I know this is going to sound weird but this how I got preg. the first time. At first my hubby and I were having sex EVERYDAY. Which of course won't work. When I realized that we had it every 3 days. But the way I was told to tell when I'm, ovulating..since I hate temp charts and I wasn't going to touch mucus of any kind..was when I wanted sex the most. It is a biological thing. When you want some of your hubby's loving right in the middle of your periods is normally when you ovulate. Makes sense! Biologically your body will urge you to make love when a bun is in your oven. I guess what I'm saying is if you put away all the gadgets and charts and relax you may have more of a chance of getting that baby you want. I mean I understand this a goal you all really want to reach..but enjoy the ride there. I found out if I relax and listen to my body..not analyze every function and pain...and go with things I have more of a chance getting preg. Even when I don't plan it!! I mean how many people get preg. when they really are trying?? Many do. And from what I've noticed those who are trying..like I was at one time...go 6 or 7 months before it finally happens. Maybe the stress of everything is just too much?? I don't know. But I really feel if most of ya'll laid back one full month without timeing or charting you may find you end up preg. For some weird reason relaxing helps. I know many peeps have gotten preg. with all those contraptions and charts but I thought sex was supposed to be fun. Not simply something you do on the right day under the right moon with the purpose to have a child. It is a way to connect with your loved one in a deep and loving way. Well, I'll jump off my soapbox but I still urge you all to relax a little..who knows what might happen??
P.S.I understand this doesn't apply to everyone b/c some women have fertility problems..as I supposedly do..boy docs can be wrong. But the average woman should sit back and listen to her body. It will let her know when the time is right. Then you can attack your hubby and make mad monkey love!! Also, I'm not trying to put anyone down for the methods they use.
Smile, life doesn't last that long.
I agree with you. I think this is what we must do. just relax and let it happen. I have not been trying for that long and cannot expect this miracle to happen right away. it is weird because I thought it would happen right away. I guess it is one thing we don't have complete control over. I am going to try and relax and just let this miracle happen and then it will be such a blessing
Purr,that does make sense for some couples. But even the average couple with no known fertility problems on average takes a year to two years to conceive. And that includes those that arent even trying,that just let nature takes its course.
I am not knocking your logic. But you are frogetting some things. I am one of those women with a HIGH sex drive. In other words I want my hubby all the time. He!! if it were up to me I would have it three to four times a day. Even when I am in my fertile time it is the same. So for some women the charting does help. Though most shouldnt get overly worked up with doing charts and taking herbs ans stuff until at least after a year of not using protection. I know with my second son I didnt start seeing a doctor until about a year and half after I had stopped getting the Depo shot. I knew something was wrong then.
So I do agree with your advice for those that havent been trying for a while.
I'm just curious what you mean by "when you want your hubby's lovin right in the middle of your periods is normally when you ovulate". Could you clarify? Because it sounds like you think you ovulate during your period, which you don't.
I agree with some of the things you are saying though. But if your cycles are irregular, especially long, like mine,then there are other times of the month when there is slippery cervical mucous which is one of the reasons we feel horny. And also, there are reasons for some of us to use other methods, like the ovulation tests. Some of us aren't as lucky as Whitewolf and don't have such a hardy sex drive. At least I don't know many women like that. For us, one or two times a week is good!! Especially with my fatigue carrying on like it is. And a 3 1/2 year old daughter. Sometimes I don't feel like having sex for a couple weeks at a time. And this was before I got pregnant too. And also, some of us are not as tuned in to our bodies as others. Anyway, I agree with you to an extent, but there are definately people out there who need a little help. It doesn't mean they can't have crazy, wonderful, relaxing sex quite a bit. I never felt stressed when I was taking the ovulation tests because I was having my 2 or 3 times a week anyway. If it just so happened I got pregnant - great! If not, we would try again. And remember that it's not just biology that gives us our sex drive. Psychology plays a huge role in it. And emotions.
I'm not a complete idiot..my mom is a doc. I was talking about the time when you end one period and begin another. I KNOW you don't ovulate during your period. Geez!! But I do feel many people put too much emphasis on ttc than realizing that it takes time and all the charting in the world won't make it happen any faster. I agree about the sex drive thing. I have a monsterous one!! But I seem to be ALWAYS thinking about it over a few certain days a month. I am extremely irregular and was not supposed to be able to have kids..b/c of past trauma. So I set out determined to track down every day and time we had sex along with things I will never mention. I had more gadgets and charts than a SWAT team. I was trying to get all that mess out of the way to move on the the fertility drugs I knew I was gonna need. Well, 5 months of that crap and no baby and dashed hopes..and since I'm irregular I had 1 whole period in that time(1 day light bleeding constitutes as a period)...b/c I do not ovulate very often. Anyways, I gave up..and the next month unknown to me I had a little person growing in me. 50 some odd days later I took the test and got the faintest line. And I about ran through the bathroom door so I could call my hubby. I'm just saying that I think women get let down more if they are constantly watching every month and testing(which gets expensive..I know.) I just know how hard it is month after month taking the test and praying for the lines to show up. And they don't. And stress and anxiety are not good for preg. or your fertility. I just wanted everyone to take a step back and remember the real reason to make love and to savor these moments of togetherness with their hubbies. Because the day WILL come when those little blue lines show up and your life will be changed forever!!
Once again I'm not trying to put anyone down. I didn't mean for people to get defensive. This is just my opinion hate it if you want but I feel today people hurry these things and look back and wish they hadn't.
Smile, life doesn't last that long.
First of all, you are the one who is defensive. I never said anything that was mean. I know you are not an idiot, and I never said you were one. I just asked you to clarify what you meant. There are teenagers reading these posts all the time who might not understand that what you meant was "cycle", not period. If you post your opinion, be ready for people to have a different one. I don't think I was harsh or mean in any way. I just don't think that everyone who uses some form of prediction method is stressed out. I wasn't. For some people, the only way to get pregnant is to use some method. Especially if you are in your 30's and time is running low. If I had all the time in the world, I would not have worried about taking the ovulation test. I just thought it would help, and it did. But I guess I am also lucky because I didn't have any help when conceiving my daughter (except for too much wine!). One thing I do agree with about the stress thing is that it can mess up your cycles. So if your cycles are already messed up, or longer than average, or whatever, stressing won't help that situation. I just think that there are many women and men out there who have gone with their biological instincts for many years and it doesn't seem to work. Once you feel that time isn't on your side anymore people will take all the help they can get, and there's nothing wrong with that. Unless it is creating a situation where lovemaking isn't pleasurable. So see Purrbaby, I agree with you to an extent. But please remember when you post a message like that you are bound to get some differences of opinion, and that is all you got. I wasn't defensive, or calling you stupid, or whatever. Sorry if it came off that way. ------------------
Molly H.<p>[This message has been edited by Molly M (edited 02-13-2002).]