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Old 04-16-2003, 03:47 PM   #1
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apassionateloveroflife HB User
Question What do you guys think about this?

I'm new to the boards and this is my very first time posting and I just had a question...

Over my spring break I had sex with 2 different people in the same night. I don't want anyone to think I am a bad person for that...but on to my question...

I had sex not this past Saturday night but the one before that, and I was supposed 2 start my period 2 days ago, on Monday April 14th.

My question is, I once heard that your body doesn't recognize pregnancy that quick so often you will have your period if you've had sex and gotten pregnant close to the time you would've gotten your period. I may have been misinformed, but I'm wondering if I was pregnant if the pregnancy would've already caused my period to be late since I had sex only 1 week and 4 days ago.

If any of you have ever experienced this or know anything to say in response, I'm open to all opinions I'm only 16, and of course I do not wish to be pregnant. Also, it's unusual for me to be late for my period unless I am under a great amount of stress, which I am not. They are normally exactly 28-29 days apart, so if I am late too many more days, I think I'm going to get an HPT, I just wanted your all's opinions first.

Please help! And thank you so much! I really appreciate it!

[This message has been edited by apassionateloveroflife (edited 04-16-2003).]

 
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Old 04-16-2003, 04:08 PM   #2
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You would most likely miss your period. It take only about one week for the gg to implant after conception. That is when the HCG hormone is released into your blood stream. This is the hormone detected in pregnancy tests. However, though it is produced so soon, it does not increase to a detectable level until our missed period ususally. In your case you might at this point test negative from having possibly conceived so soon. So ultimately you will have enough HCG to tell your body not to have a period and yet still test negative on a test. Try a home pregnancy test, but if that doesn't put your mind at ease ask for a blood test at a clinic or doctor's office. You may have to pay a little for the blood test. Until you can be mature enough to handle sex and with someone who loves you and your body and not loves you for your body on any given night....obstain or use the pill, shot or IUD. There are enough resources out there so there is no reason/excuse not to. Good Luck!

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Marie
It's A Boy!!
Expected August 2, 2003

 
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Old 04-16-2003, 04:13 PM   #3
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Thanks for the help...hopefully I am not. Yes, I have chosen to have sex, and I have been sexually active for some time now, but I wanted you and everyone else, since I forgot to mention it, to know that I used condoms with both of the guys. And no holes/damages were present that I am aware of. Thanks again, and anyone else who can help, please do! Thanks!

[This message has been edited by apassionateloveroflife (edited 04-16-2003).]

 
Old 04-16-2003, 05:49 PM   #4
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You know, I really really hate to say this, but I find that I can't help it...WHY would you sleep with two different men in the same night?? What on earth would be the advantage of doing such a thing? And you're only 16? Please, please..think of your future...do you think you're responsible enough to take care of a little defenseless human being? I hate to sound harsh, but if you're pregnant, that IS your future. I don't want you or your baby to have a rough future. Please make sure you get all the help that you can, and please be more responsible. Sex is not a game where you win if you have the highest number. Let us know how your pregnancy test turns out, ok? You will definitely be needing some support. Let us know how everything turns out! =P

(not to sound righteous or anything...I realize this sounds harsh, but it was kind of supposed to...still, I am concerned for you.)

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-"You have a boyfriend, and I have...a baby and a Ross!"--Rachel

EDD-12/22/03
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Old 04-16-2003, 06:24 PM   #5
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Hey Passionate....

Just a guys opinion here, but you should re-think your game plan a bit. You and your body are precious. Sure sex feels great, but should only be shared with someone you love and trust. As a young woman, you must be very selective. Not only can you get pregnant if the condom were used improperly or broke, but What about the guys scrotum/testicles ??? I know of several people who got diseased from their lovers(if only for a few moments)in oral or regular sex. If a guy (or girl for that matter) has a disease that has spread to other areas...you can still get it. Please be careful, even if you can't see anything on someone's privates, it doesn't mean it's not there. Even if a guy says you're his first or he's only been with a few and always used a condom, doesn't mean diddly-squat. Please be careful and wait for a man that will get tested with you for everything before engaging in sex. Take care and if you need us, we're here. Chris
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Old 04-16-2003, 07:02 PM   #6
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I appreciate the help, and I'm sorry if this sounds like I'm trying to get smart, but I can't stand it when people say things like that.

OK, granted, I know that raising a child at 16 would be very hard, I know this. I also know the risk factors of having sexual intercourse, but face it, these days, it's more common that teenagers have sex than abstaining from it, not saying that anyone is better or worse than anyone else.

