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Old 10-01-2007, 04:34 PM   #1
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I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

I'm really messed up and don't trust anyone to talk about anything, so I thought maybe, if I could talk to people on here, maybe I can get better?

I wonder if I have PTSD? And, if so, I wonder what kind of affects it has on a person?

I have become extrmemly ill about 10 months ago and I have been to over 300 different doctor's appointments and had several tests done and everything has come back "normal". I am wondering if SEVERAL capable PTSD life circumstances in a row, over and over and over, could cause someone's brain to literally go "insane" and start telling their body it's sick, when it's not really?

 
Old 10-02-2007, 04:45 AM   #2
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Dear Numbcy,


Psycophysiologic illness could play a huge part but without the diagnosis of a certified professional, it is mere speculation.

Please keep posting; I feel there is a lot to be shared.

Take care and God Bless.

Phoenix
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Old 10-02-2007, 05:13 AM   #3
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Numbcy -

I was also raped at the age of 17 and this was my first sexual encounter. I've never really spoken about this, but i think that it plays a role amongst other things in my current eating disorder. I think that it helps to talk about these feelings and this issue; however, it can become totally overwhelming and draining. I think possibly discussing this with a healthcare professional might be a good option, as difficult and embarressing as that is. I have not been able to bring myself to self-disclose this topic to another, but I know that I have to deal with this issue or it is going to continue to take control over my life.

I hope that this helps. Let me know what you decide to do.

 
Old 10-03-2007, 10:19 PM   #4
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

When you feel that your control is stolen, it's normal to reach out for anything that will make you feel empowered.

We are all in different situations, but we're not professionals. It's pretty scary to seek professional help, but that's a good start. An eating disorder should be addressed by a person trained to help you.

But posting here is helpful in getting out those feelings that build up and seem that they're going to explode.

My best to you,

Shine

 
Old 10-04-2007, 10:14 AM   #5
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Dear Numbcy,

How are you doing today?

Phoenix
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Old 10-15-2007, 12:34 PM   #6
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

From age 5 to 11 years old, I was molested. Not raped but just about everything else. I am now 35 years old. I have always had medical problems and always thought that it was in "in my head". It could have been as some people do have that.

But, I have been through amazing theraphy. I have gotten past all of the pain and really I have been able to move past all of the damage. Wish you lived in my area as my therapist was really fantastic.

I still have my medical problems. and they are real. I have read some of your other posts which led me to this one because I suffered with many head problems...dizziness, pain behind the eyes etc. And it was my sinus'..Not only that but because I have digestive problems...I also have acid reflux that caused my sinus problems.

Now, being raped (stress) can make your life (depression) really bad. And you could cause illnesses. I am not saying no. I also know that dr's don't think to look at your sinus'. It is neurological etc. is what they say. PLLLLEase get a catscan of your sinus. If they are black in the pictures then they are clear and I am wrong. But if they are grey...like mine were. That could be causing your head pain. And second, go see a therapist--a good one could really help you live a life worth living. As I mentioned above, I am 35 and finally found the man of my dreams and getting married next year. The grass is green after theraphy.

Best wishes
Ta

 
Old 10-15-2007, 04:51 PM   #7
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletknight33 View Post
Numbcy -

I was also raped at the age of 17 and this was my first sexual encounter. I've never really spoken about this, but i think that it plays a role amongst other things in my current eating disorder. I think that it helps to talk about these feelings and this issue; however, it can become totally overwhelming and draining. I think possibly discussing this with a healthcare professional might be a good option, as difficult and embarressing as that is. I have not been able to bring myself to self-disclose this topic to another, but I know that I have to deal with this issue or it is going to continue to take control over my life.

I hope that this helps. Let me know what you decide to do.
Well, you just told someone. That's a step; a good one, I beleive. I struggle with talking to anyone about it. Sometimes I want to tell someone, but my mind just goes numb; it's too painful and I've just closed off that part of my brain. Even if you don't know me . . . I'm glad that you're able to disclose at least to a "stranger". I know, personally, how difficult it is to share with anyone. They won't understand, or they'll judge you, or look at you like you're "damaged", or treat you differently. I've struggled a lot with disclosing the actual details of my incidence. I think we need to talk to other survivors of rape in order to be understood and feel comfortable. Someone who has not been through it, just CAN'T understand.

I will listen to anything you want to say. I do understand. I've buried it so deep that it hasn't come to the surface of my mind for a long time, but just lately it has come up a lot and it may be playing a role in a lot of things in my life that I didn't even realize were connected.

If you need to talk to somene, I will listen . . . but only if you listen to me, too.

 
Old 10-17-2007, 09:12 PM   #8
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

numbcy,
Hi I am a 37 y/o woman who lost my virginity to a rapist at the age of 13. I spent a few years telling absolutely no one. I understand how deeply the emotions run with this.

I've had other traumatic incidents in life too since and I am in therapy now but for panic and anxiety disorder and I haven't brought it up to her yet and who knows if or when I will. I have told her some of the other issues in my past and she mentioned PTSD so I don't know maybe that's an issue for me as well. We started sessions not long ago and there is a lot to cover I guess.

I have been able just over the last couple years to talk about it more openly and it is better to do that and to talk with others who understand.

Try if you can to talk about it and get out your feelings and emotions. It is important to begin to heal. If you can, find a good counselor to help you.

 
Old 10-20-2007, 01:34 AM   #9
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Numbcy -

thanks for the reply and for your encouraging words. It is so amazing how people can relate to each other's pain and traumatic experiences. I will definately be here to support and to listen to you. Just by reading you posts I felt as though I was not so alone.

Thanks for caring about me.

 
Old 11-02-2007, 03:51 AM   #10
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Dear scarlet,

Know that we are out there and care about each others well being here.

Take care of yourself.

Respectfully,

Phoenix
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Old 11-03-2007, 07:57 AM   #11
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Quote:
Originally Posted by scarletknight33 View Post
Numbcy -

thanks for the reply and for your encouraging words. It is so amazing how people can relate to each other's pain and traumatic experiences. I will definately be here to support and to listen to you. Just by reading you posts I felt as though I was not so alone.

Thanks for caring about me.

I DO care . . . I definitely do. It's the least I can do. I wish someone would have done it for me; cared about me . . . and what happened to me. My parent's knew what happened and told me not to talk about it because it made their family "look bad". I was SO ALONE.

I have SO MUCH to talk about I don't even know where to start!

I am currently seeking a therapist. I think it is time I get this out of me. I need to learn to trust someone. It has proven to be one of the most difficult things to do. I have seen therapists before, but I told them that I never had any sexual abuse. I think I'm ready to tell. I NEED to tell. Because I am very physcially ill and if my rape is playing a part in that, if some how the psychological is associated with the physical, then I NEED to know. Because I am so ill now that I can't even lead a normal life. No doctors have been able to find the source of my illness and it's been a year now since I could even drive to get to work! I am very physically ill.

 
Old 11-04-2007, 01:43 AM   #12
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Re: I lost my virginity to a rape when I was 13

Numbcy -

I definately think that there is a connection between your feelings and physical symptoms. The unresolved emotional issues can surface through physical means. I think that if you are ready to tell a mental health pofessional then I would. I think that takes a lot of credit and shows how strong and brave of a person you are. I often try to think to myself that I'm only as sick as my secrets. There is definately truth to that, but it is scary to divulge those secrets.

I hope that all works out for you. I'll be here to listen and support.

 
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