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Old 06-24-2005, 08:49 AM   #1
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Valerie_s HB User
Depression

Well this is going to sound selfish because everyone here is so excited about, having a baby and I too am pregnant with baby number 3, I was SOOOO excited when I found out we wanted number three, we were not trying but if it happended it happened, and indeed it did! but for the last week I have been feeling like I regret it! I dont want to feel this way but i do! does this go away? I remember feeling a little like this when I was pregnant with number two and I felt better when I gave birth, but I feel like life may have been easier had I left it all alone, I am a christian and I know that kids are a blessing, so whats my problem? I was happy and now Im not ...will this change, I am so nauseaus I wasnt with the other two....help!

 
Old 06-24-2005, 12:51 PM   #2
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JenW67 HB User
Re: Depression

Hi Valerie,

You are not alone. From the second through the eighth month of pregnancy I really wrestled with feeling depressed about or at best, disconnected from the baby growing in me. I have a history of depression so it was not a completely new feeling but it was difficult because I was afraid that I would hate my child.

To help me through this, I tried to talk to anyone who would listen. I found that a lot of women feel that way and it is ok. Everyone said that it passed. Some said it even took a few months after the baby was born. I also talked a lot about it here on this board. You will find many reaffirming stories.

Remember that emotions are often influenced by the chemical changes in our bodies. Just as you don't gain weight the same way for each pregnancy or have the same size baby every time, you emotions will be different because hormones are only predictable in that they are unpredictable. It is a roller coaster.

Cry, yell, talk, pray. You are ok though and you can even mention it to your doctor. He/she will help you determine if you need someone outside of the normal friends/family network of support.

You will be ok.

Good luck,

Jen

 
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Old 06-24-2005, 01:22 PM   #3
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Gayle0000 HB User
Re: Depression

I went through some tough emotional stuff early on in my pregnancy (this is my first and most likely last). I think it took until about week 20 or so before I felt halfway accepting of pregnancy and having a baby. I was so physically sick that I had thoughts of how I could bring on a miscarriage so I didn't have to deal with it anymore. I was thankful my husband, family, and friends were excited because I certainly wasn't...and I needed positive people around me.

I had some tough m/s that lasted a long time & generally a really crappy pregnancy so far. I gather from reading this board over the past several months a common theme...people who have easier pregnancies seem to have better attitudes. I can honestly say that at 29 weeks, I'm getting better about accepting the weight gain & aches & inconveniences of pregnancy...but I want nothing more than to give birth so I can get this over with and get on with it!!!!

I've found the best help for me was to talk about it out loud. I found my friends who wanted to talk about pregnancy & babies, and were people who talked with ME about MY problems...not the types who will talk all day about THEIR pregnancies & not let you get a word in edgewise. That really helped me a lot.

Do not assume everyone on this board is that excited about having a baby! There are many people who make it very clear that they are excited and want nothing more than to experience every body pain, the drama, and all the not-so-pretty stuff that goes with pregnancy. There are those of us who cannot wait to get this over with...and then a mix of everything in between. Just keep posting your thoughts. Don't feel people won't relate to you.

Things will get better!
Gayle

 
Old 06-25-2005, 09:50 AM   #4
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Valerie_s HB User
Re: Depression

I am so glad to hear it, quite frankily I dont know why or how my emotions changed, I guess I am the type of person who never makes a decision and is 100% about it, that has to do with alot of trauma when I was young, I have worked on myself very hard foe the last three years and have made great strides, after the birth of my daughter I was extremely depressed and had severe panic attacks, this was not brought on by my pregnancy but circumstances that surrounded my home life at the time. I can honestly say that things are fnatastic aand my marriage is wonderful, that is one of the reasons we wanted to have another baby, because were finally at a point that we could handle it all, and know I feel like I cant....I had some spotting about a week ago and was devestated at the thought of losing the baby, then w week later I ad some more spotting and went to get my levels checked, all I kept thinking was I hope they dropped, I was kinda bummed to know thAt they more than trippled! I think the nurse was taken back because I was so calm and not extatic, I do have *moments* between nausea and knowing that I will look even fatter than I did prior to this baby, ( I am already overweight) where I feel ok, I do remeber feeling this way with my 2nd and bonded with her just fine, so there is light at the end of the tunnel I just wanted to feel extatic about the journey too. I too fear that I will not be happy when this baby comes, I wish I could shake this feeling and will definatley mention it to my doctor on Monday, thanks for the replies, ttyl

Val

 
Old 06-25-2005, 11:10 AM   #5
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Angela3 HB User
Re: Depression

Hi there, I had my third and final child on May 17 via section.. I had all my kids c-section, anyway i felt pretty depressed during the last 3 months of my preg... I understand what you are going through, im also a Chrsitian. Its a life changing thing to have babies, i was VERY emotional, but when my Isabella Julia was born i felt back to normal and more in control... Your body goes through SO MUCH during pregnancy, its normal to feel that way. How far along are you?

