It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Pregnancy Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 11-26-2007, 07:21 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Unhappy Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

I am going on my third week right now. I feel so weird you guys...My boobs are so sore...my tummy is tingling inside..i feel kind of nauseous, but i haven't thrown up....I feel like such a big baby because i am 31 and I have never experienced this.

I think and know it'll be a great experience, however I am scared to go thru with 9 months of pregnancy. Fear of eating incorrectly, fear of drinking wrong, fear of falling asleep and accidentally laying on my belly. Fear of falling after 5 months and then dealing with the pain of having to miscarry... I am scared to get attached to something that may be taken from me.. So many birth defects, so many things that can go wrong... You guys, I am so lost, i don't know what to do...
I need guidance, God, or something... I'm so bogged down with everything. I'm just so confused. Help please.

Last edited by Mod-S4; 02-29-2008 at 10:39 AM. Reason: Disallowed topic.

 
Old 11-26-2007, 08:42 AM   #2
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Another thing that I'd like to add is this. My boyfriend is an *******. Point blank. He's a great provider for me, and for his other children, and he is a very loving person. However his fears make him act out sometimes, and I dont' know what more I can handle.
I spoke with him earlier today and asked him how he's feeling today about everything. His reply is, "What should I be feeling" I said, well i did just find out that im pregnant, and he says, "Mannnn you aint' pregnant" I feel like he thinks i'm lying to him to trap him or something. I ask for his input because it's both of our decisions on what to do, and he tells me it's my decision, and to do what makes me happy....He's a jerk and i don't know if I'm just emotional because of the baby, or whattttt...I am so frustrated!!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 11-26-2007, 08:56 AM   #3
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Milwaukee, WI, US
Posts: 100
findingbalance HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

First of all take a deep breath....No one can tell you what you and your boyfriend should do. The morning after pill that you mentioned works only a few days after having sex so you would not be a candidate for it. Just because you are pregnant does not mean you have to get married. Just because you are pregnant does not mean you have to quit your jobs. Surprises happen, my second son was a big surprise to the point where he might have been an immaculate conception. My situation was different but everything turned out okay...I am one to believe that God has a higher plan for us and we should take it as it comes.

Since you are pregnant, you need to take care of yourself as you take the time to make a decision about what to do. Go to a store and pick up some prenatal vitamins (the over the counter ones are just as good as the doctor's prescription). Get plenty of rest because, either way, the first trimester can be difficult. Try to worry less about everything else. Take some time to listen to what your heart is telling you. Your body naturally protects the baby...the baby gets the nutrients it needs first, taking it from your body's stores if necessary and is very well protected inside your uterus. You don't need to worry about falling wrong...I fell down some stairs in my first pregnancy at five and half months and only ended up with a nasty rug burn. Until you make your decision, don't drink alcohol and try to eat better. (Small more frequent meals often helps the morning sickness.) Sleeping on your belly won't hurt the baby at this point and I doubt that it would be very comfortable as you get further into pregnancy.

I'm currently pregnant with my third. I went through all those worries with the first, less with the second, and even less with the third. Pregnancy is an amazing thing - sometimes wonderful, sometimes not. Don't be scared of pregnancy - your body knows what to do and may seem so foreign to you at times but as long as you do your best, you, your boyfriend, and the baby will be fine.

So take a breath, listen to your heart, and know you will be okay!
Michelle

 
Old 11-26-2007, 09:07 AM   #4
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Thanks for your reply. I'm just so sad. I cry all day long, even the smallest negative thign I think about overwhelms me so bad. My boyfriend is in such shock that he's not even admitting up to the fact that I am pregnant. Im just sad.

 
Old 11-26-2007, 10:02 AM   #5
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Thanks so much. There is a part of me that wants a baby, because I feel like I am too old right now, and this may be my only chance to ever have one. However, I get really disgusted when I feel any weird feeling in my tummy, or being that my boobs are sore, just knowing that, makes me want to throw up. I can't imagine having something inside of my stomach moving and stuff. I just put my head down and shake it, because I know it's a beautiful and wonderful thing, but I can't shake this mental image. I am so disgusted with being pregnant. I don't know why. I can see my future as far as being pregnant, and i know that the trips to the dr and seeing the ultrasound, hearing the heartbeat, things that people generally are so happy about, I am totally disgusted about. I mean am I sick??? I cannot even watch babies being born on tv or hear the mothers screaming in pain because I cringe up and get nauseous. What's wrong with me?

 
Old 11-26-2007, 12:12 PM   #6
Member
(female)
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 93
tamela67 HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

alot of women get very emotional and depressed during pregnancy. You really need to talk to someone very soon. Do you have planned parenthood where you live? They can help you with your feelings and give you all the info you need on keeping the baby or not keeping it. You are not too old for having babies!! I am now 34, will be 35 when delivery comes and I do not think I am too old!

Last edited by tamela67; 11-26-2007 at 12:13 PM.

