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Old 09-03-2004, 10:38 PM   #1
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: llalal, PA US
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aleve777 HB User
???rape/abuse???

So, I have been raped by my father since I was 13 years old....All I want to do is move on from that and start a normal relationship but I feel like I'm missing something...I can't explain it but I can't seem to have normal relationships and tend to push those who really care about me away...I just want to be a "normal" college student but no matter what I do I can't seem to escape my past...any advice on how to just forget about my childhood or at least how to just move on???

 
Old 09-04-2004, 02:27 AM   #2
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tibbir HB User
Re: ???rape/abuse???

I'm so sorry for what you've gone through. I'm an incest survivor also. My father abused me from when I was 5 until sometime in my teens. Then he stopped for some reason.

The main piece of advice I can give, based on my own experience, is that this kind of abuse doesn't just go away on its own. It's grip is too powerful on your psyche. Just think about it, there's no more horrible betrayal than for parents to abuse their children. You really need to get therapy, from a licensed practitioner. Hopefully there's some way you can get the help you need from an insurance plan or something. If not, there are other programs that will be able to help you.

I didn't start getting help until I was in my forties and I'm still in therapy. I don't believe it would have taken this long to get better if I'd started getting help when I was your age. You may also need an anti-depressant or something but your therapist would be able to help you with that

If you go to a private therapist, be sure to interview him/her and find out how much experience they have in treating incest survivors. My first therapist was just fine until we started talking about that. Then she dumped me, which brought up a whole bunch of abandonment issues. Also, you might feel more comfortable making sure you see a woman as you may find it easier to talk openly.

I hope this has been some help to you. I care about what happens to you. Let me know if there's anything I can do.

 
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