It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Pregnancy Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-18-2002, 12:32 PM   #1
Newbie
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 5
cdee16 HB User
Please give me some advice

I am desperately wanting to have a baby. I have really thought about it a lot. But the main thing is that I'm not married. I don't even have a boyfriend. But I have a good job and I feel really stable. I have looked up information on it and stuff. So I'm not just making a rush decision. I have really thought about it a lot. I have even talked it over with my family and they really surprised me with their reaction. They told me if that's what I want to do then do it I'm not planning on sleeping around to get pregnant. I have looked into a sperm bank and different things like that. I just want to show someone how much I love them and I really love children. I have 2 older sisters and they both have children and I am very involved in their lives. So, please give me some advice on what you think?

 
Old 03-18-2002, 01:07 PM   #2
Veteran
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 305
ana_24 HB User
Re: Please give me some advice

I think it depends on how old you are. If you're in your 20s, then you should give yourself a few more years because you may find someone that you'll want to marry and have babies with. If however you're in your 30s and you feel that this is the best route for you, then go for it!
Just make sure you think about all the consequences of single parenthood, especially through a donor. You will have no financial suport and even though your family may be there for emotional support, there's nothing like having a boyfriend or a husband by your side through the entire experience. You'll want someone to share it with and I truly believe that love comes to everyone with time.
However, in the end, only you know what's best for you. Good luck!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 03-18-2002, 02:17 PM   #3
Inactive
 
Join Date: Feb 2001
Posts: 0
whitewolf95 HB User
Re: Please give me some advice

You also have to consider the potential child. Are you ready to tell the child that he/she truly has no father when the child gets old enough to ask such questions. You may have all the love in the world for a child and want to give that love. But you have to consider how that child will react and feel that there is no father to look up to and to love. It can be tough to grow up without a father even if there is plenty of love from other family it still cant replace that hole a father fills.
So make sure you are ready to answer to a child on that level. Do you want to bring a child into the world that might resent you in some way for not haivng a real father for them??
I am not knocking your desire,not in the least. But you have to think on all sides of this and that includes how a child might feel about this.
Like some have said you would be surprised when love might walk around the corner. Also how would you feel if you have a child and then meet Mr Right. How are you going to explain that to Mr Right??

Here is another idea you can try. Look in fostering a child. I know that sounds strange but it might give you a better view of things. I know someone suggested on another post that you get a pet to take care of. You can try the fostering to see how that goes. Or look into adopting.
Good luck on whatever choice you make.

 
Old 03-18-2002, 05:50 PM   #4
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: meridian, MS United states
Posts: 14
Purrbaby HB User
Re: Please give me some advice

I read a lot and I have read an article about a girl who is just turning 21 or 18 I can't remember and she was concieved using sperm from a sperm bank. The girl was quite well adjusted and everything and her donor had checked the box giving the sperm bank permisssion to give her info about him. The girl did have a lot of fears about ruining or not fitting into his life and yet she really wanted to know who possesed the other half of her genes. Personally, I met my dad when I was 15 after not knowing him and today we still have a hard time relating and I remember while growing up it was VERY hard emotionally not having MY dad around. I had a stepdad who was a father figure but he was not MY father. This can be an upseting issue for many girls. Experts have proven that girls learn how to relate to boys and how to conduct themselves in relationships from their FATHERS not their mothers. The father for a girl especially is an important role model. I think it takes a lot of courage to make this decision. I would consider every aspect before making a decision that will change your life and your future childs.

------------------
Smile, life doesn't last that long.

 
Old 03-18-2002, 08:41 PM   #5
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: chico, ca, usa
Posts: 21
Molly M HB User
Re: Please give me some advice

You really need to put the interest of the child before your own. I want to know just out of curiosity, why do you want to have a baby so badly? Do you know how hard it would be for you? And for the baby? I don't even want to get into the whole daycare thing, which I have strong feelings about. You need to think about it long and hard before you determine another human being's initial fate. Give it a couple more years. Obviously just my opinion, but I think you should wait until you have someone to love, and love you, and share your dream of having a baby.

------------------
Molly H.

 
Old 03-19-2002, 05:47 PM   #6
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York, U.S.A.
Posts: 36
krissy26 HB User
Re: Please give me some advice

I have to agree with a point of White Wolf's about looking into foster care first. I think you are not positive about having a child because you are single, and foster parenting would be a great way to test the waters while helping and nurturing a needy child. You seem to love children, and if you decide to go ahead and try to get pregnant I'm sure you'd make a great parent. Best of luck- keep us posted!!!

 
Old 03-19-2002, 05:48 PM   #7
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: New York, U.S.A.
Posts: 36
krissy26 HB User
Re: Please give me some advice

I have to agree with a point of White Wolf's about looking into foster care first. I think you are not positive about having a child because you are single, and foster parenting would be a great way to test the waters while helping and nurturing a needy child. You seem to love children, and if you decide to go ahead and try to get pregnant I'm sure you'd make a great parent. Best of luck- keep us posted!!!

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
I think i have hiv... please help! guest31 HIV Prevention 7 11-03-2010 12:41 AM
G'ma has Rectal Cancer -- Need Advice Please - urgent jcxl10 Cancer: Colon 0 07-04-2010 04:28 PM
I need some advice, please gorgee Relationship Health 10 06-28-2008 07:43 PM
Huge Dilemma Here, Please, Need Some Advice!! Bryce S Relationship Health 26 12-18-2007 12:56 PM
Advice please!!!! muaythaigirl193 Eating Disorder Recovery 4 11-21-2006 03:50 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:49 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.com
Terms of Use 1998-2014 HealthBoards.com All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!