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Old 10-04-2005, 01:28 AM   #1
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I was raped...

I was raped 2 nights ago... please help me.. I feel so helpless and dirty and disgusting. They put daterape drugs in my drinks... I went to the hospital this morning... they called the police and I had to talk about it over and over again...I never want to see the guy again... I don't really even remember what he looked like... has anyone been through something like this.. help me I'm scared. What if his friends come after me because I reported him... my friend who I was with and me were raped at the same time... she didn't want me to tell her name because she is only 17 and I am 18... she will have to tell her parents she was partying and her parents think she is the most innocent person ever. I am just so sad... what should I do now?

 
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Old 10-04-2005, 06:54 AM   #2
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Re: I was raped...

First of all, your friend should go with you and tell everything. I am sure her parents wont be upset that she was out partying, there is something bigger going on here. You did the right thing about reporting him. As for now, try to be safe, I doubt he will come after you (he knows you reported this, so if he does something else, he knows he'll get caught for it, and it will only make him look worse). But just in case, always be safe, try not to be walking around alone in the dark and what not.

If you haven't already, go get some tests. You want to get checked for any STD's, HIV/AIDS, and pregnancy test. With the STD's you will want to go back after 3 months too because some don't show up until that time.

Also, make sure you have someone close to talk to (or go to a therapist or something) since you are young, you don't want this to affect your everyday life, or your sex life in the future. Just even your mom, or a close friend, maybe even a teacher at school, anyone you can trust.

Last, learn a lesson from this. This is a major thing lately, and I know this happens to many people I know. Watch your drink, if you are not sure, get a new one. And be responsible for how much you drink (guys just try to get the girl drunk and do the same thing without actually drugging them) Also, know the crowd who is around. If it's your friends and people who have morals and values, you don't have such a huge risk of something like this happening. Goodluck, talk to a dr. when you go in about the tests you should get.
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Old 10-04-2005, 07:42 AM   #3
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mo523 HB User
Re: I was raped...

Hello Miku,

Let me first say, that I am sorry that this has happened to you. You did right by going to the hostpital and talking to the police. Definitely get all of your STD tests done right away, if you haven't already done so.

Do not worry about those disgusting little boys who did this to you. They WILL NOT come after you. You must keep on top of this, or else I am sure that they will do this again to some other girl. The reason why they keep doing it is because they haven't been caught yet.

As for your friend, you definitely need to get through to her. The last thing that her parents are going to be worried about,is that she was drinking under age. Their first concern is going to be that she was raped and they will want to know that she is alright, regardless of how "innocent" they think she is. Although I really believe she should tell the truth on this, if you need another way of convincing her, she can tell her parents that it was a non alcoholic drink. You guys didn't have to be drinking alcohol, to have a drug slipped in. Use that only as a last result.

I know that this is definitely scarry for you, but I am confident that you will come through o.k with this. The important thing is to learn a lesson from this. Always guard your drinks and watch the company that you keep. Other girls and women like you may also learn something about it from you. Please, do not be scared to follow through. I will keep you in my prayers.

 
Old 10-04-2005, 09:15 AM   #4
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Dani Girl 78 HB User
Re: I was raped...

I am so sorry that you were violated in such a way. NO ONE ever deserves it. You did the right thing by going to the hospital and reporting it to the police, it was very brave on your part. You will need some support, there are therapists that can help you work through this, I suggest that you seek one out as soon as possible. This was a serious crime that was committed to you, not only to your body but to your emotions and to you spirit. Just remember that this does not label you as anything. You can pull through this and you will move forward with your life.

I am so sorry again, I hope that the guys that did this to you pay for it.

 
Old 10-04-2005, 05:35 PM   #5
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miku500us HB User
Re: I was raped...

I can't talk to my friend I am scared about what she will say to me.. I haven't gone to my classes for the last two days so I will have so much homework when I do go back.. I am thinking I will try to go tomorrow... two days off is a lot in college.. I promise to keep everyone updated...

 
Old 10-04-2005, 05:55 PM   #6
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Re: I was raped...

I was abducted and I know how embarrassed you might feel but the embarrasement goes away in time. My mother did tell me I should not have dressed the way I did. I was 20 at the time. It took me a long time to trust anyone especially guys. To this day I have never left a drink by itself, I lock everything, I watch how I dress, I don't give too much information to myself. I hide all important information. So now I am alot more careful then I once was. Try to not let this jerk take anything else from you. Find your strength and fight fight fight!!! Can you get a leave from college? You might want to talk to a counselor there, I'm sure they will understand that way your school work will be ok. Good luck sweetie.

 
Old 10-04-2005, 07:06 PM   #7
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Re: I was raped...

I'm so very sorry that you were violated by that low life creep. If you ask me, there's nothing more pathetic than a guy who would stoop so low as to do that to a person. I hope you do know that it's not your fault, and that someone who would do that to you is seriously disturbed. I always think that these incidences should be reported because if the guy is let off the hook, he's free to do it to someone else. He should be stopped!

