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Old 09-11-2003, 04:12 PM   #1
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conniefolger HB User
Unhappy Help!!!!!!!!

Hello! Ladies, First I would like to say thank you ladies for all your support and advise and I surely donot know what I would do if this board did not exist. Here is my problem Well I am 13 weeks pg and this is my 12 th pregnancy. I only have one child a 13 month old beautiful baby boy who was born 2 months premature and the others were all m/c. Well I think that my husband is being rude and selfish because he is so concerned and adiment on haveing another boy. I feel that the sex should not matter and that he should be happy with what ever God gives us especially since I have had so many troubles with pregnancy in the past. This really disturbs me that he doesn't want a girl and I feel that as long as this baby is alive, well and healthy who cares if it is a boy or girl to me it doesn't matter I will love my child no matter what I have or if it is healthy or not this is my child that I am even fortunate to be blessed with. Ladies am I wrong for being upset? please help I need someones advise on how to handle this. Thank you so much

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connie folger
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Old 09-11-2003, 04:19 PM   #2
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pumpkinpatch73 HB User
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You've definitely been blessed with a healthy pregnancy after having gone through so many losses [I'm so sorry. ]

I'm not exactly sure what advice to give on how to handle your husband only wanting a boy. My husband was dead set on having a girl and I talked to him about things before we found out the sex of our little one. I explained that my concerns were that if it were a little boy (opposite of what he was wanting) that I felt that he wouldn't love it as much. He assured me that he would love a boy just as much, but if he could choose, he would choose a boy. Regardless, it sounds like a similar situation. Maybe once you have your big u/s and if it is a girl, I would bet that he would have a change of heart.

I'm sure that others will post with some good advice as well. Hang in there!

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Old 09-11-2003, 04:45 PM   #3
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I was kind of worried about the same thing - but only because my dh kept telling he knew I was pregnant with a boy. He just KNEW! And he said he couldn't imagine having a girl. Well, I was afraid if he was wrong, he would be disappointed and wouldn't love the baby as much. We went to his brother's house and they have a 7 month old girl that he played with. After that, he said, yeah, girls are cute too but I KNOW it's a boy! So I felt a little more at ease with it.

Turns out we are having a boy and he was right! But I do know that he would have come to terms with it being a girl if it was - and just remember, most girls are Daddy's little girls so don't worry. I'm sure he'll come around if it's a girl. It may take until she's born and he holds her in his arms but he will love the baby no matter what it is.

Good luck and take care!
J.

EDD 01/12/04 With #1 - Joshua James!

 
Old 09-11-2003, 06:20 PM   #4
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twila HB User
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HI I don't think I would worry to much on the situation. Your husband might feel that having a girl might be different than a boy and scared of what their relationship would be like. I know to different situations where men said that the babie had to be a boy. One even said no girl is coming out of there! Both of them had girls and love their children very much. You can say their attitude changed very quickly. The good thing is you don't get to pick the sex and I hope you have a girl to show him how great they are. Mother of a boy and a girl

 
Old 09-11-2003, 10:26 PM   #5
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conniefolger HB User
Angry

Thank you ladies and I hope that he will be able to except the baby if we do have a girl I am sure that he will love the baby no matter what, It's just that my husband does have a daughter from a previous marriage and I have to force him to call her and he doesn't write her and if it weren't for me I donot think that he would send her child support. I have asked him why he treats her so poorly and his respond was because she's a girl and he doesn't know how to act with a little girl to me that is a poor excuse and it hurts me. I love his little girl and I make sure that she gets a letter even though I write them I sign his name and I make sure that she gets the things she needs and wants. I am scared to death if I have a girl that he will treat her the same way and I feel that just because a baby is a girl it doesn't mean that daddy can not teach her to do the same things we teach our son and that daddy shouldn't spend time with her because she's a girl. I am so upset and sadden by this but I pray to God that he will be happy and treat this baby equally to his son. Thanks again ladies

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connie folger
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Old 09-11-2003, 11:46 PM   #6
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Hey,

I think you should really talk your hubby. Find out why he "doesn't know how to act around a girl". Have a heart to heart with him and try to answer any questions he might ask you. Don't worry too much. I'm sure that, if it is a girl, when he is around her, he'll love her no matter what. Like someone else said, most girls are daddy's girl. I was. Don't worry too much. You're going to have this baby and it will be around and he will be it daddy no matter if it is a boy or a girl. Congratulations on your pregnancy and I hope everything works out for the best.

(((((HUGS)))))

 
Old 09-12-2003, 03:41 PM   #7
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mysurprisebaby34 HB User
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Hi Connie, I too was also worried when i was first pregnant, my partner was adamant we were having a boy and seemed to be dead set against a girl...Anyway we found out we were having a little girl and he couldnt be happier.....Within hours of finding out, he was absolutely bragging to everyone, and still does....OUr daughter will be here in just over 2 weeks and he cant wait I see you mentioned how he doesnt pay his daughter a lot of attention from his previous marriage, Im sure its not just because she is a girl, it could be a number of things......Unfortunately some men do cut off children from previous marriages, to cope with the fact that they arent in that childs life full time...What im trying to say is it could kind of be like a out of sight out of mind thing....I know that sounds dreadful, but it does happen.....Im sure he will love your baby no matter what he/she is

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EDD 18/10/2003
ITS A GIRL
will be induced late Sept early Oct
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EDD 18/10/2003
ITS A GIRL
will be induced late Sept early Oct

 
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