It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-11-2005, 07:08 AM   #1
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 17
ClaireDE_ HB User
Major anxiety from Rape

Please help me to ease my mind, please listen to my story, it happened 7 years ago, I'am 24, just brought a lovely house with my wonderful partner, but for 7 years my happiness, soul, laughter has died. I try to forget, my partner just thinks i am generally a stressed person, constantly on edge, in pain, aggravated, i long to be happy, laugh and look to the future with him, but my anxiety will not allow this.

I have searched this web site for months for help, i find this site so helpful. Its amazing how many of us believe we are dying of a disease instead of pure anxiety symptoms! Well im another one, in fact i believe it so much that im dying of HIV, i have days off work and start to pack my clothes up in bags, my partner thinks im having a clear out, i have nightmares of my mum looking down at my coffin bairly standing,trying to speak , when i look into my partners eyes i know that i have to one day tell him that im dying and to kill the happy person that he is, when i see a baby on TV or in the street i start to cry because i so much want a family and i know that i will never be able to experience it, the worst of all i have been so close to handing my work notice in because i just don't see the point of going if im dying,but then i worry about my mortgage repayments if i do. Iam so obsessed that iam dying, ive started to write my will, write my script at my funeral, ive thought about crashing my car on the way home, but then i can't bear the thought of a police officer telling my mum of the tragic. I have to be happy at home with my partner and my best friend, my mum. For 7 years i have had this secret of rape, told no-one, this is the first time i have spoke about 'living with this'. When i close my eyes all i see is his face, the man who stole my happiness and my loving,caring nature. Im too scared to find out the truth, ruining my little chance of hope....living a lie...facing death has become who iam at 24, i wish so much this torture will stop. I hope to believe that this is severe anxiety,stress,depression, when i read the threads about people who believe they are dying, i feel so much more relief, i keep trying to convince myself that it is ANXIETY because my symptoms are the same. I will tell you my symptoms, because every little twindge,ache, feeling i get i cry because i know it is just a matter of time.

Major pins and needles/numbness in hands and feet and other places (neck)
hands feel like burning
Got diagnosed with IBS-have bad constipation
migranes
Light-headed, foggy mind,
dizziness
muscle ache, throbbing, twitching
Pains in adominal area
sharp pains under left ribs
sharp shooting pains (feels cold)
Cold hands and feet
fatigue
lead legs (feel heavy to walk/ache)
depressed
lack of concentration
don't feel refreshed when i wake
loss of sex drive
skin crawling everywhere like ants
trembling,shaking all the time inside me-ALL DAY!
neck pain, weakness in limbs
obsessive thoughts constantly
suicide
can't cope with my job although i love it (just qualified as an architect, and i really wanted to make a go of my career but ive just given up hope)
Can't sleep, get nightmares
sweating, hands clamy

Iam on 'amtripline anti-depressants' because my parents split up last year and ive not coped well at all since then but don't really seem to work, also tried beta blocker because the doc thought i had acid reflux' for the heart burn i get.

Sorry to go on i guess i just want someone to say 'your going to be fine', not having anyone to talk to has eaten away at me, so im so pleased to find this site, thankyou for your help.

Last edited by ClaireDE_; 08-11-2005 at 08:04 AM. Reason: Added more

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 08-11-2005, 07:43 AM   #2
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,105
tnmomofive HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

You should go see a therapist.I have never been raped,so I cannot relate to that,but I am sure you need to get it all out.I do have anxiety disorder and I can tell you the anxiety will not kill you.....it feels AWFUL,but you will be alright.The thing is though if you talk to a professional who has delt with rape victims before my guess is there is a good chance your anxiety would dissapear sooner or later.They say there is usualy an underlaying cause for anxiety disorder and I suspect that is the cause of yours.



best advice I can give go seek help for what you have been through.
relax about those physical symptoms of anxiety you are not dying!


take care ........Beth

 
Old 08-11-2005, 07:47 AM   #3
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,105
tnmomofive HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

I juat wanted to add after looking over your symptoms again you are also obviously depressed which is understandable........please go for help

 
Old 08-11-2005, 08:15 AM   #4
Inactive
(male)
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 161
Paxilhead HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

Get an HIV test. I'll betcha it's negative.......Then see if some of these fears subside...

 
Old 08-11-2005, 11:21 AM   #5
Veteran
(male)
 
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: DFW
Posts: 319
SadFreek HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

This may not help any, but I hope it does. 99% of the law-abiding citizens despise rapists. {REMOVED}

I really hope you get better!

Last edited by ms_mod; 08-11-2005 at 11:35 AM. Reason: While the part of your post that was removed may very well be the case, it was still an inappropriate comment. Thanks, Ms_Mod

 
Old 08-11-2005, 12:01 PM   #6
Junior Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 27
Paul_b HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

You should either get the test of resign yourself to the fact that you do not have HIV and get on with your life. You may want to consider a good anxiety therapist. Problem is, once you are over the HIV anxiety thing, you don't want to start worrying about other diseases that you don't have. Learning how to block/stop the ruminating thinking that causes these vicious repeating thoughts will go a long way in improving your quality of life. It sounds like your life is really good now, learn to enjoy it.

