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Old 11-14-2006, 03:19 AM   #1
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soo sad HB User
Unhappy Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

I dont think I can do this..I am 32 and 16 weeks into my pregnancy,I have anxiety disorder and stopped my meds at 6 weeks,My doc told me it was ok to stay on my xanax and paxil but If i didnt need it do not take it.
A few weeks back my anxiety started to resurface,awake at 5 am,shakes but would disappear by mid day.
Last week I had a number of things hit me,the worst being financially im about to take a big nosedive in income due to DP job.It seemed like the last straw for me,My anxiety is full blown,I sleep 3 hrs a day and am going to work full time,I have nothing bought for my daughter for x-mas yet,I ran out of heating fuel,and had to take money i had put away for that,My furnace is not working right so I have a repair man coming this morning to fix it..another bill.
Besides not sleeping,I am not eating,vomiting,walk around like I am in a daze,I am taking 3 xanax a day at .5mg which barely take the edge off.
I see my doc tomorrow,I dont think I can hold on til then,I need to be hospitalized I know that to get this under control as fast as i can.But If i stop work there will definately be no x-mas and I am worried that my DB cannot take the pressure.
This morning was the worst,I woke and even my jaws were shaking,I fight the urge not to just swallow a bottle of pills and lay down and go to sleep to stop the anxiety.
Does anyone know what meds they can give me?and what a safe dose is?anyone else have severe episodes while pregnant?Sorry for rambling on i am just desperate now.

 
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Old 11-14-2006, 04:50 AM   #2
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

Wow. I am really sorry you are going through this. I do not have anxiety, but my DH does, and I know your struggle. I know anxiety can be seen as a disability. If you had to take off of work, could you not get some sort of short term disability to pay the bills? And did your doctor say it would be harmful to take your meds while pregnant? I don't know much about it but I would think taking the meds would be safer than putting your body through the stress you have right now. I don't know that my words are helpful but just a thought. I really hope you start to feel better. I would definitely try to find out what is better, taking the med or feeling the way you do right now. I know how badly you must be feeling. My DH tried going off of his meds about five years ago (he too takes Xanax) He stopped for a year but basically could not leave the house. I really feel for your situation and hope you find some comfort. Take care of yourself and defintely talk to your doc.

 
Old 11-14-2006, 05:19 AM   #3
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

I am so sorry you are going through all this. I don't know which meds are safe to take, but your doctor should. If you don't think you can wait until tomorrow, call your doctor ASAP and see if they can get you in today or at least prescribe something to help you now. You WILL get through this! It's a stressful time of year financially, but just do what you can and be creative.

I don't know how old your children are, but if they're too young to know the difference anyway, don't stress yourself out too much. If they're a little older, you can make them cards with the promise of a fun day together after Christmas (when you have a little more money). You can tell them what you have planned or give them little hints and keep them guessing. Kids are really cool, though, and will be happy just spending the day with you, no matter what you do. The dollar stores have some fun things for kids, cool pens, etc. and they don't know how much you spent or didn't spend. If you have a thrift store/Salvation Army/Goodwill, etc. store near you, you can find all sorts of things there that look like you spent a fortune but they're really cheap, even stuff for kids, especially around the holidays. If something is a little more than yo wanted to spend, they're usually willing to bargain there. One year when things were really tight financially for me, DH and I (we weren't married then) made each other a card and "gift" with the theme "if money wasn't an issue, for Christmas I would buy you..." That was one of the best Christmas's we've had! The year before that, I made him a coupon book for a special date that I would take him on and surprise him each month of the following year (I spread out the money I would have spent on a gift because I just didn't have it with a DD to shop for). We had more fun on those dates than whatever I would have bought him for Christmas. We did things like going to see ice sculptures in January, a romantic picnic at the park in June ending with a nice overnight at a bed-n-breakfast far enough away to be out of town, but not an all day trip to get there or the cost of airfare, we drove. My brother was short on money one year and he decorated a mayonaise jar and filled it with memories that he had growing up with my parents. My mom thought that was the best gift she could have ever gotten. If you have a big extended family, suggest drawing names this year, I'm sure other people will be relieved as well. If you normally buy for friends, do the mayonaise jar idea of memories you've had with each of them or write them personal letters telling each of them how much they mean to you. No real friend would want you to stress yourself out and spend money you don't have just to get them a gift, and besides, wouldn't you rather receive a heartfelt letter telling you how special you are from someone who really means it than some gift someone picked up at the store? You can put your thinking cap on and be creative. You can do it!