These things probably occur more than a person even realizes. I know that when I took my daughter to the doctor for an exam before college started, the doctor actually took the time to speak with her about possiblities at college and warned her to watch her drink if she goes to any parties and proceeded to tell her about date rape drugs. I think that my daughter is very aware of things that can happen though; she was attacked four years ago right here in our rural neighborhood. Luckily, she was able to get away. I'm just sorry that she felt the need to keep it to herself for a year until she finally told us about it. I wish she had told us sooner, and I said to her that I'd have definitely reported it. These creeps shouldn't get away with such horrible things. They should go to jail where they belong!

Please find someone to talk to about this. Even if you might think right now that you can deal with what happened, you just never know how it might affect you down the line. I think it's better to get counseling and be on the safe side. I hope your friend does the same thing, and I really hope that they catch the guys that did that to you and your friend. Good luck, and I wish you the best.

Last edited by comeonnow; 10-04-2005 at 07:10 PM.

 
Old 10-05-2005, 06:52 AM   #8
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Re: I was raped...

It is very understandable that you would miss class. You should immediately go to your Dean of Students and ask that the teachers do what they can to help you to catch up. Your college should have a student health service that may be able to do other things to help you. Ask.

 
Old 10-05-2005, 06:58 AM   #9
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Rumjal HB User
Re: I was raped...

<What if his friends come after me because I reported him>

If this happens, tell the police immediately and then they will arrest his friends for interfering with a police investigation or obstruction of justice or intimidating a witness, etc. The courts treat these crimes far more seriously than many other crimes because the court system cannot tolerate this behavior if the system is going to work.

 
Old 10-05-2005, 07:02 AM   #10
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Re: I was raped...

<I can't talk to my friend I am scared about what she will say to me>
Why?

 
Old 10-05-2005, 07:38 AM   #11
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Re: I was raped...

the most powerful thing you can do right now is to turn in the guys into the polics and file rape charges. Also, tell your friend to do the same. Take back your life and stand up to these jerks. They will do it again if they get away with it now. Do you want to see this happen to another gal? Of course not so stand up to these pervs and put them away for what they did. I know your emberessed but you did nothing wrong and have no reason to be ashamed. DOn't let anyone tell you otherwise. Hang i there and I hope you will be ok.

 
Old 10-10-2005, 10:57 PM   #12
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miku500us HB User
Re: I was raped...

I went to the hospital today to see if I have HIV... I am scared I also had a different incident about 3 months ago so this is what this test is for... I have to get blood drawn once a week for the next 24 weeks... I hate my life... also I just moved and I don't know my new address or my new phone number... and my friend isn't speaking to me... she screamed at me over a voice mail message and other than that I have no idea what she is thinking or feeling because I can't get up the nerve to talk to her... I have to talk to the cops and also to the university police and the university conduct board... I am so scared I don't want to have to see this guy again... what do I do if I have to see him again... I had to switch my dorm because every time I am around a guy now I start to shake... I'm so depressed ... help me... please

 
Old 10-18-2005, 10:19 PM   #13
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Re: I was raped...

What happened to you is absolutely horrible and I am so sorry you have to go through this. I doubt you'll see that guy again. I go to a college that every one of my friends go to and I never see them, any of them. College is a big place.
You are doing all the right things; you contacted the police and got tested. If you feel you are getting to the point where you can't deal with life anymore. Talk to someone! See a therapist.
I'm sorry you're friend is acting so horrible. She must be totally freaked out too still.
I know missing school sucks, b/c you can miss so much in one day in college. Just hang in there. If necessary, take the semester off. You can simply defer from school. I did when I was having health problems.
Anti-depressants might be helpful to you at this point. They will help with the anxiety attack when you're around a guy.
Best Wishes to you. You'll get through this.

 
Old 10-19-2005, 06:55 PM   #14
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tara_may HB User
Re: I was raped...

i know how you feel.
i was assaulted by 3 guys during last year's new year's party.
they didnt rape me (that is, didnt have have intercourse with me) but they forced me to do everything else besides that.
i felt disgusted and dirty for many months after that. also, i didnt report it.
i didnt want to get my parents involved. i figured that i'll just forget about it.
it has actually worked. not saying that i have forgotten about what has happened... but i did manage to get over it.

well good luck!

 
Old 11-12-2005, 04:10 PM   #15
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namehere2 HB User
Re: I was raped...

I'm sorry what happened....I've been in your situation...although I never went to the police or hospital...you're very brave and I'm so very proud for your actions. I've found help and support at another site for sexual assualt/rape survivors...you will find support and new voices to help you through this difficult time..I realized I cannot provide any other sites on this board...but if you keep searching for support on line from special sites you will find them...I did....

Last edited by namehere2; 11-12-2005 at 04:43 PM.

 
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