It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Pregnancy Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-16-2005, 05:48 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 948
2fst HB User
Need to vent

I need to vent. I have to get this out of my system. I feel so miserable. I have 3 more months to go and I have no idea how I am going to do it. For one, I have gained 30lbs already. This is all I planned on gaining. I am so uncomfortable from weighing this much. I have no idea how much more I am going to gain but I do not think I can handle much more. For two, I have a very short torso and so there is not much room in there for a baby. Due to this, I have been having so much trouble breathing. I feel like I can not get any oxygen. I also have a lot of heart problems before I got pg. I mentioned it to the dr and he was not concerned, saying that it happens when you are pg and I will get used to it. Well, every day it gets a little worse and some times it gets to the point where I feel light headed and very dizzy. For three, I am so bloated. My legs look like sausages, my fingers even have puffed up, my chest went up 2 cups sizes. Every night every joint in my legs aches from being bloated. Also my upper back is killing me from carrying all this extra weight around.
How much more am I going to gain? I feel like there is a huge baby in there already. I was so sick in the beginning and then for about 3 months I felt pretty good but now I feel horrible. I am so depressed. I just want it all over with. I never want to be this fat again. I need to get this all out. Sorry but I have no one I can talk to that understands how I feel. Maybe some one here will understand. My mom says I eat too much. Although I have cut back on my food intake as much as is okay for the baby. Add to all this my dr is not any help with anything. I told him I want a c-section due to the fact that I already have a lot of heart problems. He seems to respond to everything I tell him with a "we will discuss it later". Although we never talk about it. I think he is blowing me off. I want to have the c-section as soon as is possible and safe. He thinks I should wait and go natural. It is a little too late in the pregnancy to change dr's. I am just so down and out. I am hating everything. Sorry this is so long and negative maybe I am not cut out for this pregnancy thing.

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-16-2005, 07:13 PM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,130
hillaryb HB User
Re: Need to vent

You can change docs any time you want in your pregnancy--it has been done, and the people i know were glad they did. How is your blood pressure?? I know that can cause tons of swelling--does toxemia run in your family??? My mom had it and had alot of the problems you are having. Hopefully you blood pressure has remained in the normal levels-if that is the case, then you dont have to worry too much. I am very small boned and thin--I was 107 lbs with my first child, and I gained over 50 lbs with her!! If it helps, I lost it very quickly. I was really worried about this happening with my 2nd, but I gained half that much.

I just wanted to say that pregnancy can be total utter heck -I know, and luckily it is a temporary condition. Also, I will reiterate, you CAN switch doc if you feel yours isnt paying attention to your concerns--Ive seen women do this in the last couple of weeks. Not all docs are good, and not all docs listen. You will be trusting your baby's well being to this person as well-do you feel okay with that?? Anyway, just wanted to say, good luck and I myself have vented here with pregnancy woes. It really stinks, but you will feel better soon!

 
Old 03-16-2005, 07:23 PM   #3
Inactive
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Posts: 224
yamamama HB User
Re: Need to vent

I sure do know how you feel. I was just telling my Husband tonight that I was "DONE, DONE, DONE with being pregnant!!!" I feel miserable too. My torso is short and at 30 weeks I feel like the baby is cutting off my air supply(especially when I lay down). I have a headache now just about everyday,my back and neck is killing me,I have a nasty red rash on my stomach and thighs that itching like crazy,acid reflux that keeps me up all night(and a snoring Husband) and a wonderful,but very whining three year old that justs wants to get outside and have fun(but the weather is still way too cold). Anyway,sorry I needed to vent too!! :-) I understand how you feel,I think we all do at some point in our pregnancy.
With my daughter I didnt get to this point until about two weeks before I had her,now for me at 30 weeks to feel this way...I feel like such a bad person to be acting sooo intolerant.
It is late in your pregnancy to switch doctors,but if your unhappy with this one and he obviously does not listen to you...then maybe you should consider it. You want a c-section and he doesnt give you the time of day...I would demand to talk about it right then,at that appointment. And if he still blows you off,then maybe make the switch.
I hope everything gets better for you,know that you are not alone. Take care

 
Old 03-16-2005, 08:12 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 1,148
Frynd1 HB User
Re: Need to vent

I'm 31 weeks and can totally relate. I'm only 5'2 and am never comfortable. Just 10 minutes ago, I was laying my head on my boyfriend's lap as we watched tv and I started screaming out from the sharp pains in my ribs. Our babies don't have much room to grow in us and mine seems to favor my ribs. I've gained 26-30 lbs by now, which of course seems as if it's 60-70, since I don't have the body to pull pregnancy off. I don't want a c-section though. Doctor's question why I would rather go vaginally, since I'm allowed to go by c-section since I have health problems that could be harmful to the baby. I don't feel that they are natural though. I only want one if I have to.

