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Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
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Old 12-06-2003, 02:05 AM   #1
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I know it wasnt rape

Well, I have sexual obsessions. Anyway 4 years ago when I first had sex, I was with my boyfriend of a year and I was a virgin. We were messing around as we often did with a condom on, well cause I was afraid of any diseases coming close to me. Then it slipped in, I didn't say no, and we kept on going. I didn't want to have sex, but it just happened. I didnt say no either.
Anyway, I have obsessed about this for an episode about 3-1/2 years after briefly, and forgot about it. Then last night watching TV, there was a story about rape, and the people said "I think we need to think about consentual means" And then I go thinking AGAIN!....."She didn't say yes, or even maybe" they said...

So it got me thinking again. He loved me, I know it...we are still friends. It was the heat of the moment.

SO what do you guys think...OCD beating me up again?

Reassurance welcomed..

 
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Old 12-06-2003, 06:08 AM   #2
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Re: I know it wasnt rape

If you didn't tell him no and he had no idea that you didn't want to,then it wasn't rape.

 
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Old 12-06-2003, 07:29 AM   #3
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Re: I know it wasnt rape

Quote:
Originally Posted by ember
If you didn't tell him no and he had no idea that you didn't want to,then it wasn't rape.
He knew I really didnt want to cause I was a virgin....but were both naked with a condom on and playing around down there..(we messed around like this for months) .It just happened and I went with it...

I'm pretty sure its just OCD beating me up again. I dont hate this guy. I still love him. Ive had this worry before....AAH!

 
Old 12-06-2003, 02:09 PM   #4
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JenBrooke123 HB User
Re: I know it wasnt rape

It was not rape. Unless he forced you or you said NO..he maybe was not sincere or should have asked you again..but it was not rape based on what you have said.

 
Old 12-06-2003, 06:03 PM   #5
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Re: I know it wasnt rape

I agree with jen.

 
Old 12-06-2003, 08:04 PM   #6
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Re: I know it wasnt rape

Definately not rape but this could be a traumatic event for many woman. You wanted the first to be special and planned. Many woman end up regreting the circumstances of the "first time". Under normal circumstances, this should fade with age, marriage, children etc... I'm not sure if it is your OCD or not but it wasn't rape.

 
Old 12-10-2003, 07:47 PM   #7
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franjava22 HB User
Re: I know it wasnt rape

I was a teen when I lost my virginity and I really regret it. It was all he wanted all the time after that. I literally hated sex for a long time after being with him. I was married for about six years before I could fully enjoy sex with my husband. It was mostly due to my guilt and shame from not telling this other guy I didn't want to have sex with him. I think with time you'll recover from feeling the way you do. You may beat yourself up off and on and question your judgement on things, but it'll get better.

 
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