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Old 05-31-2005, 05:32 AM   #1
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Question emotional growth from sexual abuse

i need to ask a question for assistance. Has anyone experienced this from a mate? My girlfriend stopped having sex with me 6 years ago and she said it was because of menopause. She has now remembered that through talking with me that not only did her mother tell her "i wish i would have miscarried you", but the only person she trusted(grandpa) had one night in bed had his fingers touching her "down there" for about 5 minutes. When we first started living together it was adult to adult, but changed to her looking at me as a father figure instead. To her it would be very wrong to have sex with dad. This she feels is why her first husband left her. Can the emotional scar be that deep to still make you feel more like a 9 year old than her age of 57? I understand how much pain she is in and want her to understand that she is not to blame(which she thinks) about her emotional way now, but the sexual abuse from him.

Could that be the reason she needs a Father figure more than a mate?

 
Old 05-31-2005, 05:54 AM   #2
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Geoff B HB UserGeoff B HB UserGeoff B HB UserGeoff B HB UserGeoff B HB UserGeoff B HB User
Re: emotional growth from sexual abuse

Yes it could stuff things up well and truly. She needs skilled counselling to try and heal from this. It's not her fault or yours but until she gets the help she needs it will have an effect on both your lives. Don't expect fast results either. This will take time and hard work.
Geoff

 
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Old 06-09-2005, 02:17 PM   #3
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Re: emotional growth from sexual abuse

I agree. It would be VERY beneficial for her to see a counselor or therapist. Research a good one who specializes in sexual abuse. It sounds like she has a few things in her past to resolve. It's time to take action so she can hopefully have a fulfilling adult life.

I saw a therapist for sexual abuse, and every day is better because of it. I was dating someone 16 years older than I and he INSISTED I get help or it was over. So I did. I'm glad he was so adamant. He was correct, with out working to resolve those issues you can't have successful relationships.

Good luck. Your wife is lucky to have someone so supportive!

 
Old 06-30-2005, 07:26 PM   #4
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Re: emotional growth from sexual abuse

I can relate to this topic in a way. I've always wondered why I acted certain way when I was growing up. I didn't realize it until I was 21 and married. I got to the point where I was being tormented by visions of the past. I've had them before but it really didn't take affect until I met my husband. I can tell you that without my husband's support I don't know what I would have done. He was always there for me to hold on to and he always encouraged me to talk about it when it surfaced. Through talking about it and facing the truth about it and also praying too that got me through it. Now I am set free from my past. I hope you can encourage her in anyway you can. Hold her close to you and tell her everything will be ok as many times as she needs you. I hope that i was a bit of help to you and I hope that you keep your head up.

 
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