 
Old 11-27-2007, 09:26 PM   #7
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Chicago, IL
Posts: 1,196
barton93 HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Hi Yellabonez......pregnancy, especially the first time around, is always scary. We don't know what to expect, we've never been through it, so naturally it has us on an emotional roller coaster. Also, it doesn't seem like your boyfriend is too thrilled at this point......and that alone is causing added stress because the 1 person that you need support from isn't offering very much at all.

The emotions you are going through are very normal. Pregnancy in itself is very emotional. Our hormones are all out of whack, our body is changing, and the thought of childbirth can be horrific. I remember feeling all of this when I was pregnant with my first. But, after she was born........those feelings went away and I fell in love. I knew I was going to love my baby, but I had no idea how powerful unconditional love was.

My kids are now 13 and 8 years old. I'm 32....so I'm not much older than you are. I was also a smoker when I got pregnant with my kids. With my 1st child, smoking literally made me sick, so it was easy to quit. But, with my 2nd, I tried so hard to quit, but I never did fully kick the habit. Luckily, my son was born healthy. He was actually over 9lbs.....which isn't bad considering I smoked. He was smaller than my first, but still quite large for a baby born to a smoking mother. Now, I'm not condoning smoking pregnant or not. I actually felt guilty while I was pregnant. So, if you could quit, obviously I would recommend that. If you cannot quit, then at least cut back. Anything is better than nothing.

So, basically you need to make some decisions. Whether or not to continue on with the pregnancy, nobody can tell you what to do. I know at this point you are confused as to what you should do.

Best wishes to you. Keep us posted.

 
Old 11-28-2007, 06:31 AM   #8
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Hello everyone. All of your inputs are helping me greatly, since I really have no one to talk to. I am pretty much scared to tell everyone just yet, because I really don't know if I can go thru with this. Today, and yesterday I've been having like dizziness. I feel so weird, and it's kind of funny because I feel like such an airhead. I hid my pregnancy test in my house, somewhere, because I didn't want my BF kids to find it. Now, I can't seem to find it. I went to HEB yesterday and took another test to which it came back positive again. I had a long talk with my BF yesterday, and he told me if it is true, congrats, and he's sorry for not being more supportive. He explained to me that he has a hard time trusting any woman, especially when it comes to something of this nature. His first wife whom he was married to for 13 years, really messed up his head bad. They have 4 children together. I asked him if after all those children, if he wanted more, and he said he doesn't care how many kids he has, he loves them, and he'll do his best to take care of what is his responsibility. I cried to him and told him all the things im scared of, all the things im happy about, etc. I am happy about being able to shop in the "baby" aisle. We went down that aisle last night, while at HEB buying prenatal vitamins. I saw rice, and milk and pedialyte, and all different kinds of jars of baby food..I was like WHOA.... Diapers, diaper rash cream, bottles, bibs, little spoons, oh my...I'm ready to start buying diapers right now to stock up on, while I have the extra money because those little boogers are expensive.
I've already picked out a girl name, because my BF is so bitter towards women, that I feel like God is going to give him another daughter lol...
Then, there is a part of me that is like, okay girl, slow down, you dont' even know if this is what you want to do. Im so lost. So emotional. So confused.
We go to the dr today, getting a 3rd pregnancy test. He said he's not going to believe I'm pregnant, until the dr tells him face to face. Talk about denial. I'll keep you posted on how things go after the dr visit today. Thanks a bunch yawl... You all are VERY helpful.

 
Old 11-28-2007, 06:44 AM   #9
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Hello once again. I usually am working from 8am-4:30pm Central Standard time, so these are the times I'm usually on here posting.

Quick note. About 10 minutes ago, ~~8:30am, I had really bad cramps in my stomach, kind of like BAD BAD menstrual cramps. The pain kind of shot down my legs, like my nerves in my back were being pinched ( I currently have L5 S1 disc herniation) What in the world was that? It just cramped all of a sudden, and now it went away. Also, I'm still taking my antibiotic Augmentin, because i've been sick, and I am so sick of beign sick.... I know I need to stop, but being that it's an antibiotic, I don't want to stop in the middle because I "have" to finish it lol. Oh i'm so sick in the head.
Is it possible that my pants are already getting tight in the 3rd week????
I feel like a bloated cow... i'm already 250lbs...how much bigger will SHE make me?? I just wanna cry....argggh!!!

 
Old 11-28-2007, 10:34 AM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 273
Ravishing HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Some cramping is normal early in pregnancy but still mention it at your doctor appointment to be safe. If you have any bright red bleeding be sure to call your doctor asap.

I don't know much about your antibiotic but again, remember to ask about it at your appointment. It might not hurt to make a list of questions and go over them all while you are there. I know bringing a list of things to ask helps me a lot. I tend to get caught up in everything else going on and forget to ask otherwise.

I can't tell you much about weight gain. Some of that will be up to you and how active you are and how healthy you eat and some of that will be up to the baby. Your doctor will probably give you an approximate amount s/he would like to see you gain. My doctor said I should gain 25-35lbs and I'm right on track with that. I'm 9 months and have gained 22lbs so far.
__________________
Attitude is the difference between an adventure and an ordeal.

