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Old 08-10-2006, 02:21 PM   #1
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disapointed?

Has anyone ever been disapointed by the sex of their baby? I mean really really disapointed?

 
Old 08-10-2006, 03:15 PM   #2
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Re: disapointed?

My big sis was. She had her 1st and he was a boy, well when she got pg for 2 she had like 3 u/s tell her that she was having a girl.She went out and bought a TON of girl stuff for this baby. The day of her c/s he was a big boy. 10 1/2 pounds. He was the prettiest baby ever. I had to go out and get a coming home outfit. My sis was so depressed by this she was dressing him in pink shirts, sleepers, and the like.She didn't go as far as putting him in dresses, but I kinda took over his care.It really brought her down bad!!! This was 17 1/2 years ago. I hate to say it but the 2 never really bonded. Not sure if it was disappointment over sex, or just something else.
But I wouldn't recomend letting it get that far. Also u/s are a lot better these days so mistakes are not as common. But if you start to feel as bad as my sis did.please talk to someone. A little disappointment is normal.
Good luck

 
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Old 08-10-2006, 03:16 PM   #3
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Re: disapointed?

When I was pregnant with my first one, I really really wanted a girl and I am sorry to say that I was very disappointed when I found out it was a boy. Both my ultrasounds told me boy. I got use to the idea and had a name picked out and bought all blue outfits. He came out a girl.....

Jo

 
Old 08-10-2006, 04:16 PM   #4
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Re: disapointed?

My story is that I have three boys (all i ever wanted was a girl) and i'm now 19 weeks pregnant and i found out today that it's another boy. I can't keep going and have more babies.. this is like it for me. I feel really bad for feeling really bad but i can't help it.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 04:31 PM   #5
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Re: disapointed?

I think what you are feeling is so normal. I can not say I am in your same situation, but wanting a dd I think is every womens dream. I hope as your pg progress you will embrace your new little boy. Is one more totally out of the question? But with one more it could also be a boy. Good Luck I will be praying for you.
Jo,
what a surprise,hopefully a good one.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 08:34 PM   #6
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Talking Re: disapointed?

Sort of.........My husband and I only want one child. I have always wanted a girl and would feel devastated if it was a boy. I was nervous until I found out the sex and before them I refused to buy anything until I knew the sex. Luckily it was a baby girl for us and I am delighted. I know I would feel terrible if it was a boy, but we found out early so if it was a boy, then I would have gotton somewhat use to it by delivery time. I understand the feeling. Do people like to mention the fact that you have so many boys? I bet that may frusterate you? Take care!

 
Old 08-10-2006, 09:17 PM   #7
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Re: disapointed?

I have two boys. When I found out my second was a boy. I was slightly disappointed but then I got excited because my boys could be best buds. Especially since they're so close in age. I however have a strong gut feeling that whenever we decide we want to have a third that that one will be a girl. But That might be wishful thinking. But I think if that time to have a third comes and it's another boy I'll probably be disappointed. But I know I will love any children I have. So I think it's completely normal to feel really really disappointed especially when you dream about a little girl for so long. but I think once you see the little guy you won't want to trade him for any girl. I agree with what the previous poster said. When I was pregnant people found out I was having a second boy and it's like they would feel bad for me. It was frustrating. I was happy with my two boys

 
Old 08-10-2006, 10:38 PM   #8
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Re: disapointed?

My friend bawled her eyes out when she found out she was having a little boy. It didn't help that ALL of us had girls. After 3 weeks of depression, she got over it and he's now the apple of her eye.

I wanted a boy first, but painting that room pink was so dang fun (I didn't really do the painting myself -- a preggo no-no), that I got over it REALLY quickly.

 
Old 08-10-2006, 11:38 PM   #9
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Re: disapointed?

I was pretty disappointed when I found out we're having a boy, because I've always wanted a girl and wanted to have my girl first to make sure I got one, lol. It didn't help when two of my best friends that are also pregnant found out that they're having girls. It took me a few weeks to start coming around, and now, with only 5 weeks to go, I can't wait to meet my little man. I get a little frustrated when I go shopping for him, because it seems like the majority of baby items out there are geared towards girls (even the stuff that's supposed to be gender neutral seems more suited for girls to me), but I've found plenty of stuff that I'm thrilled with, and my husband is SO darn happy that his firstborn is a going to be a boy, so it was hard not to catch his excitement!

 
Old 08-11-2006, 03:08 AM   #10
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Re: disapointed?

My husband kept saying from the beginning that it was a boy. I kept telling him that he wasnt sure of it and not to get his hopes too high. We went for our u/s at 20 weeks and its a girl. I thought he was going to be so upset but I think when he saw me start to cry he was happy too. I still think that for a while he was very disappointed but he liked to hide it. Now he is ok with it and is thrilled that we are having a little girl. Now if she decides to come out a boy the only thing that we will have to get is clothes. Everything else is neutral colors. We are pretty sure its a girl though. Only 3 weeks left to really know for sure though. Im getting so excited with every contraction I have. Im hoping it comes sooner than 3 weeks. I just want to see her little face.

 
Old 08-11-2006, 05:21 AM   #11
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Re: disapointed?

I just went thru this. I desperately wanted a boy. I could only picture myself raising boys. When we went for the 20 week scan I told the tech not to tell me, but she could tell my husband and he could tell me out of the office. Because I knew that I would lose it if it was a girl. Well... it was a girl.

