OK, I was married 2 years ago (age 28) and just turned 30. We don't have any children yet for financial reasons. Besides that, as a newly married couple, marriage was a big enough responsibility and adjustment, so we felt that the best thing to do would be to wait a while before we have kids and just enjoy being a married couple. I try not to worry, but I am concerned about a normal preganacy and being able to have kids because it will probably be about another 2 years before we have children (The economy has been less than kind to us financially since Sept 11. It was a MAJOR set back being that we had just gotten married). I did not hve sex until I was 28 and married, so sometimes I keep thinking that my body has been psyched out to think that I don't want to reproduce and then it won't. I know this sounds silly, but I'm just a little concerned. I also keep thinking that I'm going to hit menopause early since I took a long time to have sex.
I can totally understand your wanting to enjoy being a married couple first. DH and I celebrate our 6th anniversary next month and we are just now trying for our first child. Finances are important, but I wouldn't let it be the end all that makes the choice for you. DH and I decided a year ago not to let that be as big as a factor as it was when we were first starting out. The main reason we changed our minds was because we have had a huge roller coaster of finances since we got married. We started off with no money (like most) and with DH being in the technology field we went through a couple of years where we were doing wonderfully financially. That all crashed around the time the economy crashed and we had a rough time of it for a year. We have been back on our feet for over a year now but realize how fragile it all is where money and the economy is concerned. If we let that play a role children will NEVER be in our future.
Emotional stability and stability in your marriage, imo, is the most important thing to think about when having children.. I feel like over the past few years DH and I have reached that. We had a lot of fun just being by ourselves on the way. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">
All that being said, you need to do what is right for you. So far I don't regret having waited until I was 30 to start trying.. and I believe as long as you don't wait too long you shouldn't find it much more difficult to get pregnant then you would had you tried as soon as you both said, "I do".
Thanks for your comment. I really do want kids, but I really do enjoy just being by "ourselves" as you said. We still haven't done all of the "couple" things people do when they first start out like travel. We haven't even had a real Honeymoon because we got married and were immediately faced with the pressure of relocating, finding new jobs and I was just finishing up school. So for us it's a matter of waiting so we can grow together. I believe eveything will happen in time.<p>[This message has been edited by smilesunshine (edited 02-12-2003).]
I am so proud of you for waiting until you got married! That is so rare these days and something I've tried to teach my own daughters! Just because you waited until marriage and being 28 doesn't mean your body is psyched out not to reproduce! Nor will it go into early menopause! Try not to set yourself up for failure before you even get out of the gate! LOL
I am 43 and trying for my third child with my new husband. We aren't having any luck, so far, but I have not given up hope. Several of the women on the ttc thread are over 30.
Try not to worry, ok? You'll be fine... <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/biggrin.gif">
Good luck to you! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif">
On the positive side--I married my husband when I was 22 and he was 27. We waited several years to try to have children. I conceived in a month and a half at age 28 with our first who is now 2 1/2. It only took about 2 weeks with our second, who is due in April (I am now 31). I have heard that IN GENERAL a woman's fertility drops starting at age 27, and I would have been VERY worried had I known that at the time, but what can you do? I personally wouldn't wait too much longer if I were you, but not every woman has trouble. My aunt had two "unplanned" pregnancies at age 38 and age 40 (I think by that age she should have figured out where babies come from!) so it is very likely that you won't have any trouble at all. Good luck!
Well, I wanted to jump in on the forum. My husband and I have decided to start a family. We had both felt the same way about enjoying one another. Our relationship is so good right now that we both want to make a child together.
The only problem that concerns me is that my husband just turned 21 and I will be 32 in april.
I thought for a while that I did not even want children and even joined a few childfree websites...but found that some of those people are not only childfree but child haters.
I want a family...and the concerns of being over thirty and trying worries me. I am also underweight. So I have two things against me...oh well,three,if you count that my husband is still on Navy Deployment. LOL
I am very aware of my body. I have regular periods and dont really foresee any problems conceiving. But we tried before and nothing happened.
But I hope for the best for everyone here and for myself.
Autumn has the right idea, dont put to much pressure on yourself or husband before you have even started ttc, i also agree that while money is important it shouldnt determine everything. I was told once that if being not financial satisfactorily then i would probably never have kids as i would never have enough money. It would always be an excuse.
I think should you should do what is right for you guys
Good luck and heres to hoping for all of you <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif">
I am so proud of you for waiting. That is a BIG acheivement. I know because I waited too. Don't you just feel so proud of yourself? My hubby and I started dating when I was in the 8th grade. I never had another boyfriend and we never split up. We got married when I was 20 so I didn't really wait as long as you did, but we had dated 5 years when we got married, and mind you that was through my teenage years. It was very hard and I took a lot of jokes from peers at school, but we waited and I am so proud of myself now.
I don't think it will affect your body. If anything it might make it more easier for you to get pregnant. Don't wait on money to have a baby. You will never have enough. I do understand about wanting to spend time with your husband first, that makes since. But, I don't recommend getting too comfortable with a job and a whole lifestyle of being just you and him and get into a solid schedule. Because when the baby comes it will all turn upside down and you will have to start all over again and sometimes that can be too overwhelming.
I'm 33 - will be 34 in April - and got pregnant on my first try. I'm due on October (this is my first). Just relax and don't worry about it until you have problems conceiving - chances are you won't. Good luck!
