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Old 03-04-2002, 01:40 PM   #1
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oyakusheva HB User
cold feet?

Hi everyone!

I just got married, and my husband and I are planning to have a child. I've always wanted to have children, especially after I turned 25 I've been thinking about it all the time and it made me feel good and excited. Anyways, I don't know what happened to me but I am so scared now I don't even want to think about it anymore. I can't get the thought of not being able to love my baby or even hurting them (like that woman in Texas) out of my head. I talked about it with my husband and he thinks it's totally unreasonable and unlike me (HA!) to be thinking about it. I know it is, but I just can't help it. Am I getting cold feet? Has anyone felt somewhat that way before? Please help, I don't know what to do.--Olga

 
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Old 03-04-2002, 08:54 PM   #2
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Lori A HB User
Re: cold feet?

I know how you feel. I got married in September and we talked about trying right away. When it came to the honey moon we decided we did not want to rush and just settle into married life. A month later we bought our first home and are getting it built for this spring. During Christmas holidays we spent 2 weeks together relaxing and finally decided it was time to start a family. Dont' worry about your age. you are only 25. I am 29 and just feeling like this is the right time. I am sure you will both know when the time is right.
Good luck

 
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Old 03-04-2002, 11:15 PM   #3
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Molly M HB User
Re: cold feet?

I agree that it is nice to wait a while. If you are only 25 (I wish I was still 25!) and just got married, maybe having a year or two to yourself is a good idea. I got married when I was 26, and got pregnant when I was 29. I think it worked out well. It gave us time to live married life (not that it was much different than our life before). I'm sure there are a lot of women who have "cold feet" like you. Everyone wants to be a perfect mother, and of course no one is. But the people who murder their children or don't love them are mentally ill - very ill. Good luck deciding what to to. I'm sure it will work out fine. And congratulations on your recent marriage!!

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Molly H.

 
Old 03-05-2002, 07:32 PM   #4
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Shaelle HB User
Re: cold feet?

My (now) husband, knew that I wanted another kid before he even asked me to marry him. I wanted to make sure that who ever I was dating wanted to have kids in the future too, because I wasn't going to date someone who didn't want what I wanted. Anyways, We got married, and now it's been 2 years and I am now pregnant. I am glad I waited it out because that first year of marriage was not easy!!!! I think we were both ready for a divorce within 3 months, 2 adults used to living alone. But we learned to work together and talk things out. We are still working on that "compromise" word. But things are much easier now. I would really have hated to add the stress of a pregnancy on top of that first year.

I know your desire to have a baby, they are the most wonderful things, but sometimes you need to make sure that you are in a safe and secure relationship to feel comfortable with such a comitment. Maybe this is your body's underlying way of telling you to wait. No need to rush, enjoy your single life with your husband. Sex is still exciting, but soon that excitement just wears down, then that's a good time to think about babies. That way it won't be such a big deal if you can't have sex for a while. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/wink.gif"> lol

Good Luck, Keep in touch, let us know what you decide.

 
Old 03-07-2002, 05:03 PM   #5
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westerngirl HB User
Re: cold feet?

I don't think how you're feeling is strange. We're thinking about trying to conceive and my emotions about it run from one extreme of "What are we thinking?" to "Of course we can do this". I think it's pretty normal.

 
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