I'm interested to know if anyone has thoughts about this...
I know that during pregnancy you're supposed to avoid all stressors, but....I'm having one of those moments in life were things seem to be falling apart/piling on top of each other...my only living grandparents are terminally ill, my husband is about to be deployed, my cat is dying...among other things...I just don't know how to avoid the stress! I'm worried about what this is doing to the baby and how I can minimize the effect on him since I really can't do anything about all the stuff going on right now.
If it's any consolation my pregnant girlfriend and I are going through some very stressful and trying experiences. I think stress is a natural part of life and that in part i don't think it'll have any negative affects on the development of the child, if anything i hope to think it'll make the baby stronger. We try our best to avoid stress as much as possible, however like the problems you've described there's nothing that can be done to avoid it. My comfort would be in residing in the fact that there's nothing you can do to change those things and that whatever will be will be with those situations and try to focus on yourself and the baby. You're not alone if that bears any comfort
You should see my post about anxiety/depression while pregnant. i am going through something similar to you, except not as traumatic. My fiancee is out of state helping those who were affected by Hurricane Katrina. This is our first child and on top of that, I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for about 5 years. It will be hard and I have discovered that while pregnant, things and ppl bother me more than they did before I was pg. I noticed that you were a senior member so you probably know what a great board this is. I have found that I can talk (type) my heart out and someone is always there to listen (read) . It will get better, although it may not seem like it. Have you talked to your doctor about how these events are affecting you? Maybe he/she may have some helpful advice.
From one military wife to another, it seems that whenever it is deployment time EVERYTHING falls apart, I found that when dh would leave I had to priorotize the things in my life that I could handle, the other things I let them go tough or not I had to for my sanity, try to make a list of things you dont have to deal with and then make a list of goals you have while dh is away, just a tip that helped me out...Is he going to the sandbox? dh is home right now, they are talking next year they just came home not too long ago...Gotta love military life... Ugh
I was prior military myself and my husband is still in the military and it is stressful with upcoming deployments. We all know they are dangerous and the time before the military member leaves is stressful because up the anticipation. I think that cannot be avoided, however, just try to enjoy one another before he leaves and he will also feel much better knowing you are strong and that you are going to be okay while he is gone. His job is extremely dangerous and his living conditions are much worse than yours and just try to be there for him as much as possible. By paying attention to him, it may help relieve some of the stress. I am also sorry to hear about your cat, I can't imagine what that is like to have a sick pet. Can you get a new kitty too? Just try to put everything in perspective and realize that most of your stressors are out of your control. Take care of yourself!
My husband is flying out to a carrier in a couple of days and I worry about the landing and the takeoff from the ship...
Geez, we could make this a military wife thread almost. Yeah, he's going to the sandbox. Again. This is getting really, really old. Sometimes I feel a lot of this stuff would be easier to handle if I was anywhere near my family/support network back home. Because of the time difference, nobody's ever home or awake when I need someone to talk to.
Thanks for the advice about making a list of stuff that can wait. Thats a great idea. One crisis at a time, right? I'm going to stop reading stuff on the internet too--I didn't need to know all the things that stress can do to a baby--it just gives me another thing to stress about.
I guess I have another question though (if anyone knows about this)...what is the story on taking hot baths and showers? I know hot tubs are bad, but what about a hot shower?--it's one of those things that calms me down a lot. Is this just one of those first trimester precautions?
Amanda - one thing about making lists... once you write them down you can add to them and know that you don't have to keep worrying in order to remember to do it at a later date! You can forget about it and check the list when needed!
Also, one more piece of advice: Check your blood pressure on a regular basis at the grocery store or pharmacy when ever... and just jot it down. Stress causes me to have terribly high blood pressure when normally its very low. So when I check it if its high I know to breathe and try to relax more... it reminds me to "check" myself mentally and emotionally when the blood pressure is high. And I can bring it back down on my own... Sometimes we don't think we are stressing --- and we are and one way for me to know is checking my BP!
Also, I think HOT showers or baths are a no no.... but pretty warm ones are OK! from what I hear/read.
I have a military family (brother, cousins etc.) and understand only a little what you are going thru. My hubby is not military so I can't fully grasp your situation but I feel for all of you women/men out there that say "see you later" for any length of time to your spounses for our country! Bless ya all !
I think hot baths or showers are a precautionary thing. I still take them sometimes, like when I take a hot bath I get hot faster and usually my forehead begins to sweat and that when I get out, so the baths only lasts 5-7 minutes, but sometimes when I feel achy from exercise I take them to make my mucsles feel better. If you did decide to take a hot bath or shower, limit your time in there so you don't overheat yourself, I believe that is where the issue lies.