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Old 03-11-2002, 07:23 AM   #1
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hillarynotclinton HB User
fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

My husband and I had a huge fight this weekend. It was probably my fault. Im so hormonal, I blow things out of proportion, but I dont know how to not do that. I was screaming and crying hysterically over something that got broken. I blamed him for it. Then I locked myself in the bathroom. I cried for about 3 hours. I could not stop. This kind of thing is very very unlike me. I actually pity my husband. Everything is fine now. We talked and things are great again. We dont even fight that often. But this one was BAD. I just want this baby out so I can feel like myself again. Please, dont let me get postpartum depression!

 
Old 03-11-2002, 06:54 PM   #2
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Purrbaby HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

I was that out of control when I was preg. with my son. I threatened to kill myself on my birthday if my hubby went to work. That is completely NOT me. I did find these crazy outbursts faded away at about 4 months postpartum. My doc said I never had postpartum depression but it would take a while for my hormones to even back out. Then I went off and got preg. again. <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif"> Maybe your doc can suggest something to help you..not meds but something else. I know you have mentioned before that you are under a lot of stress so maybe finding ways to share the work that is stressing you with your hubby would help. I know that sometimes I fill my plate up too high and need some help getting everything done. I had to take a good look at my life and decided what things HAD to get done and what could wait. Plus, a good day out will help. But maybe really you and your hubby need to reconsider the way you distribute family obligations such as washing dishes, clothes and cooking dinner. I know these sound like small things but they drove me crazy in my first preg. I do hope you start feeling better. I guess the best thing to think is "you are almost done." Geez, I wish I could say that!! I have 2 1/2 months down(ugg that's it??? <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif"> ) and 7 more to go!!! All through the HOT MISSISSIPPI MUGGY SUMMER!(AGAIN!!!) Really, things do get better. Maybe talking to a close friend would help too.

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Smile, life doesn't last that long.

 
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Old 03-12-2002, 07:17 AM   #3
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hillarynotclinton HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

Ok yesterday was not too fun either.Im averaging about 6 hours of sleep a night, definately not enough for me during this time. Yesterday I ended up working nearly 12 hours! YOu guys all know about my crappy work situation. Well, I managed to hang on to my job, and I get to do my boss's job as well. But the hours generally suit me and we need the money, so I stay. Hubby was mad at me because I was near his job at one point picking up something for work, and I didnt come visit him. I was too busy! I got home at 9pm, and frantically began trying to set the house straight. I emptied the dishwasher and reloaded it, took out the trash, got my daughter off to bed, and cleaned up crumbs, etc. I hate it when it is dirty. Hubby laid on the couch the whole time, watching tv. Later he got mad at me when he realized that I had also scooped the kitty pan, but he doesnt do it enough and it stinks! I hate that too as it is in our bathroom. IM sick of nagging him anyway. I once again told him that I am doing too much and it is literally killing me. My back hurts, Im exhausted, and not fun to be around after days like this. When, o when will he take the initiative to help me out???He knew I was doing all that, but he claims he didnt! When I gripe at him, he straightens out for about a week, then its back to me doing EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!

 
Old 03-12-2002, 06:26 PM   #4
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Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

You need to STOP doing that kitty pan!!! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/frown.gif"> I have 5 cats(put your eyes back in your head) and I HATE the smell. Even worse, when preg. you have VERY sensitive smelling. I smell when a kitty takes a tinkle even when he covers it. GROSS!! But you DO NOT need to be doing the kitty box. Last time I had to move the kitty box out of my bathroom anytime I needed to use it to take a bath. Sounds like your hubby needs to understand you would be happier and calmer if you had some help. I know this sounds bad..but how old is your daughter. I kow little kids can't do too much but maybe she could lend a hand. Maybe she already does. I think you need to have a serioutalk to your hubby and let him know that physically you can't do everything you once could and when the baby comes you CAN'T do everything by yourself. He would understand better if you stopped doing everything and asked him to help. Maybe he is doing what my hubby does..he stands back out of my way when I start cleaning. he is afraid he will make me mad if he gets in my way. I ask him to do what I need him to do and then(this is the hard part for me)I don't complain about the job he did. At least he tried. I guess things can only get better right??

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Smile, life doesn't last that long.

 
Old 03-12-2002, 08:18 PM   #5
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Molly M HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

I'm sorry for you and can totally understand your frustrations. My husband and I are not really doing well now, there are some serious issues to deal with. He doesn't even think they are issues. But I don't feel like ranting about my husband on this board. I'll get too much advice!!

