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Old 08-12-2006, 10:06 AM   #1
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Location: Omaha NE USA
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kini23 HB User
Your Thoughts

Hi all! I am almost due for my 20 week ultrasound at the end of this month.
This pregnancy has been really hard on me because I have been sick the whole time. I have thrown up so many times in the last few months I feel like my stomach is just thrashed. My doc put me on zofran which helped a lot, but I am just now trying to take pre-natal vitamins and I feel awful that I did not take them from the start. I just could not take anything at all, not even food. I thought that I would be feeling much better as my pregnancy progresses, but I just feel the same. I have a two year old daughter who is a handful so I am not able to take care of myself like I did the first time around. Fortunately I only throw up maybe 3 or 4 times a week instead of every daylike I used to. Do any of you guys feel this way?

I guess I would also like to hear your thoughts on certain issues I am dealing with. Any input would help:

I have a two year old daughter who I feel like I am abandoning because I am having another child. It took me a long time to get to a place where I could bond with her and now I am having another one. I feel guilty and fearful about how I am going to care for her as well as I do after the next baby comes. I do not want to even be away from her when I deliver and stay at the hospital. I have been sleeping with her at night(I know that is not the greatest thing to do) But I cannot seem to get her to sleep any other way. Her father is a little irritated over this because I have not slept in the bed with him for quite some time now. But to be honest, I would rather sleep with her. Has anyone else felt this kind of guilt? Or am I just hormonal and irrational. I do not know.


I would like to hear any thoughts on depression and antidepressants during pregnancy. I have a history of major depression and have quit taking my ads against my therapists advice.


I am debating over wether I want pain meds at my labor and delivery. With my first, I had an epidural and it was great to not have to feel the pain the first time around. But with this pregnancy I want more control over my experience. I felt so powerless the first pregnancy listening to anyone and everyone who had advice and I was very fearful as well. I want to be able to push my baby out when my body tells me to, not when some mean old nurse tells me that I am having a contraction and to push for ten seconds. I also do not want to be flat on my back when I deliver. Does anyone else feel the same?




thanks!

 
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Old 08-13-2006, 05:45 AM   #2
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Panama City Beach, Florida
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xinerevelle HB User
Re: Your Thoughts

A couple of thoughts:

1. Go back to your therapist and get back on your anti-depressants. I can't imagine why you would stop them now, when this is such a stressful time for you. They are fairly safe to take during pregnancy.

2. Re: co-sleeping... go to the store and get some books about how to train your child to sleep by herself. You should not have to sleep with her each night in order for her to fall asleep. Ask your pediatrician about it, too.

3. Pay more attention to your marriage. A healthy marriage is more important to your kids than anything else. Hire a sitter and go out on a date with your hubby.

4. I haven't had a baby before, but I have had epidural steroid injections (and numbing meds) for my back. You will still be able to tell when to push and not. The nurse is just trying to help you, not ordering you around. If you don't like what she's saying, get your DH to tell her to be quiet or to get a different nurse. I don't want anyone "counting to 10" (it seems forced to me) when I'm in the labor room. DH has already been instructed to tell 'em to shush if they do that. If you don't want to be on your back when you deliver than you won't get an epidural. I'm pretty sure those two things go hand in hand. You're going to have to weigh the trade-offs of each.

5. If your pre-natal vitamins aren't staying down, go get some Flintstones chewables. At least you'll get SOMETHING in you. Most doctors recommend this, too.

Good luck!

 
Old 08-13-2006, 07:44 AM   #3
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Join Date: Jul 2004
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mrsb816 HB User
Re: Your Thoughts

I had morning sickness until around 4 1/2 months, well I guess a little less b/c my edd was just recently changed, then it gradually just went away. I was throwing up every day too and I know how miserable it is. I really feel for you. I hope it eases up soon. I never tried med but preggie pops were somewhat helpful, especially at the end when it wasn't as intense.

Hon, I have a psychology degree. You and I both know its not a good idea to go off your meds now. With all the hormones in your body you need them more now than ever. Talk to your dr and be sure the particular type you take are safe and then talk to your therapist about gradually going back on. It will be better for you.
I
s there any time of day when you feel a little better? That may be the best time to take your vitamin and its best to take it with a little food to keep it down. I found salty things were easier.

I have a 22 month old who is the apple of my eye. I worry that he will feel neglected. I have stayed home with him from the beginning and he is used to having my undivided attention so it will be difficult for him I'm sure. I don't want him to ever feel less loved. But I'm also sad that my little girl will never have the one on one time that I had with my son. I also worry that it will be easy to lose some of the bond with my son b/c as he gets more into cars and army guys or whatever and she like dolls and dress up it will be natural. I think its just a matter of finding balance. I know we both have more than enough love for two kids and I'm sure that it will be fine, especially since we are concerned and aware ahead of time.

As far as the cosleeping the risk of SIDS is very minimal now and its done in MANY cultures. My son does not sleep w/ us but did for a while. We moved and he had a lot of trouble adjusting. I would lay down with him until he fell asleep then get up (I had a guard on the side of the bed and a baby monitor in the room) then go spend time w/ dh. Actually, he still ends up in our room for a little while most mornings. We enjoy waking up together and watching a cartoon on Sat morning. I think it can be good bonding for the whole family but it is important not to neglect dh. Dh needs to be considered but you need to do what's right for you.

I agree with the previous poster that a date night is a good idea. Dh and I started doing that about a months and half ago since we will have so little time together after the baby comes; it has been wonderful for us. Its brought back some of that youthful excitement and we look forward to it all week. This is getting really long but I wanted to share my thoughts b/c I think we have a lot of the same concerns. Best of luck to you in the rest of your pregnancy.

 
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