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Old 03-14-2005, 10:09 PM   #1
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SyGuy HB User
Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

I am a soon to be father and is overjoyed upon finding out the news. My wife is 2 month pregnant and eversince things has been extremely difficult and stressful. I am 24 years old and is near completion of school. My wife is experiencing extreme "Morning Sickness" and it's really having a toll on me. We can't cook in the house due to her heighten sensitivity to the smell and crave for things all the time but when I get it for her she changes her mind at the flip of a switch. Due to this she is becoming nutritionally deficient and constantly nauseated all the time. Another thing is she doesn't like me comforting her and she's always hitting me like smacking me in the face when I try to be helpful. Iam really at a lost her so I need every opinions from guys who has first hand experience with their partner similar to mine or even women who were in the same position before. She has two kids from previous marriage and now they becoming a full time duty for me and my wife has missed many days of work now and I fear that she may lose her job. I work fulltime and go to school fulltime and becoming an insomniac person. Iam a very understanding husband and helpful if she allows me to be but it seems as if I cant do anything right here. Can anyone help me with this? I tried researching on Morning Sickness and tried all types of alternatives to help alleviate her symptons but they have minimal effect on her.
Please help! Im on the verge of a breakdown.

 
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Old 03-14-2005, 10:30 PM   #2
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kierrasmommy HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

Sorry this wonderful experience is being so rough on both of you. I'd tell her to ask her Dr about the morning sickness pill (Diclectin) I used it with both my pregnancies and it worked well, it is safe to take during pregnancy...it's a mixture of Vitamin B6 and an antihistamine which tends to help alleviate the nauteosness. As for the mood swings and flip floppy cravings, sorry, nothing much to suggest there, sometimes pregnancy is pretty tough on us and we don't realize how irrational we can be, all you can do is be there and ask your wife if there's anything she would like you to do for her...this first trimester is the worst it will get better in the second trimester...but the 3rd trimester is tough with all the weight and swelling and pain too so you are in it for the long haul...I always liked a foot rub no matter how sick or cranky I was. Goodluck.

 
Old 03-14-2005, 11:25 PM   #3
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youngmommy HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

the good news is though she is 2 months, so that means only one more month (give or take) the morning sickness. i have it pretty badly too this time around, although with my first son, i didn't have it hardly at all.

one thing that has really helped me ALOT with my nausea is not drinking any fluids with my meals. eating small snack-like meals more often through the day, and waiting about 10-20 minutes after i eat before drinking anything has really helped me.
when you are pregnant, it takes you alot longer to digest your food, so suggest that she eats foods that are easy to digest, cold foods are good too, because they don't smell as much as hot foods.
saltine crackers are always a life-saver too...

 
Old 03-15-2005, 06:12 AM   #4
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Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

mood swings and changes are very common in pregnancy. You are not the only one out ther experiencing all this lol, although you have a little more worse then some. I don't think I am that bad, I don't hit or anything, but I do tend to get mad at more then I used to etc....

I just read in another post that watermelon will help for the sickness and keep her hydrated as well. Make sure it is cold out of the fridge and with any luck it will help her also. Soon things should get better as the 2nd trimester approaches. good luck to you.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 09:44 AM   #5
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hreiter HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

I am currently 9 weeks pregnant and have been having horrible morning sickness... I don't have the luxery of calling off work... So I have figured some things that help me... I basically eat a medium size lunch and dinner, and snack throughout the day... I have found that when I have food in my system it has really helped the nausua feeling... When it is a really bad day and I can't keep anything down, I try to sip ginger ale, watermelon definately helps me (it is easy to keep down for me), sour candies (help for the time being), crackers, pretzels... My husband has been great through it all, he gets me ginger ale and crackers when he hears me getting sick in the bathroom, rubs my back to help relax me... From what everyone says symptoms usually get better at around 12 weeks, I sure hope so because I can't stand feeling horrible all the time... She needs to figure out what makes her feel better, like I said the one thing that has helped me the most has been the eating smaller meals most of the day... Also make sure she has a pre natal vitamin she takes to help with the nutrition her and the baby need...