But the fact that I COULD be pregnant means that I KNOW I'm in for some deep, for lack of a better word, crap...but I have a family who I know will be upset and dissapointed but will support and help me through it. I babysit a lot and whether anyone wants to believe me or not, I know what it will take for me now and what it will take for me 10 years from now to raise a child. I know if I am pregnant I will have my baby and love it and do my best to give it a home.

Some people, and note I said SOME ALWAYS automatically assume that a child will have a rough future along with it's mother if born to a mother of an early age. That's not true. I have so many good friends at school who were born when their moms were 16, and is it the cool thing? No, that's not what I'm saying, but they turned out fine and so did their moms.

I guess when I come here and post a question like that, especially with me having sex with 2 guys in the same night, I should expect SOME rude responses/opinions.

However, since I have wished to engage in sexual activity, I make sure my partner wears a condom. At least I'm responsible about it. And a LOT of people have casual sex. You can't tell me, and well, maybe you haven't...but that you have NEVER had just one or two random hook-ups. I also knew the guys I did it with, it wasn't random. I have gone out with both of them before and seriously dated both. Maybe it was a mistake...but I knew what I was doing, I know the consequences that can occur from having sex, so I guess if I am pregnant, I deserve it. In fact, I don't see it like that. Never will I see myself getting pregnant as a mistake, whether it's now, or 10 years from now.

I will provide the best environment filled with love and nourishment if I turn out to be, and if I don't turn out to be, well, then ok.

But I will get support, and it will be hard, but I'll get through it.

Anyway, I guess that's all I have to say. I could still use some better advice considering the last 2 people didn't even answer my question, I was more critcized.

Thanks.

 
Old 04-16-2003, 07:32 PM   #7
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you got your answer from Lovelyme and I was only trying to point out how important you are. You still are only acknowledging pregnancy and not disease. I believe that you probably could be a good mom, but what if you get chlamdyia and find out 10 years from now that you can't have kids cuase of casual sex with ppl you knew. It doesn't matter if you know them well or not, many guys have diseases without any syptoms at all whether visable or not. Just be careful is all and do what you feel is right. Hopefully you won't be pregnant this time and have a chance to get a 2nd birth control from planned parenthood or something. If you are pregnant, I will help out either way with whatever info I have. Take care...


[This message has been edited by chrislove (edited 04-16-2003).]
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Old 04-16-2003, 07:49 PM   #8
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OK.....First of all, the responces you have gotten were in fact very very kind. If you think they were being rude, by all means do a search for other types of post regarding the same questions you have.

Now...on to the topic, YES you can be pregnant & you should take an HPT as mentioned above. Anytime you engage in sex, wheather protection is used or not, you can become pregnant. I have a friend with a 2 year old that was conceived with a condom and the pill. She was determined to join the world I guess you could say.

You seem to be a very responsible girl when it comes to the subject of using protection, except for the fact that you seem to think that it should be "fool proof" when it comes to STD'S & pregnancy.

What I want to add is that I realize that teens are having sex at a very early age these days and they think that is OK for them to do & I think it is very very sad. Have you ever thought about when you do meet the man that you will some day marry & you have to tell him how many people you have been with? & Then think about how many girls he has been with. Or think about when you do have children (maybe sooner than latter), & they talk to you about sex & they ask you how many people you have been with. Do you want to be able to be honest & proud of that number, or are you going to be ashamed and lie to them. And the most important matter here is the respect you have for YOURSELF. I know that you are ashamed of sleeping with 2 guys in 1 night by what you mentioned in you 1st post. Honey, we are not trying to hurt your feelings or bash you for the choices you have made, but we want to help you realize that sex is not something that you have with just anyone. I do not know if you have any friends with an STD or not, but I sure do. I have a friend that has herpes and it is very sad. She has had 3 sexual partners (serious relationships) since she contracted this (from her cheating husband) and she has had to tell them that she has herpes. 1 of the men she was dating and engaged to marry got the virus from her using a condom and he broke of the engagement of 18 months because it was too much for him to handle. Before she can have sex now her & her boyfriend have to check her vagina for any unknown sores down there BEFORE they can do ANYTHING. Does that sound like great foreplay or what. Even though they use condoms EVERYTIME they have sex, if there is one hint of a sore then they do not do it because it is very painful.
I know you did not ask anything about STD'S but I feel this is very importnant for you to understand how devistating one can be to your health & happiness.

