It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 05-17-2007, 03:43 PM   #1
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Sexual Abuse???

My 5 year old dd came home from kindergarten today and started telling me all about her friend "Michelle" (name is changed) and Michelle's boyfriends (yes, two of them).

Anyway, Michelle told my daughter their ages (10 and 7) and that one (if not both) is her neighbor. Michelle told her lots of things about them kissing and stuff, but then she also told me that one of her boyfriends kissed Michelle on her privates. IMO, Michelle (who btw is only 6 and in kindergarten) shouldn't know any of the things she is talking about. I don't know for sure if she is being abused (although it certainly sounds like it) or if she is hearing about this from someone else.

Bottom line, I plan on talking to their teacher tomorrow about what my dd told me. I think someone needs to find out exactly what is going on. I was wondering if anyone on here would think that I am overreacting by telling their teacher? Also, I was wondering if anyone thinks there is anything else I should do.

Thanks for any replies!

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-17-2007, 04:22 PM   #2
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Airdrie, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 432
PinkPiglet HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

I would definately tell the teacher as the teacher can get results with child services faster!!
__________________
Pink

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Old 05-17-2007, 04:43 PM   #3
Junior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 44
WaytoGo14 HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

Yes, tell the teacher.
I would suspect "playing doctor" though...not so much abuse. I am guessing the school and Michelle's parents would be the first to deal with this, before getting child services involved...

 
Old 05-17-2007, 04:58 PM   #4
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

The phrase "kissing her private" is what really sticks out to me though. That's why I automatically thought abuse and not playing doctor. I just don't understand how a 6 year old girl would know this, as well as the other things my daughter told me. Even if she herself isn't being abused she is learning this from somewhere and it needs to be figured out. A girl her age should be playing with dolls, not talking about boyfriends and sexual acts!

I am definately talking to the teacher tomorrow. I will let it be her call as to whether or not to get child services involved, although I strongly believe given what I know this will be what she does.

Thank you both for your replies.

 
Old 05-17-2007, 05:32 PM   #5
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Airdrie, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 432
PinkPiglet HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

As a teacher she has to call social services. She has no choice.

If the boy was 4 or 5 I would say 'playing doctor'. However, seeing as how the boy is supposedly 10 or so - that is NOT playing doctor. He's too old for that.
__________________
Pink

 
Old 05-18-2007, 06:37 AM   #6
Senior Member
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 280
luvmy2kids HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

Quote:
Originally Posted by PinkPiglet View Post
If the boy was 4 or 5 I would say 'playing doctor'. However, seeing as how the boy is supposedly 10 or so - that is NOT playing doctor. He's too old for that.
That's what stuck out at me as well. I agree with everyone that you are NOT overreacting. Let us know how it goes with the teacher, happymom. You're doing the right thing!

 
Old 05-18-2007, 07:27 AM   #7
Inactive
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 988
neshee HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

I agree, tell the teacher. I am a substitutue teacher, and have been looking for a permanent position for 6 years now. I would feel compelled to call the services needed to find an answer. Plus, I think they have to keep confidence of you, so no one will know that it was you who "told" so to speak. This is serious, and even though 7 and 10 year old boys should be playing with dirt and bugs, sex is getting a younger and younger issue. Good luck and I admire you for doing this!

 
Old 05-18-2007, 08:34 AM   #8
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Oak Ridge
Posts: 6,748
mkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB Usermkgbrook HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

Agreed as a teacher myself.. this should be told to the teachers involved.. those with 7-10 year old boys as well as the girl.. they should be able to watch the girl and see who she plays with.. the parents of said girl should also be told and thus thay can keep there child out of harms way as well.

Sincerely,
MG
__________________
If we learn by our mistakes, I am working on one hell of an education.

 
Old 05-18-2007, 08:42 AM   #9
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

Thank you all for your replies.

I talked to her teacher briefly this morning. I didn't go into too much detail but told her what I was thinking. She told me (without going into too much detail because she can't) that Michelle and her mother have been working with the guidance counselor and that Michelle has been causing many issues with the other girls in the class (which I am aware of because of all the other things my daughter has been telling me this past week).

Her teacher set up a meeting with the principal, the guidance counselor, herself, and myself to discuss all of what my daughter told me. She thought it would be best to all meet together so that everyone is on the same page and they can take the appropriate action. She also told me that with all this coming to light with what she already knows she thinks this is a good opportunity to bring up some sort of abuse prevention program and helping kids to understand what appropriate and inappropriate touching is.

I just can't help but feel completely horrified by all of this. My poor daughter just kept saying how "gross" everything was that she was telling me. I feel like somehow she has been robbed of her innocence as well. I never imagined having the conversation with her that I had yesterday.

EDIT: I'm not sure who the boys are. All my daughter told me is that Michelle said one of them is a neighbor. Hopefully when they talk to her mother she will have some idea of who these boys are.

Last edited by happymom28; 05-18-2007 at 08:47 AM.

 
Old 05-18-2007, 09:28 AM   #10
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Airdrie, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 432
PinkPiglet HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

Good for you. Glad they are taking it seriously and are trying to help this little girl.
__________________
Pink

 
Old 05-18-2007, 09:53 AM   #11
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Maine, USA
Posts: 539
JenW67 HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

Wow - I don't think they are taking it seriously. Meetings with teachers and guidance counselors are fine but this must be reported to DHS right away. I teach and it is very black and white, at least where I am. It sounds like there is abuse here and if these boys are participating in these actions, I would bet that someone is doing it to them as well.

I can't believe that the teacher told you that this little girl is causing problems with other kids. She is not supposed to tell you anything like that.

Sorry to rant but some serious protocol lapses are happening here.

-Jen

 
Old 05-18-2007, 10:04 AM   #12
Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Airdrie, Alberta, Canada
Posts: 432
PinkPiglet HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

But they are meeting with the parents, I think that's a good thing. You are right that telling private things about the girl shouldn't have happened.
__________________
Pink

 
Old 05-18-2007, 10:45 AM   #13
Senior Veteran
(female)
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: New Hampshire
Posts: 4,202
happymom28 HB User
Re: Sexual Abuse???

Jen,

I completely agree that her teacher shouldn't have told me any of that. But I have seen a lot of her behavior first hand by being the classroom helper and chaparoning field trips. Really it wasn't anything I wasn't aware of. I am very involved in the classroom and in the school in general.

I did just get back from meeting with her teacher, guidance counselor, and principal and I believe they are all taking this very seriously. They didn't go into any detail about anything with me in the meeting and told me they couldn't share with me what their next steps would be. They could only assure me that my daughter's and my name will not be mentioned what so ever. They want to protect my daughter and don't want her to feel that telling a secret like this is a bad thing just as they want to protect Michelle. I don't have any doubt in my mind that child services won't be called right after her parents.

 
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Pristiq and terrible sexual side effects LittleBlueGirl Depression 13 04-29-2010 03:47 AM
sexual abuse luvmy3girls Rape / Sexual Abuse 7 01-15-2009 02:53 AM
Has anyone that survived Sexual abuse had a healthy relationship?? elatedgiraffe Rape / Sexual Abuse 2 11-05-2008 03:01 PM
False sexual abuse claims by autistic child autisticsis Mental Health 8 05-25-2007 01:04 PM
How to help girlfriend cope with childhood sexual abuse? David_002 Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 6 03-09-2007 10:18 PM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Sign Up Today!

Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation!

I want my free account

All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:37 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!