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Old 06-01-2004, 08:56 PM   #1
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Is it considered rape if...

Is it considered rape if...

1. ...the person originally agrees to it but then a little while into the "action" they say "no" or "stop"?

2. ...if the person says no and their spouse forces them to?


..................

I had to go to a date-rape seminar thing a couple weeks ago and I forgot to ask these. Silly me. I always have wondered if it's considered rape if you're married.


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Old 06-01-2004, 09:04 PM   #2
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Stranger
Is it considered rape if...

1. ...the person originally agrees to it but then a little while into the "action" they say "no" or "stop"?

2. ...if the person says no and their spouse forces them to?


..................

I had to go to a date-rape seminar thing a couple weeks ago and I forgot to ask these. Silly me. I always have wondered if it's considered rape if you're married.


Dark Stranger - abstinent
I'm really NOT sure if it makes a difference if their married or not, but unmarried couples......
if at anytime one partner says stop and the other partner forces them to have sex, it is rape.
I'd say anytime the word "force" is used then it is rape.
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Old 06-01-2004, 09:26 PM   #3
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

Marriage doesnt mean that a spouse has the right to force sex on their partner. In other words it is still rape,marriage certificate or not. Granted thought it was a while before it was legally considered rape for a spouse to force sex on their partner.

As for the first question yes it is condsidered rape if consent is withdrawn at any point of action.
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Last edited by Blastoff9600; 06-01-2004 at 09:27 PM.

 
Old 06-01-2004, 09:29 PM   #4
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Yes, it's still rape.

1. A person has the right to change their mind and ANY point during the encounter.

2. Yes, it is still rape if the victim is married to the perpetrator. At least it is in Canada and the U.S. I'll assume it's the same for a lot of other countries. The U.S. only got rid of the marital rape exemption in 1976. Even the United Nations agreed to abolish it in 1995 (don't know what effect that actually has though...)

 
Old 06-02-2004, 04:06 PM   #5
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

1. Interesting question. It is not rape as long as she is a willing participant. Is it rape if she changes her mind and tells him to stop and he doesn't? I suppose that at that point it transitions to rape, though trying to get a conviction would be difficult. I mean, if she allows sex and then tells him to stop, how much time does he have to figure out she is serious and stop? One second, five seconds? When is something that is legal suddenly cross the boundary to become illegal? It is easier to know when it is rape (he holds her down and forceably continues on) than when it might not be (he, at first, thinks she is joking but, after 10 seconds, she wiggles free of him).

2. Yes, as Thisby notes.

 
Old 06-09-2004, 07:14 PM   #6
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

If it was consensual in the first place (the actualy act of having sex doesn't last very long) Most people are usually too aroused, or too far into it to "stop". It doesn't mean it's ok, and that it's not wrong for the person to continue when the other person has said to stop, but It makes it very difficult. I think the person should have thought about it BEFORE consenting to having sex at all in the first place.

 
Old 07-17-2004, 02:16 PM   #7
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

actually a lot of times sex can take too long and the girl starts to hurt...i know there have been a lot of times where i have found sex to be very painful over the years, most of the time because i wasn't into it and i was probably dry or something.

if you care about a girl and are close enough to have sex with her, why would you want to hurt her just so you can get off?

 
Old 07-18-2004, 03:18 AM   #8
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

I had a debate with my friends about this once, and I was absolutely amazed at their responses. They all agreed that once a man started having sex (whether it was stranger sex, or partner sex), he was physically unable to stop, and a woman should ride it out until he is finished. They included their own husbands in this.

I was amazed that so many intelliegent women had this point of view. If a woman says no, of course he should stop, and of course he CAN stop, it's just a choice that he makes.

If he got kicked in the balls i'm sure he'd be able to stop!

People always talk about laws. The law say it is, this law says it isn't etc etc. The law isn't always right. If a person refuses consent before or during the act, it becomes rape.

I work as an assistant with a forensic psychologist and deal with rapists all day every day. It makes me really angry when they say "once I started I couldn't stop". UGH.

I cannot say for certain, because this will never happen, but I often wonder what life would be like if women had the penis. The penis gives a guy power, he can force himself onto someone....a woman could not do that very easily! if I had the penis, and I was having sex with a guy I would stop without question. Sex is about consent, and it's about two people enjoying something TOGETHER. As soon as I knew the other person was unhappy, for ANY reason, I would stop. And I think most women would do the same. Men as a whole are less giving, and less caring than women. This may be because we're raised to think that women are SUPPOSED to be this way - we are the nurterers and thus we have to be empathetic.

if women had 'the penis' I cannot imagine that just AS MANY women would abuse this power. Our brains aren't wired that way. Sure, i have seen female abusers in the past, it isn't that women are perfect - but in the year I have spent here I have seen maybe 10 women compared to the HUNDREDS of men that have passed through.

We had a young guy recently....he was about 24, got a very good degree at a very good university, he came from a decent family with no history of abuse. He was out one night, saw a young girl he fancied, whacked her over the head til she was unconscious, raped her repeatedly, then got a load of sharp sticks and forced them in a private area which cause internal bleeding, and then just walked away. When he came into the building he was very calm, very gentlemanly.....not the stereotype that you imagine. He said he just wanted it, he liked the power. I have heard so many say the same thing....they get a kick out forcing a woman into sex.

