heidilynn74

I was just reading some posts and I thought maybe I should introduce myself.

I'm a 28 year old SAHM, I have 5 beautiful Children. I'm engaged to a Wonderful Man. I'm a high school graduate that can't decide what to go to college for.

I was married to my high school sweetheart we married 2 months after we graduated high school. He fathers my oldest 3 children. Victoria is 10 years old and is a very mature beautiful girl. Zachary "Zak" is a VERY active 8 year old. He's my sunshine on my dark days. He always has the right things to say. Very smart child. And then there's Laken... She's my 7 (7 tomorrow) year old who is perfect in everyway. She's my big baby girl. Their Father passed away at the young age of 24. He passed away March 23, 2000 from Acute Coronary Artery Thrombosis (street term: a blood clot traveled to his heart in which he had a massive heartattack). He played a very active role in my childrens life. Victoria was just in the first grade when Jamie Passed away. Zak was one month shy of turning 5 years old. And he was 5 months away from start Kindergarden. Sitting at the school registering him for Kindergarden (alone) was next the hardest thing I have done. But Zak and I got through it. Laken was only 3 years old when Jamie passed away and I'm so sad for her because she doesn't have "real" memories of him. The memories she does have are made up memories. I started dating again only 3 months after my husband passed away. Some say that's to soon and I may agree. BUT everyone grieves differently.

Chris moved in with us shortly there after. We've been together ever since. I had a tubal ligation done the day after Laken was born. Chris didn't have any children of his own. So after a lengthy discussion and tests, we decide I was going to have a reversal. I went and had the reversal in June of 2001. Well, then comes Sept. I get a phone call saying that my brothers wife doesn't want her unborn baby, do I want the child. Without hesitation, without talkin' to my family... I said "YES". Then I hung up and thought to myself "OH MY what did you just say". I called a family meeting and Victoria, Zak, Laken and Chris all said they supported my decision. Well, we all went out shopping to prepare for our soon to be new arrival. Sept. 29th comes and a Healthy Baby Boy is born... She decided she wanted to keep him.. "Wanted to try and be a mother" I was sadden (can't lie) but I truly understood. She took care of him for 4 weeks and decided she didn't want to do the mother thing. She kicked my brother and the baby out at 2 in the morning with all the baby's belongings. He was brought to me. She didn't phone, write or visit for 2 months. In that 2 month time period she was on a cocaine binge, trying to commit suicide etc. I told herself to get a lawyer... yada yada yada. Needless to say DJ will be 2 years old on the 29th and she hasn't seen him in over a year (by her choice). So we are filing for adoption. So there gives me 4 kids.

After TTC for 13 months we had gotten pregnant. We were delighted. I was scared to death to tell Jamie's parents. NOT because I was fearful of what they would say (because they adore chris) but Jamie was and is their youngest son. My 3 kids are the only 3 grandkids they have. I didn't want to hurt their feelings or rub anything in their face. Well, I ended up having a miscarriage 3 weeks after I found out we were pregnant. We were both devastated. 6 weeks later we had gotten pregnant again, and now we have a beautiful son who is 8 weeks tomorrow. His name is Cade.

We are talkin' about having one more when Cade is 2 or 3. But we will see. I love Children, I'm a happy go lucky person, I love to laugh, sing, dance, learn, read, chat etc. I have a 2 and a half year old cat and 2 kittens that just turned a year old. We live in a great big 4 bedroom house that has a guestroom. We travel as much as possible. I'm always interested in learning other people. I think I babbled enough about myself. If anyone wants to ask me anything, please feel free to do so. And one more thing, PLEASE don't tell me you're sorry for my loss. Because in my home we say that you don't "lose" someone, you "lose" car keys, you "lose" remote controls, you don't lose people. We know where Jamie is, therefore he's not lost. We also say that God needed another Angel so he took ours!

Thank you,
Heidi