 
Old 03-17-2005, 05:52 AM   #5
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,224
Gayle0000 HB User
Re: Need to vent

I read your post and want to let you know you are not alone. I'm only 14 weeks, and have gained 20 lbs already from my original weight. By the time I went to the first doctor visit, I had already gained 13 of that 20, so they are only thinking I gained 7.

I feel your pain. I'm fat too. I feel like my skin is stretched too much already just from fat on my legs. I've never weighed this much in my life. I have cellulite on the back of my legs. I've never had much cellulite ever. Be thankful you only have a month to go. I know that's not the right answer, but this is one of those situations we can't totally control anymore.

My mom says I eat too much too. I get very angry at my mom. I know she means well, but when she comments on my weight, it's like she's reminding me of the issue and rubbing it in. I know she's not meaning to do that, but it feels that way.

I know of several people who have gained 45+ pounds and are all back to normal weight. Just remember, if you care about your weight, it will probably be easier to stay focused to lose the weight later on.

I'm sure I have not helped you in any way...just letting you know you are not alone. I feel your pain with the weight issues.
Gayle

 
Old 03-17-2005, 06:58 AM   #6
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 1,130
hillaryb HB User
Re: Need to vent

wow, if my mom had critiqued my eating habits while I was pregnant, I would have gone off! Dont mess with hormonal pregnant females! She kept her mouth shut for the most part, thank god. That is saying alot because my mom is usually pretty good at speaking her mind. She did say to me "gee, I NEVER had morning sickness, you must get those defective genes from your dad's side of the family". With my pregnancies I always spent the first couple of months throwing up several times a day, and she totally couldnt relate. Thanks mom, I wil be sure to let dad know I appreciate his "defective" genes (she said this about my pms too). lol

 
Old 03-17-2005, 07:54 AM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Virginia, USA
Posts: 2,354
BarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB UserBarbaraH HB User
Re: Need to vent

Hi -

Your heart problems and swelling are issues that your doctor should be concerned with immediately. The kind of heart problem you have was not mentioned, but the swelling from retained fluids is putting extra strain on your heart. Call your doctor's office today, speak to a nurse, and tell the nurse about your swollen ankles,fingers and difficulty breathing. Tell her you need to be seen in the office this week because you're concerned about pre-eclampsia.

If you are not taken seriously, call another doctor's office (hope you can get some names from friends who liked their OBs) and tell your story.

Wishing you well - Barbara

 
Old 03-17-2005, 09:13 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Michigan
Posts: 737
andilyn HB User
Re: Need to vent

I do agree that calling the dr is a good idea, because of the swelling.

And even though it is late in your pregnancy, you should really think about switching drs. I know it would probably seem like a pain, but if you have health problems that your dr isn't addressing like he should, then for your own health and well being, and that of your baby, maybe you should see about switching. A lot of drs would be reluctant to see a new patient this late in pregnancy, however, if you explain your situation to them, I don't think it would be a problem. You have a very understandable reason for being uncomfortable with your current dr. And I know, it's easy for me to say cause I am not going through this. But I did have some issues in the beginning of my pregnancy, not with my dr, I love her, but with the lab people and the hospital where I am going to be delivering. Anyway, long story short, my mom and my DH both for several weeks told me that I needed to call my dr and tell her what happened and how uncomfortable I was about it. So I finally did, and had the best outcome! Just try and hang in there, and give switching drs some thought. Only you can decide what is best. Good luck and I am sure everything will turn out fine!

 
Old 03-17-2005, 09:37 AM   #9
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: WI, USA
Posts: 469
packerfan4ever HB User
Re: Need to vent

If at ANY time you are uncomfortable with your doc--SWITCH! It sounds to me like you have concerns about your heart issues, and he isn't listening! SWITCH!!!!
As far as your weight, I am 5'2, started out at 146 and now am at 201.5!!!!!!! (I am 33 weeks) I too am very stressed about this! I am a performer--not a stripper (HA), but singer and my looks are VERY important to me. I look in the mirror and freak. I have "kankles" now; no defined line between my ankle and foot! I dont' even want to go out in public. I NEVER would've thought I would get to 200+ pounds--BUT I have to look at it this way. I am pregnant; and there are SO MANY people that can't have children of their own. Sometimes I think I am being selfish by worrying so much about my weight. IT WILL COME OFF--I keep telling myself that. I think almost EVERY preggo woman can relate to the icky feelings. If ANYONE has given you grief about your weight, tell them to BUZZ off. Plus I figure I will show all the people that are secretly saying "WHOA...look at Alexis! She sure is a BIG MOMMA!" when this is all done. "You just had a baby a few months ago?!" That is what THEY WILL SAY to me afterwards!!!
I found this to be helpful--and wish I would've started it sooner--but I told my doc and nurse that I DON'T WANT TO KNOW MY WEIGHT during the weigh in. The only time I WANT TO KNOW--is if I am having problems from the weight gain.
Just hang in there! And we're all glad you chose to vent on here. We all need to once in awhile. Hubs and partners don't always understand. And men are sick to death of hearing how fat and ugly we are anyway--whether we're preggo or not! And what better place than on these pregnancy boards to come and b****?! We all can understand each other....YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!
__________________
Hasty horse who drinks too much water gets belly ache

 
Old 03-17-2005, 10:00 AM   #10
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 2
sorella HB User
Unhappy Re: Need to vent

I don't so much need to vent as need to cry... I fell over in the street today on the way to see my midwife. I got a nasty bang on my knee and grazed palms. I sobbed like a 5 year old to the midwife, but did get a hug and a cup of tea!

