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Old 11-03-2005, 09:41 AM   #16
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Mommy-2-B, I am so glad that you've had a good experience with your doctor! I bet that is such a relief for you.

sickofit - I'm not from the UK, I'm from the States, but I would say that I have a more European mindset.

I feel fortunate that several women in my community have had midwives and homebirths for multiple children, and it was a great experience for all of them. I am more reserved about choosing or advocating hospital and doctor handled births because my experience has been negative, and I feel like the environment is not very condusive to relaxing, enjoyable births. I'm frustrated that it's standard and accepted as the norm in hollywood and on tv to have stressed out, painful, "oh my God this is going wrong" births, when in my experience and the experience of women around me, it doesn't have to be like this. I have a friend who's never had a kid and she's absolutely convinced that birth has to be excruciating, life-threatening, and drugged and passed out. I hate that.

I tend to be more of a naturalist anyway (if you couldn't tell ), and would rather eat and live in a way as to prevent any kind of illness or health problems, instead of waiting until something is wrong and being told my only option is to "manage" it for the rest of my life with chemical, synthetic drugs. My doctor, who is a friend in our community, insisted that my method of birth control (natural family planning) is "the old rhythm method" which anyone who uses natural family planning knows that it absolutely is not the same thing - guessing and hoping and counting... It's all completely logical, scientific observation.

Anyway, the fact that he insisted (more than once) that it was "actually the old rhythm method" and wouldn't really hear me out...I'm pretty much done with it, and don't want to bother trying to find a "good doctor" when I know a midwife is more experienced in real and natural, unmedicated pregnancies and labor from start to finish and is much more personal.

But that's just me

Last edited by jriegel; 11-03-2005 at 09:45 AM.

 
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Old 11-03-2005, 10:31 AM   #17
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

i am currently seeing an ob, and it is one of those clinics where there are like 7 ob/gn and you are not sure wich one of them will attend to your birth. I am soo scared that my plan of giving birth natural and without epi will be out the door if I won't progress quickly enough to not give them time to give me pitocin and all their stuff. I know I can do it without meds as with my son but I think they will really try to convince me that I need a epi or worst C section if I go over the due date . . . I'm thinking about staing home until the last minute or maby try the cator oil or I don't know what I will do but I desperatly want a natural birth.

 
Old 11-03-2005, 12:09 PM   #18
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

I read a great article about the function and purpose of the placenta "your most useful/valuable organ ever" they said, and how it allows communication between the baby and the mother. The author, an OB/GYN, said that the baby knows when it wants to come out and will come out when it's ready. Obviously, in high risk pregancies there may be justified reason to induce if the baby is a day or two overdue, but it seems like this way of thinking and acting is way too common.

angie, do you feel like you could find a new doctor who is dedicated to you and your pregnancy, a different office? Don't worry about offending the doctors you have right now - it's your pregnancy, your body, your baby, not theirs. You do what makes you feel most assured and relaxed and comfortable. That is VERY important for you and your baby and a healthy, safe, enjoyable (yes, enjoyable) pregnancy and labor. Or better yet (in my opinion ), do you think you could consider finding a midwife who is trained to go through pregnancy and labor like you are wanting and who makes a career out of helping women experience the kind of pregnancy and labor they want?

Just some things to take inventory of and ask yourself.

 
Old 11-03-2005, 12:26 PM   #19
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by angie22
i am currently seeing an ob, and it is one of those clinics where there are like 7 ob/gn and you are not sure wich one of them will attend to your birth. I am soo scared that my plan of giving birth natural and without epi will be out the door if I won't progress quickly enough to not give them time to give me pitocin and all their stuff. I know I can do it without meds as with my son but I think they will really try to convince me that I need a epi or worst C section if I go over the due date . . . I'm thinking about staing home until the last minute or maby try the cator oil or I don't know what I will do but I desperatly want a natural birth.
Angie, I think you should definitely tell your doctor(s) that that is what you want. Even if you have to tell each individual one at each visit and again at the hospital. Also if they suggest it at the hospital and you are a little preoccupied make sure that your husband/partner tells them no for you. With my first pregnancy I was two weeks late and in labor for about 12 hours and I had a natural vaginal delivery. I was not forced to take/do anything I wasn't comfortable with. Although they did try to get me to walk and I didn't want to. I think the only time they give you Pitocin is if you go over two weeks late to prevent complications. I would think that you could refuse it though.