Your babies need you, so hang in there! Definitely call your doctor and be honest with them about how you are feeling today. The appointment setters can sometimes work miracles to get you in to see the doctor when you really need to. Or, worse case scenario, go sit in their lobby and I guarantee you'll be worked in. Your health and mental health are most important!

 
Old 11-14-2006, 06:08 AM   #4
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soo sad HB User
Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

thankyou for the replies,My mom called this morning and I literally cracked,started bawling on the phone.She called my psychiatrists office to get me in right away,he isnt in today so they suggested the crisis center 30 miles away at a different hospital.I have been there,wait 2 hours in a small room by yourself with nothing in it but a magazine so you do not hurt yourself to see a doc you dont even know for 5 minutes.
My family doc,who is also my obgyn is not in until after 1:30 this afternoon,he might do the same,refer me to the crisis clinic.
I finally have calmed down after an hour of bawling,feel a bit better and hopefully will be able to make it through the rest of the day,and night.
I am just soo tired,mentally and physically.

 
Old 11-14-2006, 06:18 AM   #5
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

Hang in there! You're going to be okay! Try to stay focused on your children and how much they need you to hang in there for them. If you have to go to the clinic, then go. I know you know that it's a better alternative than anything else if you just can't wait until later or tomorrow. It WILL be okay! Try to focus on what you CAN do, not what is beyond your control.

 
Old 11-15-2006, 02:47 AM   #6
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soo sad HB User
Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

I never got to see anyone yesterday..6 am here and another 3 hours sleep last night..I need the shaking to stop,ohhh god i cannot take another day like this,please god help me stop shaking

 
Old 11-15-2006, 05:39 AM   #7
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

I don't know if you're posting on the mental health board or not, but it sounds like, except for the meds, you might get even more support there than here.

The crisis center, while not the best option as far as getting personalized treatment, might be your best bet right now until you get to a stable point. Does your area have a mental health clinic (residential)? Or is that the crisis center you mentioned? I ask because I know that if I was worried about a family member's mental health state I could always call the police and have him/her held for 72 hours at the local behavioral health center -- they do this in case the person is a danger to him/herself or others. At this point, it sounds to me that you are a danger to yourself, your current children, and your unborn child as well.

What about going to the emergency room at the hospital? You say that you know you need to be hospitalized... maybe the place to start is at your local hospital. They must have a psychiatric ward with on-staff psychiatrists and nurses trained to deal with emotional and mental health issues.

Hang in there.

 
Old 11-15-2006, 06:38 AM   #8
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

soo sad - are you okay? I've been worried about you. You mentioned that you have an appointment with your doctor today. I hope all goes better after that and that they can give you something to calm your nerves and get you back on track. Please post after your appointment and let us know how you are!

 
Old 11-15-2006, 02:46 PM   #9
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soo sad HB User
Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

Yes I seen my ob this morning,who has also been my family doc for over 20yrs this morning,I was crying,shaking..he said I am bad,have lost 15 pounds in the last month,he assured me that valum is safe and raised my dose to 2,3 times a day at .5mg,and ativan if needed.
He called my psychiatrist and got me in right away,I went to see him and again was crying,he asked me if I wanted to be put in the hospital and I said not yet,I am trying to work so my daughter has a half decent x-mas.
He put me off the rest of the week because I need to get some sleep,told me to take 4 valum tonight going to bed to sleep,then start the 2-3times a day tomorrow,he also prescribed prozac as well I know if I can get the shaking to stop and sleep I can face the rest.I see him again monday and we will go from there I just hope it works.
I chose this board to post on instead of the anxiety board because I am pregnant and thought maybe someone else posting here is in the same situation,maybe I am in the wrong place but thankyou for the support,I am not a threat to my current daughter at all but agree that this pregnancy is threatened,no sleep barely eating,vomiting,is not good.
I wish to god I was not like this,and taking all this medication scares me to death while pregnant,but not doing anything is going to be worse.My ob reassured me alot of mothers take these types of meds and have perfectly healthy babies ,I am not the first and will not be the last one to.I just hope for a peaceful sleep and good day tomorrow

