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Old 12-19-2006, 07:09 PM   #1
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Unhappy Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

On May 20th I was raped at a college party while I was intoxicated. * drinking = BIG MISTAKE* I was engaged to a wonderful guy at the time who was in Kuwait. I told him I was pregnant June 14th before he came home on June 16th. I told him I was raped prior to that. I dont belive in abortions so I didnt have one. I think their very cruel.
On June 14th I went to the hospital because I was having horrible pains and I was told that I wouldnt carry the baby because the baby had pulled away from the wall and it didnt have a heart beat or any movement. The day after he came home I had horrible horrible pains all day long and I started bleeding very heavily. I went to the hospital and they told me that It looked like I had a miscarriage. I had sex with my fiance the following next day. HERE IS THE BIG CONFUSION!! My mom was upset that I had a miscarriage and two weeks later she wanted me to go to her GYNO/OB to make sure I didnt need a DNC. They did a test and an ultrasound and I was pregnant. The baby had a heartbeat. I have no idea if the baby belongs to my fiance who is now my EX or the guy who raped me. I'm here asking for advice on what chance would it be my Ex's baby. I had an ultrasound done at 28 weeks and she weighed 2lbs 4 ounces. They said she was very small for her age BUT my tummy matches measurements for it to be the guy who raped me baby. Is it possible that its my ex fiances baby??

PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME! and I hope this made sense to you.

 
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Old 12-19-2006, 07:31 PM   #2
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

Usually a baby's heartbeat cannot be heard until you're between 7 and 10 weeks pregnant. It depends on the size of the mother and on the size of the baby.

If only 2 or 3 weeks passed between your being with your ex-finace and going to your mother's OB/GYN doctor, it seems impossible for this to be your ex-finace's baby.

Ask you doctor if you need a better explanation.

Good luck to you and your little daughter! Barbara

 
Old 12-19-2006, 08:56 PM   #3
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

I don't think a fetal heartbeat can be heard before two months elapses. Even if the fetus pulled away from the uterine wall, it was still only about a month old and there's no way anything other than the pregnancy itself could be detected. I think the doctor that examined you must be on some hard drugs if they think they found a heartbeat or movement at four or five weeks.

Are you sure you're actually 28 weeks along? Also, are you sure you were pregnant after being raped? What kind of test did you take? Although rare, there is a chance of getting a false positive result on a home pregnancy test. If you were pregnant from your fiance or from the rapist, there's no way they'd be doing any ultrasounds on you or finding any heartbeats - the fetus is not developed enough at that point to find the heartbeat. At that point in the pregnancy, the fetus is still practically a cell. I would strongly suggest you get another opinion because these doctors sound crazy if they think they're finding fetal heartbeats after a month of pregnancy.

 
Old 12-19-2006, 09:23 PM   #4
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

I took a pregnancy test at my doctors office and then went to the hospital because i was in horrible pain. I wasnt sure about the heart beat either. Everything sort of blows my mind.

 
Old 12-20-2006, 06:43 AM   #5
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

Two weeks after having sex they can't see a baby on the screen, either. If there was a baby, it was from the earlier pregnancy. You may have originally had twins and lost one.

 
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Old 12-20-2006, 06:46 AM   #6
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

Here's what I know. The heartbeat can be seen (not heard) at the earliest at about 6 weeks (perhaps just a couple days earlier). I had u/s at 5, 6 and 7 weeks. At 5 weeks it was just a sac, you couldn't even see an embryo, and the doc said that was all they expect to see at that stage. At 6 weeks, the sac was doubled in size and there was a white spot about 5mm long which was the embryo and you could see a heartbeat (just a smaller spot inside changing from white to black). At 7 weeks, the embryo was doubled in size and the heartbeat was even more obvious.

Also, keep in mind when I say the # of weeks above, the actual age of the baby is 2 weeks less (5 weeks pregnant=3 weeks gestation for the baby). This is because all doctors figure your # of weeks pregnant from the date of your last missed period...you don't actually ovulate (and possibly conceive) until about 2 weeks later...but all women are different and most women don't know the exact date they conceived, so it's easier to figure it from the date of the last missed period.