 
Old 11-03-2005, 12:31 PM   #20
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by sickofit
Angie, I think you should definitely tell your doctor(s) that that is what you want. Even if you have to tell each individual one at each visit and again at the hospital. Also if they suggest it at the hospital and you are a little preoccupied make sure that your husband/partner tells them no for you. With my first pregnancy I was two weeks late and in labor for about 12 hours and I had a natural vaginal delivery. I was not forced to take/do anything I wasn't comfortable with. Although they did try to get me to walk and I didn't want to. I think the only time they give you Pitocin is if you go over two weeks late to prevent complications. I would think that you could refuse it though.

I'm so glad you were able to have a birth like you wanted! I wish it didn't have to be so involved and complicated for angie, but that she would have someone backing her decision and desire from the beginning to end

 
Old 11-03-2005, 02:10 PM   #21
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Thank you so much for all your advice ans support girls, I am already training my hubby to not let anyone "force " me to agree with epi and when the time comes to keep telling me that it will soon be over and all will be fine, because I know I can do it( I had a 29 hours labour with my son, but that was overseas where they have not heard about the epi and willing or not you go natural lol. I actually heard that in Alberta the midwifes are coverd by the healtcare - that would be awesome and I am definitly going to chec the midwifes and if they would accept me I would swich even now but I have to be carefull stil if they say it is too late to come to them now. . . then I have to stick to the ob/gn . If they can take me I would just call the other office and ask them to mail me my file or transfer to the midwifes.

 
Old 11-05-2005, 05:49 AM   #22
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

As someone who had the worst birth experience imagainable (briefly I was induced at 41 weeks with cervigel which after the second dose brought on awful contractions less than 1 minute apart but did not dilate my cervix at all, after 12 hours or more of this...although it lessened for awhile...I was put on a drip and after almost 12 hours of increasingly painful contractions I finally asked for an epidural and 6 hours later gave birth to a son who didn't breath much on his own and had an apgar of 5...he's fine by the way) I decided to use a midwife this time.
However I have absolutely no desire to give birth in my own home and like the idea of being in the hospital in case something goes wrong...that and I really don't want to do it here. I am also open to having an epidural again if I have to but I will not be induced. I would rather have a c-section than be given those drugs again.
Now after saying all that I will tell you that I had no repricussions from my epidural and was up and moving around very shortly after birth. I didn't feel groggy just exhausted after my super long labour.
There are no medals handed out for being a hero and not taking drugs for pain. If it is what feels right for you and you've researched ways to delay it as long as possible then do it and don't let someone talk you out or in to it. It is your body and your decision.
Good luck!!!

 
Old 11-07-2005, 08:49 AM   #23
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordyn
There are no medals handed out for being a hero and not taking drugs for pain. If it is what feels right for you and you've researched ways to delay it as long as possible then do it and don't let someone talk you out or in to it. It is your body and your decision.
Good luck!!!

I'm surprised you'd say something like this, and I think it's unfortunate you feel this way. I don't think any woman who chooses unmedicated birth is looking for a medal, or that women who choose medicated births are more realistic and less arrogant (that response sort of implies that women who choose unmedicated birth want a slap on the back and to be center stage).

You're absolutely right, it is each woman's decision, and every woman has her own experience she can speak from to help someone else be more informed of something she may not have considered before.

 
Old 11-07-2005, 02:18 PM   #24
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

[QUOTE=jriegel]I'm surprised you'd say something like this, and I think it's unfortunate you feel this way. I don't think any woman who chooses unmedicated birth is looking for a medal, or that women who choose medicated births are more realistic and less arrogant (that response sort of implies that women who choose unmedicated birth want a slap on the back and to be center stage).

I said this because I felt there seemed to be a lot of pressure on this thread for women to choose natural and that many seemed to imply it was the best way to go. And guess what...it's not always for everyone. If you were in labour for 37 hours under an induction you might agree with me, if not, if you've never had lengthy induction, you might not be able to understand what that is like.
I by no means meant that women you choose unmedicated births think they deserve a medal or a slap on the back. What I meant was that there is not extra bonus for chosing medication or not having medicatoi because the end result is the same...a beautiful baby...
The most important part of what I said was that everyone needs to make their own choices based on their own feelings and I believe you should keep your mind open to having medication in case you end up in prolonged labour that tires you so completely that you can not go on.
Keep in mind that we are all entitled to our opinions here too!!!