I have a question though. Does anyone know if scooping an INDOOR cat's litter box (I mean a cat that lives only indoors) is still dangerous? I know that toxoplasmosis is a disease that cats get from catching birds. Birds are the ones who carry it. And I know about the raw meat thing too. But I was always under the impression that if your cat is an indoor pet, it doesn't carry the disease. That's just what I assumed. I always scoop and clean the litter box. I have had cats all my life, and outdoor hunters as well, so I'm also assuming I'm probably immune to toxoplasmosis. If anyone knows if it's only an outdoor cat's disease, let me know. Thanks,


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Molly H.

 
Old 03-12-2002, 09:54 PM   #6
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AndreaHere HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

Hi Molly,
Being a fellow cat owner as well (not to mention overly paranoid) I asked my doctor AND my vet about toxoplasmosis. They both gave me a really in-depth explanation. Toxoplasmosis does only come from birds, so your cat would have to catch and eat a bird in order to contract the disease. I was concerned because although both of our cats are indoor cats, one did escape for a month-long outdoor vacation last year. The vet said that toxoplasmosis is only "live" in the cats body for a few days. That meaning your cat would have to go outside, catch and eat a bird that carried the virus and you would have to have contact with the cat's feces within the 3 days following that exposure. So it's very difficult for us humans to get. I've had many many cats throughout my childhood and adult life (mostly outdoor cats), so I assumed I had caught it and was immune as well. My doctor tested me for the antibodies last month and he said I don't have it currently and never even caught it at any point in my life. I was interested to find that out. Although it is very difficult to catch, I'd still stay away from that litter box. Hope this helped.

-Andrea
baby #1, boy - EDD 07/06/02

 
Old 03-12-2002, 09:56 PM   #7
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AndreaHere HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

Hi Molly,
Being a fellow cat owner as well (not to mention overly paranoid) I asked my doctor AND my vet about toxoplasmosis. They both gave me a really in-depth explanation. Toxoplasmosis does only come from birds, so your cat would have to catch and eat a bird in order to contract the disease. I was concerned because although both of our cats are indoor cats, one did escape for a month-long outdoor vacation last year. The vet said that toxoplasmosis is only "live" in the cats body for a few days. That meaning your cat would have to go outside, catch and eat a bird that carried the virus and you would have to have contact with the cat's feces within the 3 days following that exposure. So it's very difficult for us humans to get. I've had many many cats throughout my childhood and adult life (mostly outdoor cats), so I assumed I had caught it and was immune as well. My doctor tested me for the antibodies last month and he said I don't have it currently and never even caught it at any point in my life. I was interested to find that out. Although it is very difficult to catch, I'd still stay away from that litter box. Hope this helped.

-Andrea
baby #1, boy - EDD 07/06/02

 
Old 03-13-2002, 01:42 PM   #8
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Molly M HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

Thank you so much for your reply! My cats are only indoor cats, so that's a releif. When I scoop the litterbox or do the complete wash, I always am careful to wash my hands thuroughly afterwards. Once in a while we let it go too long before we empty the whole thing and the fumes from it are so TOXIC!! I doubt smelling that amonia smell is actually a threat to me or the fetus, but sometimes it's so potent that it makes me want to pass out! That's the drawback of having indoor cats - the litter box. Anyway, thanks again for your reply.

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Molly H.

 
Old 03-13-2002, 06:36 PM   #9
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Purrbaby HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

I love my cats too and they are all indoor but I worry about the dust from the litter being bad for you...I'm not sure why. I buy litter that has very little dust but I don't scoop it. Don't get me wrong I wash that sucker once a week(after hubby dumps it) with Pine-Sol but I NEVER scoop it. Why take the chance?? Well, I also have a good hubby who doesn't want to deal with me if he doesn't scoop it everyday. LOL!! My vet too said it is hard to catch and that it is cheap to test your cat for the disease. But he said 1 in every 10 actually have it. All my cats were outdoor cats at one time so from time to time they get out the front door. I guess I don't worry about catching something I just worry about the dust..which is supposed to be bad for you. I also feel a nice hubby will understand our sensitive sense of smell right now and take over the job for at least a little while. Or at least that is the guilt trip I pull on my hubby!! <IMG SRC="http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/smile.gif">

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Smile, life doesn't last that long.

 
Old 03-14-2002, 06:52 AM   #10
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hillarynotclinton HB User
Re: fighting with hubby during this pregnancy

My hubby is usually nice and would do anything for me. But he has these lazy days. Unfortunately his lazy days are usually on my hormonal days.

 
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