There are much worse stories that that! but my point is that I can't see women using their power (if they had it) in the same way.

Research has shown that if a woman is abused as a child, she is more likely to grow up to harm herself, no others. Men who were abused as children, however, are more likely to continue the circle of abuse. Women internalise things, and men externalize things. Also i read recently that female schizophrenics are more likely to commit suicide, whereas male schizophrenics are more likely to kill others.

I'm not sure what this says about men, but it's interesting that most research shows that, on instinct, men hurt others whereas women hurt themselves. I do not really think men deserve to have the penis because too many abuse their power, and I think women would be less likely to do so.

Of course I cannot say either way, because it will never happen.

What scared me recently was a study I read in a book called "stopping rape". A study was carried out in a prestigious university whereby an anonymous questionnaire was sent out to all the men on campus. The results showed that over 70% of the participants thought that it was acceptable to rape a woman under certain circumstances (i.e. if they had started already, if she was drunk and unaware etc etc). These were educated, intelligent men. But they were still men.
So now when I go for a night out, all I can think is that 75% of men surrounding me are not completely opposed to rape.....it definitely doesn't put you at ease!

It is true that it was a college study, so you cannot generalise the result to men of other ages, but I am a college student so it's especially relevant to me.

Sorry if I am being sexist, but working all day with these guys makes you kind of bitter!

Last edited by HannahUK; 07-28-2004 at 04:20 PM.

 
Old 07-18-2004, 04:57 AM   #9
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

It's rape as long as it is sex against someones will, whether they are married or not, whether they are into the action or not - also just because someone says 'yes' does not mean they are willing - for example I myself was in a sexually abusive relationship in my teens, I did not want to have sex but was forced into it by my boyfriend, to the point where I had to go into hospital bleeding and hardly able to walk.
Some people would say rape is only a woman being held down and forced to have sex against their will, which isn't the case, rape is any situation where someone (male or female) is fourced into having sex against their will, even with concent does not cancel out the possibility of rape, it just means legally there isn't a chance in hell of pressing charges.

 
Old 07-21-2004, 11:30 AM   #10
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

In some states, a person can not be charged with RAPE if they are married to each other. I think West Virginia may be one of those. If you are having sex with an individual and tell them to stop and they continue, yes that is rape. Any type of sexual act that in unwanted and forced upon you is considered rape.

 
Old 07-21-2004, 12:54 PM   #11
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

Keb you might want to double check that info. Spousal rape is a crime in all 50 states and federal lands.
I think what you are thinking of is the Marital Rape Exemption which is still on the books in most states. 17 states and DC have had it abolished but that doesnt mean the martial rape is legal in the states that havent abolished. There have been sections added by individual states that still have the MRE in which marital rape is a crime. It doesnt mean a spouse cant be charged with rape in those states that still have MRE on the books. It just means that it might be a little harder to convict the spouse. Or the victim spouse has to take the rapist spouse to civil court instead.
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Old 07-23-2004, 12:11 PM   #12
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dark Stranger
Is it considered rape if...

1. ...the person originally agrees to it but then a little while into the "action" they say "no" or "stop"?

2. ...if the person says no and their spouse forces them to?


..................

I had to go to a date-rape seminar thing a couple weeks ago and I forgot to ask these. Silly me. I always have wondered if it's considered rape if you're married.


Dark Stranger - abstinent
I would say its rape in both cases. Stop means stop and they should respect that. And married or not no means no and nobody has the right to force themselves on you even if they are your lifetime partner.
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Old 07-25-2004, 12:15 PM   #13
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

I have to say that i agree with HannahUK. I find it unsettling to hear different views on what 'rape' actually is.

Consent is paramount. By saying that a person cannot stop mid-sexual act is saying that they have no self control or free will. Its not any kind of excuse.

Also i can well believe the outcome of that study and it would be interesting to hear the results on a longitudinal, more representative study, taking into account cultural diff's too.

I also cannot see why a wedding ceremony enables a man to hurt and overpower his 'loved one' and afterwards not be classed as a rapist??!

 
Old 07-28-2004, 02:00 PM   #14
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

whether you are married or not if the woman says no and the guy goes ahead it is rape. I specially said woman because I find it kind of hard for a man to get raped :P unless the whole sadistic thing turned him on, then the woman would be confused about whether he really is meaning no or just acting it out coz it turns him on.

But anyways, if at any point during the sexual act the woman says no and the man keeps going I'd say its rape. I wouldnt blame either one but he should stop when she asks him too, is complicated really.
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Old 07-28-2004, 02:23 PM   #15
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Re: Is it considered rape if...

Miamimissy,a guy doesnt have to be aroused to be raped by another guy or even a woman. Rape doesnt always mean a penis was used to committ the rape. I am sure you understand that without me getting anymore graphic.
Also there are times when a guy no matter how hard he tries cant control how his body will react to the right stimuli. So yet again a woman can rape a guy. Also if drunk or drugged a guy can get raped by a woman and not have control over his penis. So one cant point that it is harder to rape men than women since either can be raped under the wrong circumstances.
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