As a ttc'er, I think about getting pregnant everyday. And everyday, I dream about the children that I don not yet have. I got this email today and it made me remember even more clearly why I want children. They are the greatest gift....gift of happiness, joy and of course, LAUGHTER!
>--- I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my five-year-old shout from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!">>-
---- My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd>dropped his tooth brush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in>the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my>bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a>charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.">>
----- On the first day of school, a first grader handed his teacher a note>from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents.">>
----- A woman was trying hard to get the catsup to come out of the jar. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four- year old daughter>to answer the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her>mother. Then she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now. She's hitting the bottle.">>
------- A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies>grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and then asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?">>
------- POLICE # 1 While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I was interrupted by a little girl about six years old. Looking up and down at my uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued writing the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the police. Is that right?", she asked.>>"Yes, that's right," I told her.>"Well, then," she said as she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?">>
-------POLICE # 2 It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the station. As I gathered my equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was barking, and I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back there?" he>asked.>>"It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What did HE do?">>
-------ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds. She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheel chairs. One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!">>
------- DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit." "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache next morning.">>
--------- SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just wasting>my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and they won't let me talk!">>
TCB, that was so cute!
I thought this one was funny too!
A college professor was doing a study testing the senses of first-graders using a bowl of Lifesavers. He gave all of the children the same kind of lifesaver one at a time and asked them to identify them by color and flavor.
Finally, the professor gave them all honey Lifesavers.
After eating them for a few moments, none of the children could identify the taste.
"Well" he said, "I'll give you all a clue. It's what your mother may sometimes call your father."
One little girl looked up in horror, spit hers out and
yelled, Everybody, spit them out - they're A$$HOLES!!!"
That was sooo cute!!! I know I was just talking to my dh about how much fun it will be to see what our little one will come up with!! They are great and you never know what philosophy they will come up with!!!
Thanks for the laugh!!!! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif"> I hope all is well with you!!! Here's some baby dust***********************
Angel <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/angel.gif">
Even though I have heard the lifesaver one before it cracks me up every time!!!!!!!! This might be sappy, but whenever something sad about local news or the world comes on TV, My 3 1/2 year old, Julia, starts to sing God Bless America. It is actually pretty funny when she gets to where she doesn't know the words. And for those of you who don't know them either it goes, "God bless America...happy sunshine DAY..with cookies and mommy and daddy and my sister too...forever in the weeld (world)." Yep that's right folks! Little history lesson for ya there.
Baby's Arrival Expected August 2, 2003
That is cute. My son sings "Jingle Bells...Jingle Bells..Jingle all the way..Oh what fun it is to ride..when you are only one horse away."
One horse open sleigh don't make sence to him so he made up his own words.
Here is a funny potty training story. When I was trying to potty train my son (at 2 1/2) my Mom started giving him a quarter everytime he "pooed" in the potty. He would take it imediatly and put it in his bank at MaMaw's house. Even if he "pooed" at home he had to call MaMaw and tell her to put a quarter in his bank. Well one day we were at a store and I had to use the bathroom. I had to take him into the stall with me, and the bathroom was crowded. I was "pooing". When he heard it plop into the water he started jumping up and down screaming "YOU DID IT MOMMY, YOU DID IT. YOU POOED IN THE POTTY, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, COME ON HURY UP, WE HAVE TO GO CALL MAMAW SO SHE CAN GIVE YOU A QUARTER"! The whole ladies bathroom bursted out in laughter and I tried to just sit there and wait for everyone else to leave, so I didn't have to show my face.
due 07/27/2002<p>[This message has been edited by Momofa4yrold (edited 02-13-2003).]
EXACTLY!!!! They always say things like that in public. Julia did something similar and also while changing clothes in a dressing room (which had no celing as it was just in the middle of the department store with doors to hide you only) and she yells at the top of her lungs, "WHY ARE YOU NAKEY MOMMY!!??". Okay can you say want to curl up and die!! I guess she really couldn't fathom why I was taking my clothes off in a private room while we were there to shop. Now she gets it.
Baby's Arrival Expected August 2, 2003
Out of the mouths of babes. I dont have any children but thought i would share some of the stories i have heard from friends.
A mother walked into the chemist with her two year old to put in a script as the place was crowded she left it there and went to the local deli and picked up some prawns (shrimp) for dinner. They returned to the chemist to wait for the script, when all of a sudden mr 2yr old was on a chair shouting listen everyone my mums got worms, Mum looking stunned said PRAWNS, PRAWNS, ive got prawns, c look here in bag. All to no avail the damage was done.
Mr 2yr old was being potty trained on the big people toilet, when all of sudden the next time mr 2yr old had to go potty it was out on the front lawn, much to the horror of mum and dad. After a week mum pulled 2 yr old aside to discover y, only to find out that he didnt like the splashing he was receiving on his behind