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happymom28 05-17-2007 03:43 PM

Sexual Abuse???
 
My 5 year old dd came home from kindergarten today and started telling me all about her friend "Michelle" (name is changed) and Michelle's boyfriends (yes, two of them).

Anyway, Michelle told my daughter their ages (10 and 7) and that one (if not both) is her neighbor. Michelle told her lots of things about them kissing and stuff, but then she also told me that one of her boyfriends kissed Michelle on her privates. IMO, Michelle (who btw is only 6 and in kindergarten) shouldn't know any of the things she is talking about. I don't know for sure if she is being abused (although it certainly sounds like it) or if she is hearing about this from someone else.

Bottom line, I plan on talking to their teacher tomorrow about what my dd told me. I think someone needs to find out exactly what is going on. I was wondering if anyone on here would think that I am overreacting by telling their teacher? Also, I was wondering if anyone thinks there is anything else I should do.

Thanks for any replies!

PinkPiglet 05-17-2007 04:22 PM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
I would definately tell the teacher as the teacher can get results with child services faster!!

WaytoGo14 05-17-2007 04:43 PM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
Yes, tell the teacher.
I would suspect "playing doctor" though...not so much abuse. I am guessing the school and Michelle's parents would be the first to deal with this, before getting child services involved...

happymom28 05-17-2007 04:58 PM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
The phrase "kissing her private" is what really sticks out to me though. That's why I automatically thought abuse and not playing doctor. I just don't understand how a 6 year old girl would know this, as well as the other things my daughter told me. Even if she herself isn't being abused she is learning this from somewhere and it needs to be figured out. A girl her age should be playing with dolls, not talking about boyfriends and sexual acts!

I am definately talking to the teacher tomorrow. I will let it be her call as to whether or not to get child services involved, although I strongly believe given what I know this will be what she does.

Thank you both for your replies.

PinkPiglet 05-17-2007 05:32 PM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
As a teacher she has to call social services. She has no choice.

If the boy was 4 or 5 I would say 'playing doctor'. However, seeing as how the boy is supposedly 10 or so - that is NOT playing doctor. He's too old for that.

luvmy2kids 05-18-2007 06:37 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
[QUOTE=PinkPiglet;2989771]If the boy was 4 or 5 I would say 'playing doctor'. However, seeing as how the boy is supposedly 10 or so - that is NOT playing doctor. He's too old for that.[/QUOTE]That's what stuck out at me as well. I agree with everyone that you are NOT overreacting. Let us know how it goes with the teacher, happymom. You're doing the right thing!

neshee 05-18-2007 07:27 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
I agree, tell the teacher. I am a substitutue teacher, and have been looking for a permanent position for 6 years now. I would feel compelled to call the services needed to find an answer. Plus, I think they have to keep confidence of you, so no one will know that it was you who "told" so to speak. This is serious, and even though 7 and 10 year old boys should be playing with dirt and bugs, sex is getting a younger and younger issue. Good luck and I admire you for doing this! :)

mkgbrook 05-18-2007 08:34 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
Agreed as a teacher myself.. this should be told to the teachers involved.. those with 7-10 year old boys as well as the girl.. they should be able to watch the girl and see who she plays with.. the parents of said girl should also be told and thus thay can keep there child out of harms way as well.

Sincerely,
MG

happymom28 05-18-2007 08:42 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
Thank you all for your replies.

I talked to her teacher briefly this morning. I didn't go into too much detail but told her what I was thinking. She told me (without going into too much detail because she can't) that Michelle and her mother have been working with the guidance counselor and that Michelle has been causing many issues with the other girls in the class (which I am aware of because of all the other things my daughter has been telling me this past week).

Her teacher set up a meeting with the principal, the guidance counselor, herself, and myself to discuss all of what my daughter told me. She thought it would be best to all meet together so that everyone is on the same page and they can take the appropriate action. She also told me that with all this coming to light with what she already knows she thinks this is a good opportunity to bring up some sort of abuse prevention program and helping kids to understand what appropriate and inappropriate touching is.

I just can't help but feel completely horrified by all of this. My poor daughter just kept saying how "gross" everything was that she was telling me. I feel like somehow she has been robbed of her innocence as well. I never imagined having the conversation with her that I had yesterday.

EDIT: I'm not sure who the boys are. All my daughter told me is that Michelle said one of them is a neighbor. Hopefully when they talk to her mother she will have some idea of who these boys are.

PinkPiglet 05-18-2007 09:28 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
Good for you. Glad they are taking it seriously and are trying to help this little girl.

JenW67 05-18-2007 09:53 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
Wow - I don't think they are taking it seriously. Meetings with teachers and guidance counselors are fine but this must be reported to DHS right away. I teach and it is very black and white, at least where I am. It sounds like there is abuse here and if these boys are participating in these actions, I would bet that someone is doing it to them as well.

I can't believe that the teacher told you that this little girl is causing problems with other kids. She is not supposed to tell you anything like that.

Sorry to rant but some serious protocol lapses are happening here.

-Jen

PinkPiglet 05-18-2007 10:04 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
But they are meeting with the parents, I think that's a good thing. You are right that telling private things about the girl shouldn't have happened.

happymom28 05-18-2007 10:45 AM

Re: Sexual Abuse???
 
Jen,

I completely agree that her teacher shouldn't have told me any of that. But I have seen a lot of her behavior first hand by being the classroom helper and chaparoning field trips. Really it wasn't anything I wasn't aware of. I am very involved in the classroom and in the school in general.

I did just get back from meeting with her teacher, guidance counselor, and principal and I believe they are all taking this [I]very[/I] seriously. They didn't go into any detail about anything with me in the meeting and told me they couldn't share with me what their next steps would be. They could only assure me that my daughter's and my name will not be mentioned what so ever. They want to protect my daughter and don't want her to feel that telling a secret like this is a bad thing just as they want to protect Michelle. I don't have any doubt in my mind that child services won't be called right after her parents.


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