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Old 07-16-2008, 07:53 AM   #1
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missmeliss HB Usermissmeliss HB User
Feeling a little undesirable :(

I'm 14 weeks along now, and at first I was NOT in the mood for sex at all. Probably because I was exhausted, bloated, and nauseated all the time. Strangely enough, my hubby didn't seem to mind much that we weren't being intimate. He just left me alone in that respect and didn't even try. I thought it was really sweet he understood. My miserable symptoms all subsided at about 10 weeks, and for the past two weeks especially I have been in sex overdrive. I feel like I want it all the time! I know this is common with some women, but there is a problem...I think my husband doesn't want it! Before pregnancy, he used to want it all the time too...now he seems uninterested. Last week we actually had sex for the 1st time in over a month, and he seemed strange the whole time. Like he was uncomfortable. To make matters worse, he faked his orgasm! I thought he finished (he acted like it), but afterward there was no semen inside me (normally it's a mess dripping out everywhere). I didn't say anything because I didn't want to make him feel bad, but now it's really bothering me. I feel like I don't turn him on anymore. We have read lots of books and articles about sex during pregnancy, so he knows it is safe and that we aren't hurting the baby. I tried to talk to him about it the other night, but he just told me I was being ridiculous. I ended up in tears, of course, because I am an emotional wreck right now. How do I approach this with him? Has anyone else had this problem with their hubby?

Last edited by Mod08; 07-16-2008 at 11:26 AM.

 
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Old 07-16-2008, 09:46 AM   #2
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Tiffany13 HB User
Re: Feeling a little undesirable :(

Regardless of what all the books say your hubby might still have those fears of hurting you or the baby. You might try to keep talking to him about it and explain how it makes you feel that he seems uninterested. He may say you're being ridiculous but that is how you feel right now. Also things in there might feel different to him and that can scare him...I know it did my husband. There are many other ways to be intimate with each other for the time being and they may relax him enough to want to and be ok with doing more. Just remember this is a huge change for both of you and communication is key...also he wouldn't get erect if you didn't turn him on so remember for yourself that you are desirable and sexy!!!

 
Old 07-16-2008, 11:06 AM   #3
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Re: Feeling a little undesirable :(

my hubby wants sex and all but he refuses to be on top and I get tired of doing all the work. I told him he isn't hurting me and he's not hurting the baby. I have even tried to tell him how much I enjoy him on top or other positions but still nothing. So your hubby isn't the only one acting really weird about sex.
And if you really want to feel bad this is what happened to me I was in the mood so I got Dh to go to bed early I asked him if he was tired and he told me no he had a easy day at work and felt good so we go to bed and I was getting DH in the mood all was good I got up to go to the bathroom (small bladder) and when I came back all I had done was gone and he faked being asleep at 7pm I know he was faking because a show he loves to watch comes on at 8 and he got up and went and watched it. Talk about feeling unwanted and unattractive. I not sure what I was feeling more hurt,mad, unattactive or all of the above.
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Maybe TTC #3 if it's ment to be ok if not ok not stressing this time. :-)

 
Old 07-16-2008, 04:28 PM   #4
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JustDance HB User
Re: Feeling a little undesirable :(

I'm glad to see I'm not the only one with intimacy-related issues during pg. Due to IVF, we weren't allowed by our dr's to do anything for the 1st trimester. But in the second trimester I didn't get that surge in raging sex drive they say comes to some women (some of you obviously did). Now that I am starting my 3rd trimester, I'm so big - very few, if any, positions seem to be comfortable to me. DH is willing to try & make me comfy, but it just doesn't work very well. On top of that, I get sore in the pelvic area for a couple days afterward. (I've had to give up my pre-natal yoga also due to very uncomfortable pelvic pressure.) So I just pretty much have no sex drive. I feel bad for DH, but he has been pretty great about it.

 
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