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Old 11-11-2010, 01:22 PM   #1
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Perplexed.

I'm a 27 yr old man dating a woman, 26 yrs old. My girlfriend was pimped out as a child, and raped on 4 separate occasions since the age of 13. That in itself is very horrible, however I have her back in her struggle to conqueor her demons. She has been diagnosed Bi-Polar with Hypermanicism and is currently seeing 3 therapists to try and help her. We have sex once every Haley's Comet sighting, though more recently she has been trying to be more intimate. I have noticed somethings about her behavior though. She is a horrendous liar, I have caught her in more lies than I can count. She doesn't understand that when you lie, people have a hard time believing anything afterwards and they question anything before then. She informed me about 2 months ago that she was pregnant. Its very hard for me to believe her due to the amount lies she has told. She also hasn't given me any proof what-so-ever that this is in fact true. Yesterday, she told me that her Doctor violated her during her vaginal exam and that he used fingers and performed oral sex on her. I was furious about it of course, yet the whole time she remained calm, which further plexed my mind. She says she is used to being molested and raped, and that confuses the hell out of me. Yet in the back of my mind, I can't help but feel the thought that its a lie. I know she is a liar, drama queen and an attention freak, but I dont want to be the a**hole that may turn his back on her if this is true. When things happen (including the pregnancy) and I suggest coming over to be with her, you would think that I offered to sell her some drugs in front of a police station. We have been dating for almost a year now, seeing each other most of every day, but I am still unwelcome to be with her at her house when she is stressed (i've never been). I kept hearing this guy in the background but she says it's her gay neighbor (who always is over)...Will someone please tell me what the hell have I gotten myself into?

 
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Old 11-11-2010, 01:31 PM   #2
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Re: Perplexed.

sounds like you've gotten yourself into a mess!
do you really have the patience and the time to take on such an enormous project?

 
Old 11-11-2010, 02:41 PM   #3
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Re: Perplexed.

Ms. Rosequartz, at first I thought I was mentally prepared, and spiritually ready to give it all I have. After nearly a year though, I find myself feeling more defeated, it hurts. I love the ground she walks on, and I do everything humanly possible to not disappoint her or make her feel unloved. If the pregnancy is fake, it would crush me. The reason why I have stayed this long was to prepare myself to be an ideal father to our children. I had both my parents coming up and I wouldn't dare to subject anyone of my DNA to having anything less. But all in all, its just starting to overwhelm me, and I just don't know whats real or fake anymore.

 
Old 11-11-2010, 07:31 PM   #4
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Re: Perplexed.

your intentions are good but if she isn't pregnant, please do everything you can to prevent that from happening. You might be a great father, but she won't be a good mother, she's not emotionally healthy enough. If you get into that situation you will definately regret it. As much as you want to, you can't fix her.

 
Old 11-12-2010, 12:48 AM   #5
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Re: Perplexed.

Dear jgking

You seem like a very good man with his heart and morals all in the right place.
Its rare to find a man that will stick with a woman with all these issues and I commend you for not abandoning her because of her past.
That said, you also have a responsibility towards your own mental health and future children, i agree with rosequartz if she is not pregnant, please dont let that happen yet, as I also dont think she is emotionally ready.
The whole gay neighbour thing, i dont buy..(t mite be true) but you said yourself she lies alot, so I think you need to be a 100% sure about everything before you totally commit to something as serious as bringing a life into this world. Go over and make sure and also maybe ask if you could attend some therapy sessions with her. Some therapists encourage partners to be there, so maybe try that and also be firm about getting a pregnancy test done. I feel sorry for her past but there also comes a time in life where we need to move on and stop blaming our pasts for our present mistakes.
All the best

 
Old 11-12-2010, 06:40 AM   #6
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Re: Perplexed.

jgking....one more thing, IF she turns up pregnant, insist on a DNA test.....I'm not convinced that you would be the father.....it could be the "gay" neighbor

 
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