 
Old 11-07-2005, 03:13 PM   #25
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Jordyn I completely agree with you, and I apologize to anyone who thinks my opinion is "all natural or not at all". I do not feel that way at all. I do believe, however, that methods that are involved in medicated and doctor-assisted (not that midwives can't be doctors, though) births usually precipitate the need for episiotomies and epidurals. In my experience, there are many choices and steps that can be made, and a wealth of information from women who have experienced both natural and medicated births, that can provide a woman with information to make an informed decision (regardless of what that decision may be) as opposed to a decision made out of fear and inexperience. Just like you, I am simply trying to share my experience and help educate women on possibilities they may not have considered yet.

Ultimately, I feel like whatever makes a woman most comfortable and relaxed (something many women don't even know is possible during labor - for some it isn't but for many it actually is), and whatever will be most healthy and safe for mom and baby - outcomes that are all dependant on multiple factors both inside and outside of birthing options - is the best way to go. And it is different for every woman. I'm glad we have this resource to share our experiences and advice for people who are interested in knowing all the angles and aspects, and I'm glad that you are sharing yours to help "balance" out the information.

Last edited by jriegel; 11-07-2005 at 03:21 PM.

 
Old 11-08-2005, 10:39 AM   #26
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Glad we cleared the air...just keep in mind everyone that everytime you talk to someone that every birth experience is different. Mine was pretty awful and not typical at all. I think I must scare some pregnant women lol!!!
I went into it with the plan to absolutely not have an epidural but man...after 30+ hours of that I just couldn't deal with it anymore. This time I plan to avoid the induction that really was the root cause to all my problems....thus the need for a midwife. I plan to not do an epidural again unless I get too tired or just can't take it anymore because as soon as I have an epidural my care gets put into an OB and doesn't go back to the midwife until after delivery.
Good luck to all of you going the midwife route...I am really hoping it is the difference for me!!!

 
Old 11-08-2005, 07:50 PM   #27
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jordyn
Glad we cleared the air...just keep in mind everyone that everytime you talk to someone that every birth experience is different. Mine was pretty awful and not typical at all. I think I must scare some pregnant women lol!!!
I went into it with the plan to absolutely not have an epidural but man...after 30+ hours of that I just couldn't deal with it anymore. This time I plan to avoid the induction that really was the root cause to all my problems....thus the need for a midwife. I plan to not do an epidural again unless I get too tired or just can't take it anymore because as soon as I have an epidural my care gets put into an OB and doesn't go back to the midwife until after delivery.
Good luck to all of you going the midwife route...I am really hoping it is the difference for me!!!

I have to admit, your story did scare the hell out of me! But it's just like my mother. She's always saying how bad it was, etc. She actually told me she felt like she was dying. But then I asked her, if you felt like you were dying, why did you have 4 kids? No answer. LOL
I feel like this, if it was that bad and you're brave enough to get pg and do it again, it can't be THAT bad. Could it?? LOL

 
Old 11-09-2005, 07:19 AM   #28
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

EXACTLY my point!!! Although I did plan to have only 18 months between kids when I got pg with ds and he'll be 3 before this one is born!!!!
I think you always need to take what you are told with a grain of salt....some people tolerate pain better, some respond to drugs different, some are more prepared (I refused to even read about birth till about 38 weeks (dumb I know but I was so scared to think about it till then!!!).
Again why the midwife is a good choice...much better at preparing you and at using all methods needed before medical interventions.
Take care ladies!!!

 
Old 11-09-2005, 08:20 AM   #29
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

Jordyn, you should really consider reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth". It is very eye opening to a woman's ability to go through labor. I think, considering your last experience, it could really help you put to rest some fears you may have, regardless of what the possible outcome may be, or for anyone that would read it regardless of what method they choose, just to read about how a woman's body is designed to go through and handle labor helps relieve a lot of the fear that can make you tense and worried and make labor more uncomfortable and take longer. She writes a lot about how relaxation is the key. If you are tense, ALL your muscles will be tense (your cervix especially) and how it makes labor take that much longer, and what a difference it makes when several different mothers in labor voice a fear they have and once she deals with it, she relaxes and deliveres the baby within a matter of an hour or a couple hours. It really is an amazing book and makes you feel like you can do just about anything!

Last edited by jriegel; 11-09-2005 at 08:22 AM.

 
Old 11-09-2005, 11:25 AM   #30
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Re: Why do so many people choose to go to a midwife?

I'll see if my midwife has that one...no chance of our small town library having it and I am too broke to buy anything extra now!!!
I have a good book by a British author (i think) Sheila something that I didn't read much last time...I really didn't prepare myself at all and had no help from the OB to do so either. My eyes are sure wide open this time. I am positive it will be a better experience....how could it not be.
Thanks for the info!!!

 
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