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fingerscrossed 02-25-2002 10:54 PM

How do I handle this?
 
Okay, ladies..I havent been on the board in a while, but now I need your assistance. DH and I have been trying to conceive for about 4 months and I am now fertile for the next couple of days, but everytime I try to instigate "it", he's not into it and doesnt feel like participating. How do I deal with this? I am so TOTALLY upset and just down right hurt and I also feel rejected. I'll admit, we tried and well...to put it bluntly.. "he didnt get it up" .Has anyone had this? and are still with that person in a loving relationship? Am I overreacting? or does this happen? and why does it happen?
I know this isnt about pregnancy, but you guys are so awesome with advice. Thanks!

Purrbaby 02-26-2002 03:42 AM

Re: How do I handle this?
 
HAS THAT HAPPENED!!! MY HUBBY IS 40!! HE%% YES IT HAS HAPPENED!! Ok I feel better!! Sometimes if I try to have sex too much or put pressure on my hubby to "perform" he has trouble getting his friend to cooperate. My hubby is fine with sex every week maybe one time. Me I am like Cookie Monster and sex is my cookie. I know how frustrating this can be. Why else would I be here at 4:40 in the durn morning?? LOL!! What I have found that works the best is to be really loving in the morning before work, then call him at work(if possible) and just say you love him and are thinking of him, then when he comes home be super nice..no baby or fertility talk...and love on him. Try to instigate some action and usually this works. I feel for you b/c I'm in a slight doldrum here. Let me know how it goes!! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/dance.gif">

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Smile, life doesn't last that long.

Lori A 02-26-2002 05:11 AM

Re: How do I handle this?
 
Hi Fingerscrossed,
I have been trying now for almost 4 months and this same problem happened to us. I think it is due to pressure and stress. It is hard when you are trying because you want it to happen so bad and then when it doesn't it causes stress. I would plan a romantic evening with a candle lite dinner, go to a movie and then take it from there. I know how you feel and it is frustrating. Good Luck to you. I hope by the beginning on next month you will post with some good news.
Lori

Sweetie 02-26-2002 01:10 PM

Re: How do I handle this?
 
This is interesting to me because although I am currently pregnant I'm going through a similar thing. I wonder 1st of all, how much of this has to do with age. dh is 38 and we have never had problems in the past but recently he seems disinterested. He was recently on some meds that had sexual side affects. He says once he tries and fails it's like he's scared to try again. He's had some things on his mind regarding our business troubles etc. So maybe that is part of it. Sometimes I wonder if he's not attracted to me because of my figure but last two pregnancies were no problem in that dept. I wish I had advice but frankly I'm looking for some myself. It's hard not to take it personally, especially when your hormonal to begin with. Good luck to you and if I have any suggestions in the future I'll certainly keep you in mind.

Purrbaby 02-26-2002 10:53 PM

Re: How do I handle this?
 
The one thing we have to keep in mind(I know it is hard)is it isn't us. It can be anything from fear of failure to stress at work, or like the other post says certain meds. I know it is hard to keep your chin up at a time like this but the better we handle it the better the men bounce back. Keep hope!!

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Smile, life doesn't last that long.

fingerscrossed 02-27-2002 12:23 AM

Re: How do I handle this?
 
Thank you all very much for the support and stories. You all have made me feel much better about this issue. Unfortunately I am no longer fertile, so I will have to wait until next month.I wish you all lots of luck! Take care!


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