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Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
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Old 11-19-2006, 06:50 AM   #1
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Male rape

I was raped a few months ago, he went to the police but they told him to stop wasting their time. Can anyone help as this is too much for me to deal with on my own.

 
Old 11-19-2006, 08:51 AM   #2
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Re: Male rape

I'm sorry, help me understand: you were raped but stated that "he went to the police". Who's "he"?

 
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Old 11-19-2006, 11:52 AM   #3
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Re: Male rape

I didn't want to apply that it was me who was raped but afterwards I changed some of the hims and he's to i but forgot the rest

 
Old 11-19-2006, 03:02 PM   #4
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Re: Male rape

What an auful thing to have to go through! I'm glad you posted the question. Rape is a crime no matter what the gender of the victim, and the police are obligated to act. I would get counseling, plus see a lawyer. Its scary to think that it might take media attention to get the police to notice and do their job, and maybe that route isn't right for you. But at least get counseling; perhaps a wise counselor has suggestions on how to get the police to listen and at least try. You didn't say if the perpetrator is a family member or lives close by, but if that's the case avoid this person if you can. I pray for you and wish you luck. You already have smarts and courage.
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Old 11-19-2006, 04:15 PM   #5
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Re: Male rape

It is important to get help with this, you dont say where you are and as rape help varies (as does it seems the police response) from place to place.

So a first important step is preserve any remaining evidence of a crime - if you have any bruises or visible injuries make sure that you get your doctor or another health care professional to record details of the injuries, along with photos if possible. Keep the clothes you were wearing (all of them!) separately in a plastic bag, and seal it up. Get your doctor to sign the seal, or someone else trustworthy, and even store them independantly for you. If you can get this recorded, even if nothing is done now maybe in the future it may be possible to prosecute. The same person who can assist you recording this information should also be able to help you or at least point you in the right direction.

Sadly male-male rape is not taken as seriously in most places as male-female rape and this needs to change. Maybe a first place to start looking for help is the local rape crisis centre, why should the fact your a man affect the help they give?

What you must be doing now is telling yourself that it is not your fault this happened, you did nothing wrong and that he would have done this anyway. Do not blame your self for this, even if you are feeling guilty about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Not your fault, Not your fault... OK?

If you want more detailed support then please post a bit more information, perhaps some idea of the circumstances around the incident to help us advise you better. I know this will be tough but actually it may help yuo to get your feelings in the matter out of you.

Did you know the person who did this to you? if so you may also be in a position where you cannot avoid them, and this will make it worse. Are you gay? (even if you are there is still ABSOLUTELY no excuse for rape) Were you in a relationship with this person? (if so I hope you have at the very least kicked them out!)

Good luck, and keep your chin up!!

 
Old 11-20-2006, 12:56 PM   #6
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Re: Male rape

I can't begin to tell you how wrong this was of the police.
Your experience with them does not resemble "to serve and protect".
Whether or not you can do anything legal about the rapist, you can get emotional help from a good therapist. Typically, they have a sliding scale, so that if you can afford it, you pay, and if you can't afford it, you don't pay much, in the US, at least. I know what a horrible experience this is, though not at the level you have experienced. I know just being groped while asleep by a clergyman has left its scars on me.
Therapy helped me a lot. Good luck with this, no matter what course of action you take. You are a brave man. I wish you the best.

 
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