 
Old 06-25-2005, 12:56 PM   #6
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Valerie_s HB User
Re: Depression

Im only 71/2 weeks, so i really hope this does not go on for the whole 9 months

 
Old 06-25-2005, 12:59 PM   #7
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Angela3 HB User
Wink Re: Depression

Valerie, i felt depressed a little in the beginning too!! It just the initial shock of it all, dont worry you will be fine, you have a great journey to go through, when that baby's born you both will be fine!! I just feel it!

You can talk to me anytime, OK?

 
Old 06-25-2005, 01:03 PM   #8
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Valerie_s HB User
Re: Depression

Thanks, I am really glad that Im not alone, I just hae this impending fear that I will feel this was when the baby comes, I mean right now I dont even want to llok at babies or clothers or anything! When I fisrt found out it was totally different....I always pray about it so I am sure it will be fine but it is all a process and it will take time, I just want to feel better

 
Old 06-25-2005, 01:08 PM   #9
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Angela3 HB User
Re: Depression

You will, i tried to pretend i wasn't pregnant until i felt my baby move at 13 weeks...... Then things started to change for me..... I bonded with my child way before she was born, i never found out the sex with any of my kids and it was sooooo exciting after she was born, finding out what i had! I had three sections and with this last one, i watched them pull her out of my tummy, it was awesome, we have pics of her coming out of my tummy....

 
Old 06-25-2005, 01:11 PM   #10
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Valerie_s HB User
Re: Depression

lol I too am trying to pretend that I am not...god I wish you lived near me so I could talk to you about it often...lol I know that once I feel the baby it will be better, all i hae right now to know I am pregnant is morning sickness, I didnt have it at all with my other 2 so it is that more awful for me, feeling nauseaus makes me anxious...I sound nutty I know but like I mentioned b4 I have anxiety that I manage well now but I did go thouh alot to get to a point where it is managable

 
Old 06-25-2005, 01:14 PM   #11
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Angela3 HB User
Re: Depression

My anxiety felt as though i was having heart attacks, i once called an ambulance because i thought i was going to die! It was just a panic/aniexty attack...... Just pray lots and be comfortable, the moring sickness will pass.

 
Old 06-25-2005, 01:22 PM   #12
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Re: Depression

I totally called an ambulance too that was when my panic attack was at its peak..do you still have then once in a while? did you find pregnancy or post partum aggrivated it? these are some of my worries..where do you live? Im mean was city or State?

 
Old 06-25-2005, 04:18 PM   #13
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Angela3 HB User
Re: Depression

when i was preg i didn't have them, im thiking something to do with hormones.... im from Calgary Alberta, canada.

 
Old 06-25-2005, 08:17 PM   #14
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Re: Depression

I used to live in Vancouver, then moved to Ontario..I was born in Windsor and now I live in Michigan my husnad is american and had to move to the states...is this a Canadian site?

 
Old 06-25-2005, 08:21 PM   #15
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Natasha2316 HB User
Re: Depression

I just wanted to put in a response here too, I went through the same thing and sometimes I still feel the same way. When I found out I didn't know how to react, I was excited and terrified (1st timer) I didn't know what my mom would say or how excited my b/f would be. All my family has ended up being very excited and b/f is now DH but back to the point. After I found out and started trying to get it in my head that yes I am actually preg. I started panicking and I didn't want to be. I would get sick to my stomach if anyone even asked me about it. I didn't want to talk about it or think about it. I actually snapped at Dh for pointing at the hospital and saying thats where I would give birth. I am only 21 and I have been wanting to start a family for a while now but as soon as that reality hit me I was in so much shock at the changes going on. I am also already a bit overweight and the thought of having to gain so much more was really scary to me too. I haven't gained anything yet, maybe a couple lbs. Im almost 14 weeks. I also was afraid that my friends wouldn't want to come around anymore because I am at a different level than them now. I am still a little worried about that but I have friends with families already also that are more than happy to be around. I am more excited now because I got to see the baby in an ultrasound and that kinda gave me some light that everything was going to be ok. People at work and stuff love asking me about how im feeling this day and that and just in general. I am able to talk about it openly now and starting to get comfortable (used lightly) with the fact i am going to be gaining weight. I still can't talk about certain foods though lol.


Natasha


* Is this a canadian site? * Nope I am in Wisconsin

Last edited by Natasha2316; 06-25-2005 at 08:22 PM.

 
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