I cried for days. Seriously, DAYS. Then depression for about 2 - 3 months. I just couldn't force myself to get into having a girl. We had a name, bedding, etc. all picked out for a boy - I had nothing for a girl. I didn't want a girl.

Even when I had my shower, I wasn't happy at all. I hate pink. My family gets this, so they didn't get pink stuff, but others did. Then my mom had to go and get this frilly outfit. I lost it. I hate that stuff.

I felt so horrible about myself because I wasn't happy. Of course, I was happy that the baby was healthy and that I was pregnant with a child because I know lots of people that have a hard time getting pregnant. But it still didn't matter. My husband wasn't very supportive. All he could say was, "why are you crying? JUST because it's a girl". He could never understand it. Luckily my sister had the same thing happen with her second. She already had a girl and then she thought she was having a boy. It turned out a girl. She cried and I remember it affecting her a lot. So I had her to talk to about my feelings. She told me too that it took her a good 2 years to get a really close bond with the second girl, but now she wouldn't trade her for the world and they are extremely close. Now she just asks me "are you coming around about it being a girl" and I just say, "well, I can't trade her". And we laugh.

Now I can't say that I'm overjoyed that it's a girl, but I love her. We do have a name now and I bought the bedding (jungle theme) a couple of weeks ago. We are painting the room this week (it's half done).

I guess what makes me okay with it is that this is our first and I know we will have more, so I have another chance for my boy.

When it comes down to it, you are entitled to YOUR FEELINGS. I remember always telling my husband that just because I feel sad and disappointed, doesn't make it wrong. I was not wrong in how I felt. Don't ever let any one tell you that you are wrong in how you feel. I think that hurt the most when my dh made me feel like I was wrong for feeling sad about a girl. It made it harder to get over.

Plus, I look at how I turned out. I'm not a girly girl. I play soccer (yes still at 35), I ride my own motorcycle (well had one until my dh sold it because I was pg), I love racing, etc, etc. My little girl will be my soccer player. Lol.

I have 8 weeks to go and we are getting very excited. I'm excited for her to be here already. Even though she's fun to play with in my tummy. She's a fiesty little one. Even responds when I say her name and talk to her.

Anyway, if you take anything away from this post, remember that YOU ARE NOT WRONG IN HOW YOU FEEL.

trooper

P.S. I still secretly pray that the u/s was wrong and it's a boy, but we've had 2 u/s and I saw them both... it's a girl. But ya never know!!!

 
Old 08-11-2006, 05:51 AM   #12
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Re: disapointed?

Mvhrt - I think it's normal to feel a bit upset but it seems kind of foolish to be really disappointed. I have an 18 month old daughter and am expecting another girl next month. When my husband and I found out we were upset b/c we were convinced it was a boy. But I knew that I had to be grateful b/c there are couples out there who can not have children. It really shouldn't matter what the sex is as long as the child is healthy.

Good luck to you.

 
Old 08-11-2006, 06:32 AM   #13
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Re: disapointed?

i agree with the last poster. Being able to conceive and carry a child is a wonderful gift, whatever the sex. Not everyone is that lucky. Bearing this in mind i think it is rather selfish to be "disappointed"

 
Old 08-11-2006, 08:05 AM   #14
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Re: disapointed?

I agree with the previous posters that it's a blessing to carry a baby, but I disagree that there's anything wrong with being disappointed. If you carry that disappointment through to birth and beyond, and don't treat your child properly, that's one thing, but to be disappointed that the last child you plan to have will be another boy, meaning you will never have daughters, is natural. That's one good reason to get the ultrasound done early -- so you have time to get used to it before the baby is born. There's a special relationship between mother and daughter (I mean as adults) that cannot be replicated with a son or daughter in law -- not necessarily that every woman wants a daughter, but if one does want a daughter, that's understandable.

Personally, this is my first, and for a variety of reasons (mostly theoretical) I would have rathered it be a girl. Because of the timing, I had almost convinced myself it WOULD be a girl. Lo and behold, the ultrasound said boy. Now, I'm only 24, and I don't plan to artificially restrict my childbearing except as necessary for my health, and I had nothing against having boys, I just wanted the FIRST to be a girl, so the disappointment wasn't that hard to get over. But if I were 35 and this were my last? Or if I had hit 35 and all my children were girls? I would certainly be disappointed. It wouldn't interfere with my loving my children (I hope), but it's a real disappointment.

 
Old 08-11-2006, 08:42 AM   #15
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Re: disapointed?

Trooper- i completly understand the way your husband made you feel because i was made to feel guilty as well yesterday by my boyfriend because i was disapointed. Thank you for your post it was very supportive!

Fallen_angel and micheybell- If i were to just say oh well it's ok with me i'd be lying to myself. I think that I DO have the right to be just as disapointed as i am... call it selfish i really don't care... we are all selfish every last human being on earth so you can't pretend that you are perfect because no one is...I will love this boy the same way i have loved all of my children. I'm not an idiot I know it's not the baby's fault I would not take my resentment out on a baby. And to tell you the truth I really don't worry about couples who can't have children because I CAN no problem i'm extremly fertile so it's really not my problem. I think it's selfish to cast negative opinions on people because their beliefs don't match up with yours and a bit foolish to assume anything over a message board... at least enough to think you can judge character.

bxr- thank you for your support =)

 
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