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Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
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Old 08-12-2006, 07:10 AM   #16
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Re: rape?

hi. I have had a class in college talking about this very subject. In some states if the girl has been drinking and the guy has sex with her it is considered rape. It is this way in Kentucky. I had this same thing happen to me. I was a virgin and was drinking. I told the guy that whatever happend that night I did not want to have sex because I was a virgin. During the act I said no...then ok...then no...I only said ok to get it over with. I knew that he probably didn't realize how I felt about it but the point is that people need to realize when someone says no they mean no. And for the rest of the people...yes..I think if a girl gets a guy drunk it is rape too...it is taking advantage of a person who is not fully in control of him or herself.

 
Old 08-12-2006, 09:12 AM   #17
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Angel77 HB User
Re: rape?

I doubt I'm going to be too popular here with my opinion, but it is out of concern, please know that. I think you are getting off lucky right now. You have been traumatized but it could be worse. My concern is your drinking habit and at such a young age. You could have much worse happen to you, not that it's deserved, but if you keep exposing yourself to these type of situations, your bound to find a few more toads, the question is, how much damage will the next one do?

You could end up with alcohol poinsoning, a kid I was in high school with died from it, he was 17, and it's too late for him. I also have a sister who was raped violently because she was drinking...she partied a bit, flirted a lot, and someone came into the picture that wouldn't take no for an answer and raped her so badly that she was left bruised and torn and although she had a rape kit done and went to the police, he was never charged and IMO it was because she was drinking and the police felt (rightly or wrongly) she had some culpability in it because she was drunk.

She was sober enough to fight back, but it did her no good.

You need to get this drinking thing under control...better yet, STOP! before it's too late.

I wish you well, and hope this sinks in and can help you turn things around before you find another toad hopping around...there are far too many of them.
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Old 08-13-2006, 01:48 PM   #18
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fiddlesticks HB User
Re: rape?

why is it that when i posted a thread, because I was confused that i was raped, it got deleted, I no it was a different situation, but its not the point, i came on here for help, but didnt get any, expect for angel, which I really appreciated it.
Thank you so much Angel it meant alot..
My Situation is still confussing and it will always will be, I am not over it and I never will be.

God bless ppl
xxxx

 
Old 08-13-2006, 03:19 PM   #19
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scaredincollege HB User
Re: rape?

well...I had only had like 2 beers..but one gets me tipsy...I was not THAT young it was the summer after I graduated High School and I DO NOT have a drinking problem...I have never gotten drunk enough to have a hangover or to throw up...just enough to alter my perceptions.

 
Old 08-17-2006, 07:52 PM   #20
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noway HB User
Re: rape?

Quote:
Originally Posted by minnesotagirl
I think you were totally taken advantage of. I don't think you should worry at all about "ruining" his life. He's a pervert for what he did. Like I said, teenagers get drunk all the time but that doesn't mean they should be subject to unwanted sexual acts.

I disagree. I woman should absolutely worry about ruining his life before making an accusation if they are unsure about what happened. I'm not trying to lessen the seriousness of rape but i think you should be VERY sure before an accusation is made. It sounds to me like this should just be chalked up to something that happened while you were drunk. Try not to let it happen again or let the situation occur again and move on.

 
Old 08-17-2006, 09:26 PM   #21
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Thisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB UserThisby HB User
Re: rape?

In case you're still reading this, you've gotten a lot of opinions on what people think, but fortunately the courts follow the law, not opinions (and especially not uneducated ones).

There are clear statutory laws, and if you are under the legal age of consent and he is over it, then it is statutory rape. In most states the legal age is 16, so unless you are under that, or live in a state with a higher age of consent, statutory rape is not an issue.

As for consent, the key item that most people seem to forget is that a person has to be capable of giving consent, and when a person is drunk, it is the law's opinion that consent cannot be given (even if it in fact was). Or at least that's the premise, actual court cases usually end up as he said/she said anyway, but law (in most western countries) is that a drunk person cannot consent, period. It's a very interesting point of law that most people aren't familiar with.

As for the comparison between the victim's state of intoxication with the accused's state of intoxication - the two are completely different. One is active, one is passive. One person commits an act, one person has an act committed on him. The law treats each very differently.

And for the person who asked if it is up to the guy to know if the girl is drunk: yes, if you want to make sure you don't get charged with rape.

 
Old 08-19-2006, 12:33 AM   #22
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barton93 HB User
Re: rape?

Thisby could not have said it better!!!

 
Old 08-20-2006, 10:01 PM   #23
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Freefall HB User
Re: rape?

I'd have to say if you feel that you have been raped you should be careful about blaming, rape is a very serious crime and if he was also intxicated it could easily ruin his life as well. Not to say at all that you shouldn't bring attention to it, if you know him it might be a nice thing to talk to him first to see what he thought of the event. I hope you find a workable solution to this, I'm at a loss of what to do if you don't know him.

 
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