So, looking at your time frame...on June 14 when you had an u/s and they said no heartbeat was seen, you were 3weeks 4days gestation which = 5weeks 4 days pregnant. Unlikely to see a heartbeat yet (maybe in some women). Now on June 17, you would have been 6 weeks pregant, and should probably seen a heartbeat then, did they do an ultrasound on that day they thought you miscarried? Then again, if there was so much bleeding, they may not have been able to see well, I don't know. Also, if you had your u/s done at an ER they are sort of notorious for missing the sac completely. So it is possible you were still pregnant despite the heavy bleed. I have heard of this happening and women still being pregnant.

Now if we consider your fiance...you had sex with him June 18. You went for u/s 2 weeks later (July 2?) and the u/s showed a heartbeat. Well at that stage, if you conceived by your fiance, you were 2 weeks gestation = 4 weeks pregnant by doctor standards, and that would be way to early to see a heartbeat. At the most, you might see a sac. The heart isn't even developed at that stage.
However, if this was the baby from the man who raped you, you were 8 weeks 1 day pregnant (6 weeks 1 day gestation). And a heartbeat would definitely be easily seen at that stage.

I also agree it is probably impossible for this to be your ex-fiance's baby. If I were you I'd still get a genetic test done when the baby is born, just for peace of mind, but I don't think this is his baby.

I wish you good luck though. I'm sorry you were raped, that is a horrible thing. But, amazingly you have a small miracle growing inside of you that will change your life. I wish you a healthy remainder of your pregnancy.

 
Old 12-20-2006, 07:09 AM   #7
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

HEYKNACK is right, with a vaginal u/s, I saw the heartbeat at exactly 6 weeks. another at 7 1/2 weeks and again at 9 weeks.

 
Old 12-20-2006, 11:24 AM   #8
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

Hello, Mandy.

First and foremost....congratulations on keeping the baby. An old friend of mine was conceived from rape. He has since grown up to become a missionary and has a wife and four children.

Now, for the matter at hand. After a miscarriage, it takes at least one month (often two) for a woman's body to return to normal cycles. Based on what you've told us, it doesn't sound like there was nearly enough time for your body to return to normal after the alleged miscarriage. I'm doubting your ex had anything to do with this pregnancy.

By the way, I will echo what some others have said about the heartbeat. It is usually not audible until 10-12 weeks along, but it can be seen as early as 5-6 week. We saw our baby's heartbeat just a day or so before hitting week 6. On the ultrasound, the baby himself looked like a big dot. The heart was a smaller dot, which was pulsating. That's the heartbeat. But that's visual only. You can't actually hear it until a couple months later.

What you said was that you went to the hospital and found a heartbeat two weeks after your encounter w/ your fiance. This is not enough time to detect a heartbeat. If the date of conception was May 20, can we assume your last period was May 6 or 7? Based on my calculations, it was early July when you found a heartbeat. This is right at 8-9 weeks along and would allow for a visual detection of a heartbeat. If it was an audible heartbeat, then I'm thinking either our days are slightly off or your baby is developing very quickly. But either way, if you were in the hospital on June 17, had sex on the 18th, and saw the dr in early July...
-your body has not had enough time to return to normal menstruation
-your baby would be too young to have a detectable heartbeat
Two very easy ways to tell that she does not belong to your ex.

BTW, you might appreciate this story. That guy I told you about earlier whose mother was raped -- he and his wife were thought to have a m/c at one point. They had an ultrasound done at 11 weeks and found what appeared to be a dead 6-week-old embryo. They went in for a DNC a week later, but did an ultrasound first, only to find a living, healthy 12-week-old fetus. The rest of the pregnancy was somewhat uneventful and the baby is 2 or 3 years old now. It was nothing shy of a miracle.

 
Old 12-20-2006, 12:40 PM   #9
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Re: Raped..who is the father?? HELP!

I admire you so much!!! Not many people would be able to do what you are doing and I think it is wonderful!!! Best of luck to you!

 
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