 
Old 11-29-2007, 06:20 AM   #11
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Just an update. My boyfriend and I went to the clinic yesterday to take a pregnancy test. They told us it'll be 2 to 4 hours for the results. They gave us a 1 800 number to call into, and I can type in my social security number and get my results. Well it's 8:15am and still no results. My boyfriend is really anxious, he hasn't slept all night. (Remember he's the one in denial, i'm not) I slept like a baby... so, hopefully he'll call today to get his new results... I can't wait to see the look on his face when he finds out how truthful a woman can really be (Me) since he has such a hard time trusting women... Hahaha, i'm going to laugh so hard...

 
Old 11-29-2007, 06:27 AM   #12
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Boyfriend just called me and said "Congratulations New Momma" So it's confirmed finally. Now we'll see if I can finally get the support I need from him. Oh I'm at work and wanna hold him and just cry right now...Urrrgghhh!

 
Old 11-29-2007, 09:00 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: California, CA, USA
Posts: 1,117
Destea HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Hang in there girl, even for those us of that really planned and wanted our pregnancies when we got them (more or less) - have fears and are intimidated and such about it! I sure know I am! I've wanted to be a Mom for as long as I can remember - but I'm STILL terrified of the actual HAVING A CHILD in my care!! It's a very big thing!

But you know what? I think it's going to be great. Everyone does it, people have been doing it for thousands of years and look at how most of us ended up? We're all doing ok. People just figure it out - no one is born knowing everything they need to do for a new baby! SO take a few deep breaths... I think from your last few posts, at least to me, it seems clear that you do want this baby. It's still completely up to you - but honestly from the way you type despite being scared (and that's ok, it is kind of scary!!)... it really seems like you can imagine having this child and building that bond.

Take it day by day, you'll be great! It's never easy when change comes, especially big changes, but we always adapt and make it out on top

 
Old 11-29-2007, 01:05 PM   #14
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Texas
Posts: 19
Yellabonez HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Hi Destea,
Your post made me cry. You are so right. I do want this baby, however, i am really really scared. Scared of an unhealthy baby, scared of falling, scared of failing, scared of not eating right, drinking right, gaining sooooo much weight, not being able to tie my shoes, not being to bathe myself correctly, and the list goes on.
I can see myself with this sweet child that I am finally going to have....it's getting easier to accept now. Especially after my boyfriend told me today that if I can't tie my shoes, or wipe my own a** because im so big, HE'S GOT MY BACK lol lol...that in our weird relationship, was funny and very very comforting...I love him, and his previous children are going to be so happy. I just need to quit smoking now. it's hard..
Im anxious to go buy a baby book and chart my progress lol..
Your name is so much like the name I want to name my child, if it is a little girl. I figured I won't have a boy because my BF is so sour towards women, I figure God is going to give him another girl on purpose. I think the name Desrea pronounced Des-Ree-Uh is cute..and it is a combination of his name and mine. I'm so goofy arent' I? lol im happy though..I know what I need and want to do...
Thank you, the tears felt wonderful!

 
Old 11-29-2007, 04:13 PM   #15
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: California, CA, USA
Posts: 1,117
Destea HB User
Re: Pregnant for the first time @ age 31 and I'm really scared.

Well I'm glad it helped! I think Desrea is a very beautiful name

If it makes you feel any better... while I'm only 26 - this is my first child and I can promise you I'm terrified of almost all of the same things you've listed above! (I don't smoke and drinking has never been an issue for me so I don't miss the option - but everything else on there rings 100% true!).

I'd be willing to bet most women here had these fears and most probably still do if this is their first. We don't know what to expect, it's a HUGE change, and it's a big unknown. But we'll figure it out, we have people to help us - we're not alone, and childrearing is not some new phenomenon so I'm sure there's plenty of information to be found out there to help us on our way, right? Get the book what to expect when expecting - it really helped with some of my questions, that's for sure (at least about pregnancy!).

Gosh I don't think I know a woman yet who isn't really scared of finding out their child may have a disability or problem, of course we want to be sure the baby is healthy - that's maternal instinct right from the start. There's tons more where that came from. Smoking is definitely the big one here, but you can work on that and do your best, let that vision of your baby be your driving force Who knows? Might be the best way to quit!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
What are the chances of getting pregnant? longingforhope Birth Control 0 04-19-2010 05:16 AM
Labour & exercise for a pregnant with pfo and "stairs climbing triggered tachicardya" sampo2 Heart Disorders 0 03-30-2009 01:36 PM
Finally pregnant and he is acting weird. tami52100 Pregnancy 2 03-05-2008 08:27 PM
Could i be pregnant lindssseyyyy Sexual Health - Teens 4 03-07-2007 02:42 AM
PLEASE HELP ME! i might be pregnant, but i would have said no! Nosilla Pregnancy-Teen 4 10-03-2006 04:35 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Seraph (6), cattieos (2), mumovhann (2), kittenkaboodle (2), Xkwizit (2), TwinMamma (2), quinyonna07 (2), Kali333 (2), hillarynotclinton (1), lovelyme (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1180), MSJayhawk (1013), Apollo123 (909), Titchou (859), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (763), ladybud (755), midwest1 (671), sammy64 (668), BlueSkies14 (607)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:40 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!