Do you ever get over sexual abuse? - Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board

dd annie · 12-21-2004, 07:26 PM

Do you ever get over sexual abuse? I was just wondering. I was abused as a young child and just recently shared with my husband and family. I had hidden for years, and it dawned on me one day that that could be the problem with me mentally. I do not like to get close to any men, hugging any one was uncomfortable to me, and I was very timid. I was abused by my real father and my mom had divorced him when I was young but on weekends he had my sister and me. I have decided not to have anything to do with my dad, but I still feel like there isn't any closure. What can I do to put this behind me and move on?

Annie

Mecpcpj · 12-21-2004, 09:25 PM

I think that it is very difficult to get over sexual abuse alone. When you start to open up to someone close to you that you can confide in you may start to feel relieved that you told someone. This is why so many abused people have to go to therapy. Therapy helps you put the past behind you and move on. It's just such a burden to go through alone!

dinobites · 12-22-2004, 02:34 PM

I don't think anyone can ever "get over" sexual abuse. It's a very tramatic thing that changes people forever. But, people do learn to deal with it better, and learn to life a happy life. There is hope for you. I also suggest counseling. I'm so sorry you were abused as a child. I hope the future holds peace for you.

ws127903 · 12-25-2004, 05:52 AM

Hello, my ex wife told me finally after 3 years of marriage (we were together 10 years) that she was abused as a child. When she told me that, I researched all I could and found out that people that were sexually abused as a child will often times take it out on their spouses. i.e. be distant, no intimacy, mean, etc... It caused the breakup of my marriage. I tried everything in the world to please her but she would have nothing to do with me. All was good for the first 7 years. Love was aplenty but one day it all changed and nothing I did pleased her. S he would not go to counseling. She said she had forgiven her grandfather and dad for doing it to her and turned it over to God but I was still on the receiving end of her rath. I believe that only seeing a shrink or counselor would help her to not take it out on me so please seek help because this can manifest itself later in life at some point and cause damage that can't be repaired.
hope this helps

mudhound · 12-26-2004, 04:25 PM

one can never forget, but, we can and have to move on. The wife's mother was frequently having sex with someone other than her dad whole she was in the back seat of the car! I do not care much for her to this day. However, the wife seems to have came to an end of her disrespect for her mother.