 
Old 11-15-2006, 09:44 PM   #10
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

I too suffer from anxiety, although have never gotten to the point you're at. I know you want your daughter to have a good Christmas but you HAVE to take care of yourself and your unborn child. Even if that means taking some time off work. Gifts are NOT that important to have a good Christmas. Just do a few gifts and spend the day doing things she wants to, that don't cost money. I know it's hard, especially while having anxiety attacks, but try not to stress about money. Yes, I realize you need to pay the bills, but don't cause yourself more stress by focusing on something that may be out of your hands. I'm not saying that your daughter is any less important than your unborn child, but he/she is counting on you to take care of yourself. Don't second guess yourself if you need to go to the hospital. A few days to let you gain control of yourself might be what you need right now. And don't be too worried about the medicine you need to take. Your baby needs you to be calm during this time. I'm so sorry that you're dealing with all this right now. You, your daughter, and your baby will be in my prayers.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 07:23 AM   #11
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soo sad HB User
Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

Tiff 24 you said you have been here and I wouldnt wish this on my worst enemy..I did what the doc said,although I have concerns about the meds,managed to nap for about 4 hrs yesterday,ate some stew,I cannot eat large amounts so ate it at 3 diff times about 3hrs apart.
I took the meds before bed and slept about 4-5 hrs but had barely any symptoms this morning when i awoke which i thank god for,will continue to do what the doc says and stop fighting the urge to do it alone.
This pregnancy was a complete shock and alot of my anxiety was the doubt i could be a "healthy"mother to this one,I have done alot of research on the web and found many websites that said it could be more harmfull to the baby to leave anxiety/depression untreated during pregnancythan take the meds and realize now that my baby is in more danger with me not eating and sleeping,than taking meds that many woman have had to take.I feel calmer today,not 100% but definately managable.and will definately do whatever I can right now to give this baby the best chance which includes hospitalization if needed.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 08:59 AM   #12
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

I'm so glad you're doing better now. It's more important to take care of yourself than try to deal with your disorder without the meds. Thanks for posting and letting us know yo're okay and for posting on this board. Many women read the boards but never post and I'm sure you're not the only one who has ever faced this.

 
Old 11-16-2006, 12:29 PM   #13
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Wink Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

Dear Soo Sad,
I’m so glad to hear your feeling calmer today. I was on Prozac for years before becoming pregnant. I was also on Ativan. I am 10 weeks along now. My OB took me off Prozac & Ativan right away but only because I felt I could handle being off the medicine. I have also since quit smoking and am totally stressed out. I don’t have any children. Just the baby on the way. I feel so bad for you & Im so glad you were able to see your Dr & have some relief. Try not to stress over being on medication during your pregnancy. Your sanity is most important. You need it for your child & baby on the way. You should be posting here rather than on another board. We are here to help support you during your pregnancy.
Hugs to you in beautiful Canada!!!
Xoxoxo
Jenny

Last edited by moderator2; 11-17-2006 at 08:29 AM. Reason: posted contact info

 
Old 11-16-2006, 01:35 PM   #14
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

Jenny take it from someone who is there,if you are feeling stressed out and your symtoms return get help asap,do not let yourself go,my symptoms resurfaced almost a month ago,first mild and I thought i could control it without meds.I couldnt!you are right if i completely loose it,which was very close,I am no good to my daughter,Dp,or this baby..I am here and maybe we can support eachother through this tough time.
Thankyou for everyone who posted ,You helped me more than you could ever know and I would not have gotten through these last 3 days without you..God bless every last one of my Angels

 
Old 11-16-2006, 06:57 PM   #15
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Re: Pregnant and Having a nervous Breakdown

I'm so relieved to hear that you're doing a little better today. I COMPLETELY understand that you don't want to take anti-depression meds while you're pregnant. If you're like me, there's a side of me that feels guilty that I can't control my depression/anxiety and that I have to take something that gets to my little boy. BUT.... I know that he's a lot better off than if I were to go into a deep depression. So you just have to look at taking your meds as actually protecting your baby. I take Welbutrin and my dr. told me that my baby might be a little cranky for a few weeks after he's born but that he will be perfectly fine with me taking meds my entire pregnancy. Just keep taking your meds and try to get some rest and enjoy the wonders of your pregnancy! Keep us posted and I'm so glad to hear that your doing better!!

 
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