 
Old 03-15-2005, 10:28 AM   #6
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Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

lol. I had my husband take a pot roast I was cooking over to my moms house because I couldn't stand the smell. Im sorry to hear about your frustrations. It is all normal. You poor husbands need a support group.
Take care,
Jen
P.S. I am 7 months and I still wont let him touch me!
__________________
married 6/26/04
DD born 5/25/05

Last edited by jenn.e; 03-15-2005 at 10:28 AM.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 11:04 AM   #7
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Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

Sorry about the rough time you seem to be having. Since your schedule is so intense PLEASE take a few moments for yourself. If your not well rested and in a good place it will be more difficult and tolling for you to support your wife. Morning sickness in normal... hitting someone in the face is not. An increase level of hormones is a factor but she should not be hitting you. I get snappy sometimes or pull away from my significant other...but I'd never hit him. It is a rough time for us.. feeling like crap consistently is REALLY tough. And communicating that your feeling like **** over and over is annoying. I'd let her tell you what she needs, you don't need to constantly try to help…because most things wont make us feel better. She absolutely does need to be taking a pre-natal vitamin as well as eating several small meals. It's hard because it's counter-intuitive. I feel natious will ever swallow…but *know* that it's actually helping me despite how it's making me feel at that moment. What has helped me the most is eating 3 small snacks a few hours before bed. This gets me through the night. The prenatal vitamin helps because when your nutrition level is up so is your energy and everything else. When you don't eat at all…your body begins to use it's own resources for the baby..which is why she is beginning to feel fatigued and exsausted..the baby is using all the nutrition in her body. This time will pass! Get some rest for yourself!

 
Old 03-15-2005, 05:35 PM   #8
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SyGuy HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

I would like to thank you all for giving advices. It's great to know that theres a wealth of support out there. The thing about my wife is she is very difficult. I have loaded on supplies such as ginger ale which is sipping on a daily basis. Crackers, rice cakes which she says she likes but she vomit it all back out . We have talked to her doctor about this and they prescribed her Zofran and multivamins. My wife is stubborn if its things that she don't like she wont take it which is really frustrating. She refused to take Prenatal pills because she says it tastes bad. So the doctor suggested she take kids vitamins. It seems she is so sensitive she rejects all food and that concerns me so much and our developing baby who I worry won't get enough nourishment. Its so frustrating because she wont even let me sit next to her. I have a laptop computer and I do all my school work on it and she wont allow me to have on in the room with her so I do it in the living room with her door close because she don't like the smell of anything from the kitchen. She gets mad at me because when she needs me and I can't hear her so she screams and yell at me. I check in every ten minutes to see if she needs anything. Her kids are very loud and sometimes it makes it even more difficult to hear to her when she calls for me. Just today I didn't mean to raise my voice because I couldn't hear her when I was doing the dishes. I tried to let her know that there was so much noises when the kids yelling and with the door close but she took offensively and started crying and pushed me away from her. I just don't know what to do anymore. I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I try to talk to her calmly and always ask if I can get anything or do anything for her. I just don't understand why she is so different. I hate to say this but Im begginning to regret things. I try so hard and see things as if I was in her spot, Im considerate of her request and take nothing offensively.

 
Old 03-15-2005, 05:48 PM   #9
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Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

if it is her being sick that is causing her to act like this, it will get better.
But there might be a under lying problem too. She may be scared having another baby and it's stressing her out and in turn she is taking it out on you.
I have been sick the whole time and I am 34 weeks, I go days some times where I can't keep anything down, But I don't think I ever let it get to me like that.
You need to get her to talk. because it sounds to me like there is more going on. If not to you then a friend or the doctor, or let her post here, we won't know who she is and maybe we can help with some of her worries.
Anyway I wish you luck and whatever you do...don't regret creating a life...and never give up on her. It will get better I am sure....Keep us posted.....

