My daughter in law who is only 18 just gave birth last Sunday at only 26 weeks. We knew she was carrying twin boys; the first one died within 20 minutes of birth and the second one is struggling to survive. He is only 12 inches long and weighs in at 1 pound and 13 ounces. Yesterday we laid to rest his brother, it was the saddest thing to see a casket the size of a shoe box. Already little Brian has had to have a blood transfusion and deal with immature lung difficulties. I am scared to death this little guy is not going to make it. I know he is in a good place, Rileys Children Hospital in Indianapolis but I am still scared. I think the only thing that got my son and daughter in law through the loss of the first twin was the fact that they still have Brian. I don't know what, if anything I am doing here or asking......I'm just worried and wondered if any of you have dealt with this and have positive stories you could tell me? Brian is 8 days old and hasn't gained an ounce, well he did but then lost it.
I am so sorry. I've never experienced the lost of a child nor have I been in this situation. All I can lend you is my prayers. God can do amazing things when we look to him and he can help pull you through this lost. Saying prayers for you and your family and especially baby Brian.
Proud momma to
Jade E.D.D. 6/7/05
Our younger son was born at 26 weeks (birthweight 2lb 3 1/2oz, lost to 1lb 10oz) and he is now in college and about to have his 21st birthday. When in labor with him, I was given 2 shots (24 hours apart) of a steroid called Beta Methazone which matured his little lungs and he was never on a respirator. He does have a mild form of Cerebral Palsy that affects his balance and his startle reflex. He's been in physical therapy a couple of times a week most of the time since he was 18 months old. He could not walk alone until a year after he had a surgery called a "Selective Dorsal Rhizotomy" at age 5 - and a lot more physical therapy. He also had a tendon lengthening surgery at age 15 to accomodate his growth.
Robby is a delight, speaks German, builds computers, has an amazing memory and a great sense of humor.
I tell you this to hold up a candle of hope for your family about Brian's future. I'll keep Brian and his loving family in my prayers. Wishing you well ....
I am so sorry for what you and your family are going through, I will keep you all in my prayers, especially that precious little baby.
A lady that I worked with sister, also had almost the exact same thing happen, she was even at the same hospital, I think. She had her twins really really early, and one died, shortly after birth, the other was in horrible shape and they didnt' think he would make it all. He was very very small, not quite as small as Brian, I think she was at 28 weeks when they came. He had to stay in the hospital for months, and then when he finally got to go home, he had to take an oxygen tank and wasn't allowed to be in contact with other people. Iknwo that sounds bad, but the good news is, he is almost four, I think, and doing great! he is behind developmetnally, but catching up, he learned to walk a year ago, and is finally starting to put some sentences together and say words that others can understand (besides his parents) he does have bad eyesight, he has really thick glasses, I have seen a pic though, it's cute. But he has a good outlook for the future, it was just a tough road.
I hope for the best for your family.
You know I don't think the kids know or completely understand what kind of problems Brian can have from this early birth. I pray that his brain is not damaged. Yesterday he had a good day, no problems or anything. Its a two hour drive to Riley from here, we want to go down and see him today after hubby gets off work or tomorrow.
I am sorry , thats all I know to say. I lost a baby, he was 10 months old at the time, it is something that will always stay with you.
But with things the way they are today, Brian has a great chance, I was worried about preterm labor with my last one and went to different web sites to read up on it and there are alot of heart warming stories out there, and alot of miracles. I will keep Brian in my prayers.
Please keep us updated........
I forgot to tell you the my preemie was in the NICU for 10 weeks and at home with no visitors (except grandparents) for 3 months until he was over 10 lbs and could have his immunization shots. Glad to hear that little Brian had a good day!!
I wished I could say yes, he has gained nothing and the night before last went into convulsions from a brain bleed on the right side. It was graded at 3. on a scale of 1-4 and 4 being the worst. He may have sustained brain damage, which we won't know for a while if he survives.
Sunday was the funeral of his brother. It was so sad, my stepson carried his own sons little tiny casket the size of a shoe box to his grave, my husband about lost it seeing that in itself. We are just devastated at the constant bad news. Last was that he had an infection and he was on the fourth kind of antibiotics and it wasn't working. Why does he have to suffer? Why can't God either take him home or heal him?
Thank you for your concern Barb. My husband and I own a campground and Sunday while we was at the funeral they all chipped in and bought a flowering crab tree as a memorial for our lost grandson. Darn if I didn't 'bout lose it when I heard that, I was so touched by their kindness.
Kat, when things like this happen, it is hard to find the right words to say. I am sorry for your family's loss and I will pray for Brian, his parents, and your family as you work together to get through this time. It isn't easy to lose a child - I have lost one. It is a pain that will last but will ease over time. I do pray that Brian will be that miracle that his mommy needs right now. I don't like to hear people give their war stories to you now. All you need at this time is HOPE, LOVE, and PRAYERS. If Brian does have brain damage, you can and will deal with that later. I only hope that you can pray and concentrate on the well being of that sweet baby. Please keep us updated as we all do care about the progress of young Brian.
Sorry to hear about little Brian's seizure. Hope that was a one time event and that he's improving and getting stronger daily. It is so amazing that these tiny folks show such strength. I hope each day is better.
It was so sweet of the residents in your camp grounds to plant a tree in memory of your little grandson. You are blessed to be surrounded with such caring friends.
Sending hugs. Prayers continue. Keep in touch, please.
I agree, thats what I told a friend of mine yesterday. We bought this campground nearly two years ago and there couldn't be a better bunch of people out here.
I found that I was spelling the little guys name wrong, its Bryon instead of Brian. I can't keep up with the new names these days.
When we saw him the other day he still had not gained any weight, tomorrow he will be two weeks old, it seems like he would have gained an ounce by now. They took the umbilical IV out and put three others in, one in each foot and one in his arm. He has a feeding tube to his stomach but they stopped trying mothers milk because his stomach wasn't ready for it yet, he also has a tube of course to his lungs. They changed ventilators because his lungs were getting "sticky", meaning they were trying to collapse. The new ventilator has a bigger tube and instead of the regular type breathing it gives him 420 tiny puffs per minute, it is so fast it vibrates his whole body, I nearly fainted when I saw him. But it is helping him, thats what matters. His oxygen level is staying above 86 and his heart rate is staying near 160 and his lungs are better. Next week they are going to run another brain scan to see if it is improving. They ran the base scan after the episode and one two days later that showed no worsening, nor improvement. Now the next one will hopefully show improvement. I wished he'd start gaining, I'd feel so much better.
Whats sad is that his daddy has to return to work next week and his mama has to return to school. The hospital social worker encouraged them to get back to their normal things like work and school, there is nothing they can do there and they need to get things done to get ready for Bryon when he comes home. But only seeing him on the weekends will be hard for them. I do agree with the social worker though, it will be for the best.
Ya know I met another woman on the death and dying board that has a teenage son who has cancer and most likely won't pull through. I feel so bad for her and kind of feel guilty that I am so wrapped up in our own problems that I haven't stopped over there.
I'd just like to thank you all for your comments and good wishes and prayers. I'll be sure to let you know when I hear if Bryon is starting to gain weight and improve.
we all wish you the best of luck,dont feel guilty about anything ,it hurts to see people in the world go through so much pain and upset but the closer to home the more it hurts its the same for all of us,you are obviously an incredibly strong person and family and we wish and pray and cross our fingers and touch wood and anything else we can do that things get better soon.take care.hugs anitax
I certainly have met many more people that have went through hell since I've been hooked up to the Internet. Its sad to see others suffer so much. I makes me wonder about this life.
Thanks for your kind words