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Old 06-14-2011, 01:55 PM   #1
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is this sexual abuse?

About a year ago me and my boyfriend were messing around untill he proceeded to pin me down beneath him and beg for me to touch him or give him oral sex, he continued to say that if i didn't he wouldn't love me and would never kiss me again and wouldn't take no for an answer, he then literally began begging, and this really scared me. Am i over reacting or is this really sexual abuse?

Afew months after this i was in a taxi after a night out. I was with with 3 strange boys i had never met before (admittedly not the best idea) the eldest of the boys (probably about 18) dragged me into the back of the taxi and began putting his hands all over me, uncluding my private areas. He then grabbed my face and pretty much shoved his tongue down my throat, i told him to get off me but his grip around my face just got tighter.

Later that night he left, as he did so his friend jumped straight ontop of me. At this point i was feeling really pathetic, i decided that i couldn't physically and mentally manage to get him off me after i had tried so hard with the boys before, so i let him carry on without saying anything, i did not do anything back. He later asked me if i would have sex with him but i told him i didn't want to but afew minutes later he put it in anyway, without asking me. of course i told him to stop and he did with some persuading. is this sexual abuse or am i being pathetic?

Last edited by Administrator; 06-14-2011 at 02:40 PM.

 
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Old 06-14-2011, 04:04 PM   #2
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Re: is this sexual abuse?

Hello 123,

The thing here is not to blame yourself but be fortunate that you don't have any STD's...(have you been tested?)

Please try and learn from the mistakes made.

Sincerely stated,
Phoenix
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Old 06-22-2011, 12:38 PM   #3
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Re: is this sexual abuse?

but do you think this was sexual abuse? it's really been bugging me for years.

 
Old 06-22-2011, 01:47 PM   #4
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Re: is this sexual abuse?

I would definitely say that is sexual abuse! You should not have anything done to you if you do not want it done. Your boyfriend using mind games to get sexual favors is sexal abuse. Those boys may have been intoxicated, you may have been intoxicated, but that is not an excuse and no one should put their hands where they are not wanted! I have been in a situation where I didn't fight to the fullest and it took me a long time to convince myself that it was abuse. You are in no way pathetic, never let yourself think that. Keep your head up!

 
Old 06-30-2011, 02:17 PM   #5
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Re: is this sexual abuse?

Sexual abuse involves a threatening older person who is usually a trusted person to the victim, forcing him or herself on a smaller and or younger person who feels that have no choice or control or is so young they don't know that what is being done is inappropriate.

What you are describing is attempted date rape.

Jenny

 
Old 07-01-2011, 10:02 AM   #6
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Re: is this sexual abuse?

I think technically it doesn't qualify as 'abuse' because the word 'abuse' in this context implies that it goes on repeatedly and/or regularly, which in your situations wasn't the case.

What you can call it though is 'assault'. You were definitely sexually assaulted. No question.

(btw, abuse doesn't have to involve an older or bigger person, that's much too narrow a definition)

 
Old 11-05-2011, 02:24 PM   #7
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Re: is this sexual abuse?

Yes it is abuse, and the last one is rape. I am so sorry that happened to you.

 
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