I'm so tried of being clumsy and tired! I'm getting bad acid reflux too so sleep patterns are all shot and we haven't even started the crying baby stage. I just don't feel like me anymore - I used to be able to cope with things!

 
Old 03-17-2005, 06:39 PM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 948
2fst HB User
Re: Need to vent

Thanks for the sympathy. It would take too long to respond to each one of you indiviually but thank you.
My mom picks on my weight gain b/c she never gained over 30 lbs. And the reason for that is she spent almost her whole pregnancy being sick. I have told she has no idea what it is like to be pg and hungry.
Also I think I am going to look into switching dr.'s. The thing is the dr I have is one that quite a few people I know have used and they all liked him. I think that our personalities do not mix. I know that he will do a good job when it comes to delivering the baby. But I need to feel like he really cares and listens to me. My DH thinks that he blows off my complaints b/c he deals with pg women all day long and knows that they panic over every little thing. So the dr is so calm and laid back b/c he thinks I am just panicing.

 
Old 03-17-2005, 06:44 PM   #12
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 948
2fst HB User
Re: Need to vent

I forgot to add to that. My blood pressure has been fine. The nurse at the dr office goes over that stuff with me and she explains everything. Also she is so nice she is one reason I do not want to change. Sometimes nurses in the dr office can be real b_t_hy.

 
Old 03-18-2005, 04:49 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Illinois
Posts: 1,224
Gayle0000 HB User
Re: Need to vent

LOL!!! I love my doctor, but HATE, HATE, HATE the nurse. She is so RUDE...she comes out with comments that are stupid.

I have several examples of here rudeness, and I'm only in my 15th week. My last checkup, she handed me the cup to pee in. I asked her if I had to pee every visit and she said yes. I asked her what they were checking for (I was just curious). Her answer to me, "Don't worry, we're not checking for drugs. The restroom is around the corner".

Ugh! I'm a professional. I'm well-educated. I'm 35 years old. I'm a Realtor & dress up nice everywhere I go (incuding the doc's office). I will tell you, I do NOT look like I might use drugs. One of these days I'm gonna go off on her. There's plenty of time left in my pregnancy for this to happen.
Gayle

 
Old 03-18-2005, 12:37 PM   #14
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Posts: 99
Maggpie HB User
Re: Need to vent

Well, I'm in the same boat along with you except I have no complaints about my DR's yet. I go to a clinic where they share the practice and I might not see the same DR every time. There is both good and bad to this, but so far I'm getting more than one opinion and it's all making sense to me.

I am in the 25th week and have gained over 30 lbs. I'm 5'2" and also have a short torso. My breathing is getting labored as well and there really isn't much room left for eating so I'm eating a little bit ALL THE TIME. People don't realize we can't eat a whole meal anymore and have to eat more often.

Don't let anyone get on your nerves for eating too much!! It will all come off after and you will feel wonderful again. I try to think of it this way - I'm going through all this for my Little One and there is no better sacrifice than one for your child.

I get drastic heartburn and can't sleep laying down so I sit up to try to sleep. My upper back bothers me so I've been going to a chiropractor and it's helping allot. I also when for a prenatal massage - it was wonderful to be able to lye on my stomach again!! My feet are little balloons, but I put them up at least an hour a day, drink more water (didn't think I could), and don't sit still for too long (half hour). This helps allot.
I wish you well and Hope you feel better. It's really hard, but we'll all get through this together.
Maggs

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
I need to vent about ASKING for pain control lisam1120 Arachnoiditis 11 02-10-2009 05:37 AM
Need to Vent- In a Panic abcd2me Infectious Diseases 3 11-25-2008 09:18 AM
I just need to vent... ErinS64 Lupus 9 12-29-2007 10:59 AM
Live-in boyfriend messing around..need advice perrito Relationship Health 32 04-22-2007 05:44 PM
Tired of hurting and need to vent Terri43 Back Problems 12 08-22-2005 08:36 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (6), cattieos (2), mumovhann (2), kittenkaboodle (2), Xkwizit (2), TwinMamma (2), quinyonna07 (2), Kali333 (2), hillarynotclinton (1), lovelyme (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1164), MSJayhawk (999), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (667), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:35 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!