 
Old 03-15-2005, 07:52 PM   #10
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Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

If she has not been keeping anything down at all she may be dehydrated and need to go to the hospital and get fluids, once you get dehydrated you start throwing up more. The thing that helped me most was pineapple juice, one in the morning first thing, and another in the middle of the day. But not eating pineapple, odd huh? I had read that really acidic stuff could help calm the sickness and it did.
I admit that I was not always a pleasure to live with, and am still not, I do get irrational about things, but I think that is beign too bad, she may need to talk to a dr about it or something. It might be that she is scared of having another baby. I know that she feels bad, but it really isnt' fair of her to make you do everything single thing. Especially with your already packed schedule. I can definetly understand the cookign thing, my husbands loves onions and I cannot stand the smell of them right now, so he hasn't had any in or on anything in 26 weeks and won't for another 14! Btu other than that, if he wants to cook something, i just go in the other room and shut the door and put a towel under it and open the window.
It isnt' right for her to hit you, regardless of what is going on! I have wanted to hit my husband a few times, twice today actually, lol. But i never ever would!
Do take some time for yourself. And try to remeber that soon you will have a beautiful little baby to love! I hope things get better for you!

 
Old 03-16-2005, 02:31 AM   #11
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youngmommy HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

yeah, it sounds like the stress has already gotten the better of her, and it will soon get to you too, if something doesn't change. i would say you should go with her to her next doctor's visit, and mention to the doctor that you would like a referral for a counselor. of course, in order for both of you to go, she would have to agree... i saw a counselor for a short time in the first few months of my pregnancy, but it was for a different reason. i went because i was very young when i became pregnant for the first time, and i was very confused about what i should do. it really helped me alot, i'm very glad that i went.

 
Old 03-16-2005, 11:37 AM   #12
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kierrasmommy HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

I had one more thing to add...you said your wife didn't like the vitamins because of the taste...I had the same problem once, I used Materna...had no problems, then the second bottle I bought the generic version of Materna, which the pharmasist said was the same thing...but they tasted horrible...the taste would be in my throat for hours! So I bought Materna again and won't switch again ever....try asking the pharmasist if there's one that is coated so there is no taste, or if there's another one she could suggest...also ask if they have samples...sometimes Dr's and/or pharmasists have sample packettes that you can try before you buy the bottle....my last OB appoinmtent the nurse asked how my morning sickness was and was going to give me a sample pack of prenatal vitamins that you take twice a day instead of just once....the two pills have less iron in each individual pill but the 2 together/day total the same as a regular prenatal vitamin so she isn't missing out...it's just separated so it's easier on her tummy. Hope that helps.
P.S My morning sickness eased off at just past 14 weeks.

Last edited by kierrasmommy; 03-16-2005 at 11:38 AM.

 
Old 03-21-2005, 12:13 PM   #13
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zetajenn HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

Have you tried blackberries or blackberry juice for the nausea? I don't like blackberries, but I was able to find blackberry juice that was pretty good. I got it off the internet somewhere. But anyway, you might be able to find it at the grocery store. Or if you like blackberries just try getting her to eating some of them. Some people swear buy it. I know the juice really helped me.

 
Old 03-21-2005, 01:00 PM   #14
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zekat HB User
Re: Please Help! Soon To Be Dad!

I am sorry that your wife is feeling so terrible. However, I don't care how terrible she feels, it's never ok to slap someone in the face or yell at them constantly. While you do need to be *more* patient with her because of her pregnancy, you do not have to be her whipping post.

In my opinion, it sounds like anything you suggest will be shot down by your wife, so I would quit suggesting. Just be there for her. That is absolutley all you can do. Hopefully the morning sickness will start to subside over the next month. Many people state their morning sickness gets better in the second trimester. From much of the literature I've read, it's ok if she is not getting all of the nutrients in the first trimester as long as she gains weight and nutrition in the 2nd and 3rd trimester. Hopefully she will come around and start to feel better.

I think you need to just be there for her, but quit trying to solve her problems at this point as it doesn't sound like she wants any advise. I know that is difficult, but it will be best for both you and her in the long-run. Also, you really shouldn't have to jump up every 10 minutes to check on her. Even if she is sick, she still needs to get up and move around!

I hope I don't sound too harsh on your wife, but I just feel so bad for you when you sound like you are really picking up a lot of responsibility so early in the pregnancy. It would be different if it sounded like she were at least *trying* to make it easier on you or be helpful. I agree with the other poster that counseling might help, but again, it really doesn't sound like your wife wants much help right now. She sounds like she has the "I'm miserable and I've got it under control" attitude. Just be there... she'll let you know if she needs something

It'll get better. It's "only" nine months.

 
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