I wish you luck & I am through "preaching" at you now. If you need us please know that we will be here for you, but just remember, sometimes you need some pretty tough skin if you want to participate on this board. The woman and our great little guy can be pretty brutal at times! ( http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/t_up.gif we love ya Chris! )

Hang in there & keep us posted!

http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Kim

[This message has been edited by Ksavage (edited 04-16-2003).]
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Old 04-16-2003, 09:21 PM   #9
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Hey Passionate,

How are you? I am not going to play like I am larger than life, or anything. I a, sure that you have already know what you have done, so it's not fair to you. But, do take an Hpt. You never know, you may have your period. I was hoping I was pregnant this month and my period was 4 days late. It finally came on the 11th. It was devistating, but I guess God said, not his time. So you can take a test now, or wait for another week. The choise is up to you. I hope that everything works for you, and that you would be more smarter. Like I had to be! Good Luck, sweetie!

 
Old 04-16-2003, 10:37 PM   #10
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Hi Passionate,

I know you must be having some anxiety right now, and I hope that you find out one way or the other soon, just for your peace of mind. You know, I'd just do a blood test first thing...I would just have to know. The HPT may not show you're pregnant so soon.

And I know that these comments coming from people older than you can seem like we are talking down to you, but you know, these are people who wouldn't have responded unless they care about you...we always want to make sure that all of our friends are healthy, and stay that way. I would tell any of my friends this info out of love. We don't know how much you know about STD's, and even new info that has been discovered, and if no one ever told you then how would you find out?

You know, I'm in my 30's and I love to research medical topics when time allows. Within the past few years I just found out that a female can get cervical cancer, uterine cancer, and all different types of cancer from having multiple partners, and/or starting out young. Really, if you look up these cancers on the internet, it says this. There are GYN's who perform LEEP procedures on cervixes all day long twice a week. These procedures laser off precancerous cells. This kind of info. isn't given out everywhere. We just want you to have the info. now that we didn't have when we were your age so that you can make good choices based on that information. Please don't take it the wrong way.

These cancers are life threatening if not caught early.
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Old 04-16-2003, 10:54 PM   #11
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Kippy is absolutely right! And, you can contract the things that cause cervical cancer even if you use a condom. It's very easy to do because they are carried on the base of the penis and the testicles, too. Places that condoms won't cover. I also heard a statistic from a gyn that 80-90% of the sexually active population in my generation and younger (I'm 22) have been exposed to strains of this. The more partners you have, the more at risk you are for many types of cancer. And even if you've only had one partner (and didn't even have actual intercourse!) if they have had multiple partners, you can pick up these cancer causing viruses. They often have no external symptoms in men or women. So please be careful.

 
Old 04-20-2003, 08:49 AM   #12
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apassionateloveroflife HB User
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I'm very aware of STDs. I can name every common STD, the symptoms, ways of transmission, which are through bodily fluids and which are through direct contact, treatment, whether there is a cure, etc. I have educated myself, thank you very much...but anyway, the good news, I am not pregnant, I started 2 days ago. Thanks for the help.

 
Old 04-20-2003, 10:01 AM   #13
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im glad everything worked out for you honey! i know it may sound like people are talking down to you just because you are younger than them but it is just that they care all the people on these boards are very caring people who will try their best to help whenever they can. when i was your age i also knew a lot about std's (im 22 now) we were taught about them and pregnancy in school from a young age but it never hurts to be reminded now and again just to keep it fresh in your mind so you know the risks. i know that it took a lot of guts to come on here and tell people about your sex life and i respect you for being so honest even though you knew you would be criticised for it but as others have said sex should be something that you dont just rush into you should love who you are with im not saying that people dont just have flings as i know that that does happen and it is easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment especially if you have had a close connection with them at one point in your life but be aware of your actions and what harm you can do to yourself by just being caught up in the heat of the moment. i am sure that one day you will make a brilliant mother but please honey just not any day soon. would you not rather have a baby when you are in a happy relationship that you knew was going to last that have a baby to raise on you own at such a young age? i dont mean to sound as though i am talking down to you and i am sure you know all this already but please take care of yourself

 
Old 04-20-2003, 02:04 PM   #14
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I am so glad to hear that everything has worked out for you.
I am sorry if we seem to be so rough on people at times, but I am a new Mom and having to think about my daughter having these fears of her own one day scares me to death. I hate to see anyone go through what you have had to these past very long couple of days. I have said a million times that I did not want to be like my mother & as I re-read my post I thought I sounded JUST LIKE HER!
Good luck sweetie & I am so happy for you!
http://www.healthboards.com/ubb/heart.gif Kim

[This message has been edited by Ksavage (edited 04-20-2003).]
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