Best wishes!

 
Old 08-11-2005, 02:37 PM   #7
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hamilton, Ontario
Posts: 111
SushiGirl HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaireDE_
I will tell you my symptoms, because every little twindge,ache, feeling i get i cry because i know it is just a matter of time.

Major pins and needles/numbness in hands and feet and other places (neck)
hands feel like burning
Got diagnosed with IBS-have bad constipation
migranes
Light-headed, foggy mind,
dizziness
muscle ache, throbbing, twitching
Pains in adominal area
sharp pains under left ribs
sharp shooting pains (feels cold)
Cold hands and feet
fatigue
lead legs (feel heavy to walk/ache)
depressed
lack of concentration
don't feel refreshed when i wake
loss of sex drive
skin crawling everywhere like ants
trembling,shaking all the time inside me-ALL DAY!
neck pain, weakness in limbs
obsessive thoughts constantly
suicide
can't cope with my job although i love it (just qualified as an architect, and i really wanted to make a go of my career but ive just given up hope)
Can't sleep, get nightmares
sweating, hands clamy

Iam on 'amtripline anti-depressants' because my parents split up last year and ive not coped well at all since then but don't really seem to work, also tried beta blocker because the doc thought i had acid reflux' for the heart burn i get.

Sorry to go on i guess i just want someone to say 'your going to be fine', not having anyone to talk to has eaten away at me, so im so pleased to find this site, thankyou for your help.
First, of all most of those symtoms are side effects to many different anti-depressants. I have had ALL of the ones you have listed and more. I was raped at 17 by a so called family friend. I never told anyone until I was 30, when I sat down and told my mother. I was just as scared as you are about possibly having HIV. I got tested and re tested, then started getting an HIV test at every physical. Well I'm not HIV positive. The only way to find out is to go and have the blood test done. If you are worried about being HIV positive I hope you are not having sex with your boyfriend. If you are having sex you are not only putting yourself at risk but him as well. If you can't do it for yourself, then do it for your boyfriend. Also, you don't die from HIV, most people that end up with full blown AIDS will die from symptoms of the AIDS. eg. phnemonia(sp)

Protect yourself and your boyfriend, get the test done as soon as possible. No reason stressing when it's probably over nothing.

 
Old 08-11-2005, 04:46 PM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,439
WannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB UserWannaBeFreeToRoam HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

Hi ClaireDE,

I am so sorry that you were raped. And that you have lived with it for 7 years without telling anyone - keeping it locked up in yourself! You really need to talk. You need to go to a therapist/psychiatrist and they can help you with talk and meds. You need to tell you sweetie and he should help you work thru this terrible thing.

You do have anxiety, depression, stress and much more! You need to be treated by drs. Do not wait any longer. You need and deserve to be happy. This should be a good time in your life! Go as soon as you can. If you need a referral, go to your family dr. next week and he/she can refer you to other specialists. If it is going to be a few weeks b4 seeing the specialist, go to the library and check out some books on the subject. That will help with anxiety, stress and the rape/depression. Do not put yourself thru this anymore. And have the AIDS test too. Have any tests you need. Then forget about dying and just look forward to living, as you get better!

I hope you feel and get better soon. Take care. Wannabe

 
Old 08-12-2005, 02:46 AM   #9
Member
(male)
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Somewhere
Posts: 76
NotUnderstood HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

I don't exactly know how to respond to certain issues, so I will not try, but I will say that almost all of the symptoms that you mentioned, I have also experienced many days, trust me.... I have been tested for HIV, and came back negative, and even if it came back positive, that's exactly what I would have to be, POSITIVE....Think the best, try to have the best attitude, and accept things as they come.. I say take me away when it's my time...and that's exactly how you should try to feel. Life is too short to make it even shorter. You are beautiful, as is everyone else that has a good heart and soul, and I have faith that everything will be alright and you'll overcome this and move forward. I wish you the best in everything and hope you will be better. Take care.

Sincerely
__________________
NotUnderstood

 
Old 08-12-2005, 05:49 PM   #10
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Hamilton, Ontario
Posts: 111
SushiGirl HB User
Re: Major anxiety from Rape

ClaireDE, I doubt very much that you have HIV. If this happened 7 years ago you would most definitely know by now. I'm sure you've seen your doctor within 7 years.

Please read the following.

You should be tested for HIV if you:

*Are a man and have had sex with a man.
*Use illegal injected drugs.
*Have had blood transfusions or received blood products.
*Have had many sex partners.
*Have a sex partner with any of the above risk factors.

Get tested. It is a very, very simple blood test. You will feel so much better once you have it done and over with.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Rape Help justinlysol Rape / Sexual Abuse 5 11-18-2008 03:52 AM
was it rape? blue712 Rape / Sexual Abuse 13 02-19-2008 07:20 AM
It wasn't rape but it still feel so terrible terry2006 Rape / Sexual Abuse 36 10-06-2005 01:23 AM
HIV/Rape LoveAthena Rape / Sexual Abuse 19 08-22-2005 12:51 AM
Is it statutory rape? JackQ Rape / Sexual Abuse 14 08-09-2004 10:24 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:18 PM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!