Hi spoiled_fun.I just wanted to be sure to reach so I posted for you personally sorry! I can honestly say I know exactly how you are feeling.I am 31 yrs old my dh and I have been together for almost eleven yrs.It all began in 1994 we were living together not married but were so in love we decided to conceive.We found out we were pg.and he went out and bought baby bed and whole ensemble to match before my three months well at nine weeks I miscarried and its a grief that is hard to overcome.We got rid of bed and stuff not to be reminded.Months later I got pregnant again only to miscarry a second time.After that we had pretty much gave up our hearts had no more room for grief.Well in 1995 I found out I was pg.again and to our surprise carried full term and had a beautiful daughter she is now seven but it didn't end here.When she was about two yrs old I was having really bad pains on my right side that would make me faint from being so extreme No doc could find my problem so they decided to do exploratory surgery to find a pregnancy in my right tube which had ruptured and I was bleeding internally.This miscarriage wasn't actually hard to face because we did not know I was pg.Then I got back on birth control well in the beginning of 2002 we decided to try for one more time in March I found out I was pg.My hcg levels were not doubling as they should but they were rising.U/S were done every three weeks to monitor baby everything looked fine doc was actually surprised at nine weeks he told me not to expect to see heartbeat because by this time I was bleeding well low and behold my little one fooled both of us at nine weeks this baby had heartrate of 160 and looked great.At eleven weeks two days I miscarried and had to have a D/C.It nearly destroyed my dh and I.We agreed to have our baby blessed and then do genetic testing I needed to know what was the cause.Well test showed baby had three chromosomes and I had antiphospholipid syndrome which meant my blood was clotting and only 50% of blood and oxygen was reaching my baby.I cried for two weeks solid and dh refused to try for anymore his heart was broke and he had given up.I said a prayer one night that if we could just have one more chance to have a healthy baby I would never ask for another.This was in May 2002.I stayed off birth control and in October I found out I was four weeks pregnant I was terrified.This time I said if it didn't make it I would tie my tubes.Doc put me on Heparin injections twice a day to thin out blood.Dh was actually thrilled and surprisingly had hope I didn't well here I am almost eighteen weeks pregnant and baby is fine according to many u/s.I do a triple screen blood test next week to determine any abnormalities which scares me but I have hope.I know this story was long and boring I just wanted you and your dh to know please don't give up.The mourning will be hard and devastating but it does get better.And when you do get pregnant again just remember to put it in god's hands and he will take care of you guys I know I did!I wish you all the luck in the world and my prayers are with you. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif">
Thank you for sharing your wonderful story, and it was by no means boring. I thank God that you have a healthy pregnancy and that it continues to stay that way. It seems you are over the hurdle of the first trimester.
I am so sorry for all your pain and can relate a little as I have also had a miscarriage. I was only 5 1/2 weeks into it and lost it at home, so I don't know why. All I know is that my progesterone levels were low. I am 43 and ttc again with my husband (who has no children of his own) and am running into problems. I don't even know what they are to be honest and no insurance yet.
Anyway, thank you for being willing to share your heartbreak and I hope that others will take comfort and seek God's hand in their ttc.
Continued good health to you and the baby! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif">
Well, i finally got up enough energy to check the computer this morning only to fin a beautiful story from you-i really appreciatte it-you know sometimes i wish that god would work his magic and let my dh's vasectomy just grow back together, i have prayed over and over that that would happen-but thats why we have been trying AI-in june of 2002 my husband had decided that he didnt really think that we were ready for kids but this was after the first AI procedure so it was a little too late-i was pg with twins-after about a week of bed rest I woke up in blood only to find out the next morning that at 5 weeks we had lost them both. In august we decided it was time to try again and again we lost that one-well we waited and then in november we tried and december we tried and january thinking that none of them worked-i didnt feel pg and i was still getting my AF but this was with a differant doctor then the first 3 m/c so i just thought that it wasnt working-i have been through it all-we have made it through my husband having an affair with his ex wife which trust me was the hardest thing for a 20 year old to go through-we have made it through me loosing two grandparents and him one in the last year-plus, i had to have emergancy surgery for what they thought was breast cancer back in september-stressful-now none of this was easy but has brought us closer and made both of us realize that a family would be very nice right now-we are stronger then ever and ready to move on-i still have those nightmares about him and his ex but i dont let them out in the open because it only makes me worry about something that i have put away through counciling-but it is very hard to overcome a lot of these-but seeing that little baby laying there in the doctors hands-that just tore me apart-im still depressed, overcome with fear of what will happen next, and i dont know how much more i am willing to take of hurt and being upset-the last year has been hard-harder then i ever thought being married befor-i know this is off the subject but has anyone else had to deal with their husband having an affair?
Yes I have a year ago and it came out that it was an 8 month long thing. 5 of those months we were together. I also found out that there was a fling right before that! It is the hardest thing, but I am doing so much better. It took hitting rock bottom for him to see what he missed out on. He is home every night now after work. The way it always should have been.
Baby's Arrival Expected August 2, 2003
You are both so courageous and forgiving. I am proud of you both. I don't think I could have stayed...Best of luck to both of you, and LovelyMe, take care of yourself and that baby!!! Spoiled_Fun...you have been through so much in your short life. Somehow we get through all the hurts life throws in our paths. Everyone goes through different torments in life and what seems to be a cakewalk for some is devastating and debilitating for another. You have made it through some tough spots. Don't give up hope and keep the faith. Things will be as they should...You are still in my prayers, sweetie. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif">
WOW. I read the first post this morning and it made me cry. But I didn't want to respond because I was afraid I'd be imposing when it was addressed to spoiled. However, since everyone has made some comments, I thought I should just say how much each of you touched my heart with these posts.
It amazes me that each of you have been through so much and yet, so caring towards another women in their time of need.
Spoiled, I have tremendous empathy for you. I have also had two m/c and it it a horrible thing to go through. That image that you have in your head about the doctor and the baby, give yourself some time to heal. I still have visions of that terrible day Jan 16, 2002. It was horrible. No one should have to go through it. But you will find some peace with all of this. Its hard to understand the reasons why and as humans, I think we're always looking for the cause and effect.
If I could offer you anything, I would ask that you think of yourself right now. You have been through alot with your dh and the affair, m/c and other loses in your life. It's time to put yourself first. I'm rambling now, but I just wanted you to know that your story really touched my heart and I'm pulling for you. I pray that you will recover from this and the other issues you mentioned and continue with your desire to have another baby. It will work out....Take care -J