I just want to share with you my sadness. I have never got used to his profession, being away for 5-6 months with a few months break after. But I am especially sensitive about it now. I do not feel all the joy from the pregnancy, because he is the one I want to share with all the little every day things, and talking on the phone every couple a weeks for a short time is not enough. I do get all the love and care from my 11 y.o. son, who is like my friend, from my mom and occasionally from my in laws, but I want him so badly. I know he is doing all this for us, but I cannot keep myself calm, because I am not sure if could make it to come back home when the time comes.
I know how you feel. I just recently miscarried... My husband has a very demanding job, (elite job in military), that causes him to be gone a lot. He just came back on the 27th, but will be gone again on the 11th of July. It is very tough, but I think that it makes us stronger. (I know that I am a lot more independent due to his work schedule) I am sorry that you don't feel that you can enjoy your pregnancy because he is gone... Just know that he wants to be there with you as much as you want him there with you, and try to embrace the fact that your love for eachother has created a wonderful being inside of you. When my husband is gone, I try to write down everything that I want to tell him, or I get little recorders (like you would use in college) and I would talk to him how I would on the phone. (When he is gone, I can't ever talk to him on the phone and am not allowed to send letters) Then when he comes home, it isn't like he is totally out of the loop. He knows how you felt when you had horrible morning sickness, and is able to understand why you were cranky when your back hurt. Again, I am really sorry you are feeling the way that you are. I know that you have a great support system on this site, and it sounds like your family is doing its best too. I am here if you need anything. Just let me know. I wish you all the luck in the world. Take Care!
Last edited by Kathrynerudd; 07-01-2005 at 08:42 AM.
Thank you so much for your warm words. I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage. What can we do – women’s fate. I’ve also experienced missed abortion last year, my husband was not with me, and maybe that is why I am so tensed now. I wish God blesses you with another healthy and happy ending pregnancy. You do what ever needs to be done – examinations, precautions and take care of yourself. Thank you so much for sharing with me your thoughts.
Just a bit of support for you. My children are 5,4,4. My husband was an alcoholic or is and because of domestic violence from his drinking I told him to leave the house. Even though he was physically there while I was pg at times he really wasn't there. This is the ONLY time that child is going to be in your belly and you need to try and cherish every second you can. Even if the father was there YOU will be the most important person in that baby's life. Keep a journal everyday. It is a time when things are a bit surreal but try to keep it together. My husband moved out full time when my girls were five months old and my son was a year old or a bit over. We do what we can with what we are given. I was there during first step, and first teeth, first steps, first fall, first accidents. I am still raising them alone for the most part. Their dad comes and see's them but half the time he is sent back home because he's drunk. So just know that we understand wanting to share that special moment. It does suck when you can't but do not let the light shine during this time. It passes by so fast. I used to love getting in the bathtub being all wet with my big ol' belly showing and just embracing being a mother. I was amazed at what God can do. I know you want your husband included and if he could be there I hope he would. So you have to make the best with what you have. The real bonding comes when it's just you and that baby alone for the very first time....and you hold him in amazement. (sorry, I have you having a boy. lol) I wish you the best but you have strength like nobody's business girl. enjoy it please. Good luck and congrats.
Thank you for your support, Soulcatcher, I can see you have been going through a lot too. Reading your post, I feel like a spoiled girl. You must be a very strong woman, I admire your strength. I can quite understand you, I am alone with my son most of the time, but the only difference is - you triple your care, troubles, joys, problems and hope I will double mine. I wish you have enough strength and love to take care of your children.
Thank you again girls.