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Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
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Old 07-12-2004, 01:07 PM   #1
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Unhappy Attempted Rape?

i went down to the beach to see some old friends and planned to stay the weekend. well my friends boyfriends friend (not going to mention any names), is not really my friend, but he has liked me since 1997 (pyscho). and has never gotten over me, i dont know why because i never gave him the time of day. well they came over to where i was visiting my friends. he saw me and freaked out (mind you he has a very nice girlfriend that supports his dumbass). he hugged me like crazy, then for the rest of the night he would make comments like, omg i want her or i want to rip off her clothes or staring at my privates like i was a piece of meat. Also he dropped a pen in my lap and tried to grab it with his teeth, and i couldnt get him off of me nor did anyone help me. i guess everyone felt it was all in good fun, but it did not make me comfortable. well he found a way to spend the night also there, i knew it would not be good night. the room that i was staying at did not have a door knob on it. so i could not lock the door. he expected to sleep in there on the bed with me, and i told him no. he needs to sleep on the couch in the other room. he kept telling me to put aside for one night that both of us have a girlfriend or a boyfriend. i dont know how many times i told him no. but eventually he understood. 530 am came and i heard someone open the door walk in and leave again. 2 mins later, i hear someone come in yet again. its him...he says, im gonna sleep in here tonight, i wont touch you, i promise. i said no you need to sleep out there on the couch, i am sleeping in here. then his excuse was he didnt want the dog waking him up. well the dog was in my friends room with the door shut. then he proceeded to take off all of his clothes and tried to get in bed with me. why would you do that, i dont care what the you do at home, you just dont do that! at this point i just got up out of bed and went into the living room on the couch while he was pressuring me to stay, and that everything would be fine. but i was so freaked out i did not want to be there anymore so i left and got a hotel. who knows what would of happened if i were to go back to sleep.

my mother says this is attempted rape, and my father wants to press charges. i do not want to do anything, because i dont want to ever see his nasty butt again.

what are your opinions? also i am going to speak with his girlfriend after work today, she has the right to know, but i am also worried that he might come after me. i dont think he will, but who knows...thanks

 
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Old 07-12-2004, 03:08 PM   #2
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Re: Attempted Rape?

Since he never said he wanted sex when he entered the room a charge of rape might be a hard sell in court. However, he did enter your room uninvited and expose himself. That is indecent exposure. Unfortunately it is your word against his. You did the right thing in;
A) getting out of the situation
and
B) telling your parents about the incident.

You need to docuement every incident with this guy. All this means is that you write it all down and have someone date and witness it. Start with those in the past including this one. If any future trouble occurs you can at least present this as evidence to obtain a restraining order against him. If he then continues his unwanted advances you can have him arrested for breaking that order.

You may also want to contact a local Woman's shelter for advice on how to proceed. These people unfortunatly have a great deal of experience dealing with psychos like him.

 
Old 07-12-2004, 04:34 PM   #3
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Re: Attempted Rape?

thank you for writing back. basically my dad thinks it would be wise to take him to court to get my money from the hotel i had to pay out. i dont think its worth the hassel. i just dont care to deal with the dirt bag again. also, i called his girlfriend and told her about what happen. i didnt go into detail because i didnt want to upset her, i just basically told her that he hit on me and tried to "hook up". she said its not the first time hes cheated on her. and she says she wants to give him the boot. hopefully she does!

 
Old 07-12-2004, 09:10 PM   #4
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Re: Attempted Rape?

Good girl. These guys don't expect or want their actions to be out in the open. Your future defense may hinge on making sure he doesn't get away with anything. If you let something he does slide he may take that as a sign you want him(ugly as that may seem to you) and the next rejection would then make you a tease in his mind.

 
Old 07-12-2004, 09:30 PM   #5
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Re: Attempted Rape?

I think you should take him to court to at least get your money back, I wouldnt go as far as saying its attempted rape because he didnt actually jump you or anything maybe he was trying to get a free piece of a$$ but I do think is harrassment, but do what you feel best with good luck!
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Old 07-13-2004, 07:31 AM   #6
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: Attempted Rape?

What he did was more sexual harrasment and indecent exposure i would say more than attempted rape. I'm not sure what you can do. If you have read anything about people like this any contact is considered affection to them, telling them to go away, legal action etc. Has he ever had a history of violence? You need to weigh carefully any decision you make, i don't feel the risk outweighs the benifits of taking him to small claims court to get your hotel bill paid. It could enrage him or encourage him. He obviously has something wrong mentaly, any normal person would have stoped or not even started knowing that it was inaproriet behaviour and knowing it was making you extremly uncomfortable. While legal action is the logical choice, unless it's something through the police i would really advise against it. Just do a bit of reading on stalkers, sexual deviants those types of people....they don't react the same to legal action as a normal person would, you need to weigh your choices carefuly. Now, if he comes near you again i wouldn't hesitate to call the police and make a report, his behaviour needs to be documented. I would even check into whether or not you can make a report now. Anything in his file that documents this type of behaviour is good, this way it wouldn't be just your word if he were to approach you in the future, and chances are if he's acting like this towards you than he may have or be currently doing this to someone else.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 07:31 AM   #7
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MandyAnne26 HB User
Re: Attempted Rape?

What he did was more sexual harrasment and indecent exposure i would say more than attempted rape. I'm not sure what you can do. If you have read anything about people like this any contact is considered affection to them, telling them to go away, legal action etc. Has he ever had a history of violence? You need to weigh carefully any decision you make, i don't feel the risk outweighs the benifits of taking him to small claims court to get your hotel bill paid. It could enrage him or encourage him. He obviously has something wrong mentaly, any normal person would have stoped or not even started knowing that it was inaproriet behaviour and knowing it was making you extremly uncomfortable. While legal action is the logical choice, unless it's something through the police i would really advise against it. Just do a bit of reading on stalkers, sexual deviants those types of people....they don't react the same to legal action as a normal person would, you need to weigh your choices carefuly. Now, if he comes near you again i wouldn't hesitate to call the police and make a report, his behaviour needs to be documented. I would even check into whether or not you can make a report now. Anything in his file that documents this type of behaviour is good, this way it wouldn't be just your word if he were to approach you in the future, and chances are if he's acting like this towards you than he may have or be currently doing this to someone else.

 
Old 07-13-2004, 05:45 PM   #8
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Re: Attempted Rape?

I just wanted to thank everyone for your replies. It definetly made me feel better! thanks

 
Old 07-13-2004, 07:25 PM   #9
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realguy HB User
Re: Attempted Rape?

Depending on which state, it is more of a sexual contact(the pen incident) and harrassment(sexually).Have it documented for the next time.There always is a next time until he gets caught.

 
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