You need to see a councellor and talk it through. My brother did that, he went to a councellor and found that in order to move on he needed to go to the police and file a report. He needed to make it 'official', and know that something was going to happen about it. This was how he got closure.
I'm not saying that you need to go to the police, but you do need to go to an independant person and talk it through. They will help you to understand what you need to do to move on with your life.
Your life is not a black hole, you can get past this. You just need the right support. Go to your doctor and ask for help, ask for councellors specialising in this kind of abuse and you will get through and you will make those friendships you long for.
The following user gives a hug of support to Basswife: BradinCA (11-13-2010)
The Following User Says Thank You to Basswife For This Useful Post: BradinCA (11-13-2010)
I am so depressed. My life is one big black hole, and I have tried everything to move on... but nothing seems to work.
I push everyone away due to what happened to me as a child, but I want nothing more than friends. How can I open up to people and heal from this?
If you have tried a really good therapist(really hard to find), you might try volunteering I know it sounds odd for someone who is in such pain and wants no contact with others but you would pick the place and amount of volunteer work. That would put you in control and helping others, even if it is in a non-contact position (doing yardwork at a shelter, or semi-contact position like answering the phone) might make you feel better and see the pain in others which might help with the isolation. Maybe try an anonymous support group if you cannot locate an amazing therapist(hard to find).
The following user gives a hug of support to cejs2003: BradinCA (11-13-2010)
Firstly you need to try and forgive for whatever has happened to you as a child was not your fault. Meditate and ask God for guidance, take time to heal. Write down your feelings in a journal or diary, whatever you feel, let it out.
I am a guy who was molested as a child... 
