I'm absolutely miserable (rant, kind of long)
I'm 8 weeks pregnant, and hating it more than anything. I love babies and kids, but right now I really wish I wasnt pregnant. Not trying to sound harsh, mean, selfish or anything like that, like I said I love kids and want one but this is just terrible. I cant walk around my apartment without dragging a bucket along because I'm constantly feeling like I'm going to get sick. The second I stand up I get so light headed I start to dry heave. I cant go out in public without running to the bathroom and needing to sit down every 5 minutes because I'm so light headed and looking more pale than I already am. Cant leave the bed, because again, I get very light headed the second I try to sit up and I sleep literally all day. My favorite foods are out the window, and I'm lucky if I can find anything to eat at all. Whatever I do eat I would say 98% of the time comes back up just a couple hours later. It seems like I can keep sugary foods down alright (ice cream, popsicles, ice cream sandwiches, etc.) but those can only "fill" me up so much and there's only so much of it I can take. I know I need to eat healthy and more often, but it's very difficult to even think of food, let alone try to eat anything when the smell alone has me running to the toilet. When I dont eat it feels even worse, but like I said when I do there's pretty much a promise of it coming right back up. I feel awful for waking my boyfriend up late at night from throwing up, and him having to hear it makes him drive heave (cant blame him, the sound of someone else getting sick would probably make me sick myself!). I'm not trying to be a pain in the rear, but I really dont know where else to turn to; my boyfriend doesnt know what's going on and doesnt understand a lot of it so talking to him would be hard. He is supportive and says whatever I want or need he'll get no matter what time it is, and he's happy we've having a baby but right now I really dont see all the hype of being pregnant. Honestly, I hate it. I cant stand it at all. I overheard him talking to his mother and heard her telling him she was sick all 9 months with his older brother and thought OH GREAT. I know every woman's different, but with the 'luck' I have, that will probably happen to me too. Does the sickness ever end? When will I feel 'normal' and better again? Because I'm absolutely sick of not being able to eat anything but a few crackers, ginger snaps and junk food then getting sick when I try to eat otherwise. I cant even keep water down sometimes. Before I got pregnant I had a bit of a temper, I wont lie, but now that I am my mood and temper has only gotten worse and I take a lot of my anger over nothing out on my boyfriend who most of the time didnt even do anything. I'm tired of getting upset at the smallest things that shouldnt anger me to begin with. All in all, I'm just miserable. Should things get better? I'm really hoping so, I dont want to go all 9 months not being able to eat anything/throwing up whatever I do try to eat.