It appears you have not yet Signed Up with our community. To Sign Up for free, please click here....



Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
Post New Thread   Closed Thread
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 09-24-2009, 12:36 PM   #1
Newbie
(female)
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: London
Posts: 1
tarinatalo HB User
Im scared about Hiv after rape

Hi,

My story :

Last Friday I was raped.

The reason was, that I was so drunk that I made the biggest mistake in my life by going to a strangers house. There I woke up in the morning when he was having sex with me.
We had fallen asleep in different rooms ( cause there was nothing going on between us!), so he must have woken up and come into the room I was sleeping in and started to rape me..

I have heard these kind of stories happening to girls before ,but I have allways thought that I would wake up if somebody would try to do something to me.

And now I can say, that you don't allways wake up. I remember having a dream that somebody is having sex with me and in the dream I started to feel good, and then I realised that it is actually really happening. I was in that deep sleep that it took me some seconds atleast to get my eyes open, and when I saw him having sex with me, I cant even discribe the shock. I mean, I almost died! Luckily he stopped when I pushed him away immediatly, and I got up and left.

Since then I have been haunted by the thoughts that how long did he have sex with me? Did he maybe drug me ( He offered a few drinks at his home) and that's why I hadn't woken up? Is he a "professional" raper??

All these horrible thoughts are tormenting me and on top of these there is the fear of diseases..

I blame myself ofcourse for "setting the table" to this raper and he only had to come for dinner. But at the same time, I know that what he did is so wrong and I have given a criminal report to the police. He will be procecuted.

However the thing is, I am more than terrified that he might have infected me with Hiv, or hepatite C. Other diseases are cureable so I can take them, but these two..

I have never had unprotected sex in my life because I am so scared about diseases.

I'm not here to ask for sympathy, but to talk about Hiv and these fears that I am now dealing with constantly in my head.

If there are people who are living with the same fear, I would love to share thoughts and stories with you. And also if there is people who have Hiv, I would really apprechiate it if you could tell me about what is it living with the disease, how you have learned to cope , and how did you get infected? Also if there is anybody here who have been sexually assaulted, I would like to share feelings too..

I have promised myself that if I survive this incident with a scare, I am going to help people who go trought these kind of things and also live my life to the maximum.

I have allways been a person who is careful ( expesially with sex!) and now one drunken night might have "ruined" my life . It all just feels unbeliveable, but makes me realise how fragile life, and health is..

These next 3months in my life will be the hardest, ( untill I get a sure test result) and I don't thik I can cope without having people who I can share feelings with. My friends keep telling me that I don't have Hiv and that Im scared of nothing, and are getting tired of listening to me, but obviously I can't get over this just like that as the fear is killing me..

Thank you for any answers or thoughts, and I wish you all strenght and happiness.

xx

 
Sponsors Lightbulb
   
Closed Thread

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Board Replies Last Post
Girlfriend and Rape floridasfinest Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill 23 09-11-2011 09:36 PM
Can a woman rape a man? kewlgirl Mental Health 10 09-03-2009 05:38 AM
Rape Help justinlysol Rape / Sexual Abuse 5 11-18-2008 03:52 AM
was it rape? blue712 Rape / Sexual Abuse 13 02-19-2008 07:20 AM
Recently raped and very scared... Heavensent102 Rape / Sexual Abuse 20 12-04-2004 09:15 AM




Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




Join Our Newsletter

Stay healthy through tips curated by our health experts.

Whoops,

There was a problem adding your email Try again

Thank You

Your email has been added








TOP THANKED CONTRIBUTORS



Phoenix (4), jade680 (2), JamiJames123 (1), babyjane30 (1), Nyret (1), Sachimi (1), Dee Brown (1), mindscape (1), Esis (1), rosequartz (1)

Site Wide Totals

teteri66 (1165), MSJayhawk (1000), Apollo123 (898), Titchou (833), janewhite1 (823), Gabriel (758), ladybud (747), sammy64 (668), midwest1 (665), BlueSkies14 (610)



All times are GMT -7. The time now is 08:56 AM.



Site owned and operated by HealthBoards.comô
Terms of Use © 1998-2014 HealthBoards.comô All rights reserved.
Do not copy or redistribute in any form!