might have inwardly taken offense to - but if not, he probably was just being a typical guy and not knowing when to keep his mouth shut. I wouldn't worry too much about it, if you can. Because obviously, you are NOT fat. Kirstie Alley is fat. Camron Manheim is fat. Your little 5-6 lbs? Pooh. Nothing. In fact, he probably said it not thinking at all about how you actually look, but just looking for something to say in response to your age joke. Age & weight are the two biggies - it's not like he was going to joke about your ethnicity or something, because that really would have been inappropriate...anyway, like i said, try not to get too crazy about it. You're not fat and he's a butthead.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 10:47 AM   #4
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cdenk HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

The comment about your boss being old was rude too, even if meant to be funny, like your boss probably meant the comment about your weight to be funny. I thinnk you misunderstood.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 11:09 AM   #5
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yamamama HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

Both comments shouldnt have been made. My guess is your boss was surprised and just said something to make him feel better. I'm sure he doesnt actually think you are fat,as I'm sure you dont really think he is old. The comment hurts no matter what though. My in laws have a way of ALWAYS commenting on my weight or size. It goes from being to thin to being HUGE. Gimmee a break!!! Who cares right? I over heard my Husbands neice(who is only a few years younger then me) comment about how huge I was and "how far along did you say she was". Not that it matters,but I could fit myself inside her jeans 4 times,so the comment was coming from outerspace somewhere. People just use to seeing you a certain way and when you look different they think it is up to them to comment on it. It's rude,thats for sure!

 
Old 03-08-2005, 11:19 AM   #6
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tigger_girl76 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

I'm sure your boss didn't mean the comment to be malicious. He probably just thought he could answer your joking put-down with one of his own. Anyway, most men don't realize how self-conscious we can be about our bodies during pregnancy.

A few weeks ago I was in the break room at work about to eat my lunch when my female manager said to me, "Wow, don't you think you have too much to eat there?" I didn't have any more to eat than usual but because she knew I was pregnant she felt it was time to point out my future weight gain! Some people are just clueless and it's best to just ignore them.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 11:55 AM   #7
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Kirii HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

I've been through that before with my uncle and stupid strangers. My uncle said I was as big as a house during my last 2 weeks of pregnancy though it was because I wore a horrible sweater that well made me look huge. I wouldn't even step foot in the same house as him until after the baby was born I was so upset. He kept saying I was whiny and his wife never whined. Well I'm sure he enjoyed his breakfast after I ran to the toilet to throw up all mine with the door open. That'll teach him.

And I went to a buffet and well I didn't eat much cause of the morning sickness that I was cursed with during the WHOLE pregnancy and I was stupid enough to wear another SWEATER A stranger at the table by me and my friends asked if I was having twins. Some people don't have a brain. I kept giving my friends nasty looks cause they kept talking to the guy after he made that comment. And he was bigger than I was and he still made a comment. I only gained a whopping 23 pounds with my daughter it's not like I was big as a house sheesh!

 
Old 03-08-2005, 01:25 PM   #8
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yamamama HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

Oh,that reminds me when I was prego with my daughter. I was only 6 monthes along and a perfect stranger came up to me and asked if I was having twins I said "no" and her resonse was "well you just look like your ready to burst". Oh good,thank you for that uplifting comment!!! Thats encouraging when you feel crummy anyway and then the off the wall comments,UGHH!!! I wanna were a shirt or something that says "pregnant lady with major hormone inbalance...BACK OFF!!!" Dont know how that would go over though

 
Old 03-08-2005, 02:13 PM   #9
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tallgirl1982 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

I am nearly 12 weeks and i have put weight on my man comments and i know i have so i dont care really. I am having a baby after all!!
Dont let it get to you, u r ment to be getting bigger be proud!! if u were underweight then its a good thing u r getting bigger! i was underweight and looked horrible a year back.
Chill blokes r all usless anyway!

 
Old 03-08-2005, 02:22 PM   #10
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Frynd1 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

Hey, nothing against you, but I think that comment was fair game!

We all know that we're going to gain weight. Our bodies are being taken over by babies. Whatever the amount you've gained (whether it be 5 lbs or 60 lbs) you aren't going to look hot - you're going to look pregnant. Enjoy it though because you will only be pregnant with this baby once. It is hard for me to follow my own advice though. If the weight gain were the only downside to pregnancy, then having a baby would be cake. You've got to remember though that along with the weight gain comes strechmarks, swelling, ect. My worst enemy right now are my strechmarks because those are permanent. The weight isn't and neither are the fat jokes.

To be honest, I get called fat (in different words) all the time. Lets see...when I was three months pregnant, my boyfriend's mother said to me, "you're little face is getting chubby," then when I was four months, my professor said, "gained some weight there, didn't you?" Now, at 7.5 months, all I hear about is my weight. Even my own parents make fun of me. The other day I was drinking ginger ale out of the bottle and my dad looked at me and said, "big momma!" My sister added her two cents in too, even though she just had a baby 12 weeks ago. I made a comment about how I thought my boy was going to be big (his daddy is a college athlete) and my sister said, "that's because you're fat."

Honestly, most of the comments don't even get to me. I was at an average weight before getting pregnant and will be after my nine months are up. I've already gained 35 lbs, which is a little big for only 7.5 months, but I did some modeling before getting pregnant and am tired of watching every little thing I eat. Yes I care about what I look like and sure, the weight comments can be cruel, but we can either fold under it all or laugh at ourselves because the bottom line is, we're not going to lose the weight while pregnant.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 02:31 PM   #11
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jmcummins3 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

I think both comments were rude and both meant in a joking way. I'm sure you caught him off guard with your old comment. If he knows you're pregnant, he probably thought it was a safer comeback because the reason you are gaining weight is obvious. Either way, people are going to be rude and say things without thinking about how you might feel. For some reason when a woman gets pregnant, everyone else thinks her whole life and body are open for discussion. You can't take offense to other people's ignorance. In this situation, you opened the door for a rude comment by making one first. If he had just said it out of the blue, you could confront him and let him know you didn't appreciate it. Here, you have no leg to stand on. Don't let it get to you. It really doesn't matter what he thinks anyway.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 02:32 PM   #12
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tomatoes49 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

i get more peaved from the comments made about the size of my chest then wieght gain,
i mean you know your gonna gain weight and people dont mean to be rude its just sillyness .
seriously we know and they know its normal and natural when your pregnant
but i guess stating the obvious about how huge your boobs and *** get is just the only conversation starter some people can think of

 
Old 03-08-2005, 04:02 PM   #13
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sumi HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

Thanks for the responses. Thing is in my defense he is only ten years older than me. So that makes him 37 or so, which is NOT OLD! That's the thing, if he was older then it would have been a rude joke but he is young and we always joke about it.
But I do see your points of view.

 
Old 03-08-2005, 05:37 PM   #14
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jmcummins3 HB User
Re: Upset about weight comment

I think you both meant it in the same way. You called him old when he is obviously not old, and he said you're getting fat when you're obviously gaining weight because you're pregnant, not fat. It's the hormones getting the best of you.

 
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