hi guys!!
im feelin really sad infact hurt, here's what happened..me and my friend were out chilin she got this phone call from her b/f saying he wants to meet her etc..so we went to his flat (condo). When we got there afew of his friends were there and one of them was his brother. His friend (the brother) kept telling me he wanted me and really liked but i wasnt interested...
After we chilled, eat something the guys (my friends b/f and his brother) treat us to watch a basketball match, his brother paid for me. Anyway when that was finshed, my friend wanted to go back to her b/f flat and chill, and the other guy litterally begged me to come to. I knew it was getting late but i thought what the hell and went with them. anyway were walking on the street his putting his arm around me, telling me he wants to be my man etc...but i told him im not interesting plus i like someone else (stupid move)..
When we arrived at the flat (condo)i decided to phone my friend (the other guy that i liked)i think he must of been upset, but i didnt really care...then he said he wanted to talk to me in the other room so i went...he lied we didnt talk...he turn the light OFF! and started kissing me, touching me..then me told me to take my hoodie off, so he could get more comfortable so i did...we carried on kissing then he wanted me to lower my panties and pants. By then i didnt want to do anything else b/c i didnt like him. He was lying on top of me and forcing on me...he keep fingering me i told him to stop ..but he just keep telling me to shut up. I could sort of feel him getting his penis out. I begged him to stop and stop b/c he was hurting me and i didnt want to...but he didnt...and kept telling me to stop and keep holding me down...now i was crying begging, and begging him to stop and i didnt want to b/c im still a virgin. The next thing i know i could feel this really nasty pain it made me moan alittle i knew it wasnt his finger....it felt to big to be his finger...and thats when i knew i was no longer a virgin...i cant remember how but i managed to push him off me....after that i put my clothes on and went..he tried to chase me down the road but i just keep running and so did my friend....i dont know i posted this, i think i just need some comfort and support....
i havent told anybody expect u guys and a friend which i know is stupid cos ...man, i feel like a ****, easy...i keep crying b/c he really hurt me, wouldnt listen to me and took my virginity...it hurts really bad everytime i walk....he told me he really cared about me and would he never hurt me...i wanted to save myself for someone special.. ...i'll never trust another guy again..
oh i have afew questions
1, the little crack by my virgina keeps bleeding why is that? will it stop bleeding?
2, is there a chance that im pregnant, he didnt use a condom, and obviously i dont take the pill b/c im not sexually active? im going to the clinic on monday or is that to late? ...this happened saturday night (saturday evening in american time) by the way
thanks for reading i hope someone replies
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~*ººBaBi FaCeºº*~
~*"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."*~
[This message has been edited by xKaShyLahx (edited 10-06-2002).]
Wow sweetie,
I am so sorry this has happened to you. Don't think for one second that this is your fault or that all guys are like this. I have had this happen to me quite a few times. I had a really screwed up childhood. I know you pain. First of all you are still a virgin. Noone can steal that from you. Sexually you are not but mentally you are. Second the bleeding should stop in a few days. When you go to the clinic talk to the doctor and see what he says. Third there is always a chance of pregnany when unprotected sex is involved. Just go in on monday and find out what is going on with your vagina. Your doctor will tell you everything you need to know. Please for you sake stay out of those situations. Don't be alone with a guy who seems a little to attached or interested in you. be safe. Carry mase or something to protect yourself. No weapons. Just something to spray or scare him with. I hope this helps honey. Get to a counselor they will help you sort this out. Much love
__________________
Life may grab you by the horns if you don't grab it first!
First off, none of this was your fault. Please don't be so hard on yourself.
I also don't think you should wait until Monday to go to this clinic. I suggest that you get straight to the hospital to be checked out. They'll check for any STD' and pregnancy as well as set up some counselling for you. Counselling will be a very important part of your recovery.
If you can bring yourself to do it, I strongly suggest getting to the police and reporting this guy. I realize reporting him may seem scary but what he did to you is wrong, illegal and he needs to be turned in. He has no right to walk around free to hurt other girls.
As far as your virginity goes, I feel that you can still consider yourself a virgin. In my personal opinion giving yourself consenually to somebody you love and care about is losing one's virginity.
Please take care sweetie and keep in touch. We're all here for you.
As a male I just want to add my sympathy and say also that this was not your fault. This guy raped you when you said no and there is no excuse for that. Not all men are *******s but there are a hell of a lot of *******s out there. I'm so sorry you have been hurt by this guy. Get youself checked out at a clinic as soon as you can. You do need some counselling too. You are certainly not a **** or easy as you said you feel. You said no and he ignored you. He's the one to blame not you. You did nothing wrong at all.
I know you have now read this 3 times, go to the Dr as soon as possible. If necessary, go to a Hospital ER. They have the means to preserve any & all evidence of this guy raping you. Yes, get the Police involved.
Guys have to learn that NO MEANS NO, PERIOD!!!!
I'm a male in my 40's. I was raped by a Husband/Wife couple when I was 13. I was too scared by their threats to report every thing they did to me. I only told the Police that they wanted me to have sex with them. They got off with a "WARNING", that's it.
Wow....i'm really sorry to hear this ;( I say turn that phucker in to the police. He deserves to go to jail and get *** raped that POS. If i personally knew anyone that got raped by i guy, i would probably kill him. Rape is serious and it lights an inner fire in me when i hear about it.
Oh God, Kashylah, I'm so sorry this has happened to you. I know you've heard that over and over again, but I truly am so very sorry. I see you as a good friend, and to think that someone did this to you pisses me the hell off. Do NOT blame yourself for this - this is the first thing girls go to thinking - that it is their fault they got raped. It's not. You need to tell your parents. I know if I was raped that'd be the first thing I'd do. Next, you and your parents, together, can go to a clinic and check things out, make sure you're alright, etc. Then, you need to call the police and talk to them. Just because you all are teenagers does NOT mean he shouldn't get punished for what he's done. He raped you, no matter how long he was inside of you or no matter what happened beforehand. I know you feel used and torn, but you can know inside, that even though you are technically no longer a virgin, you will always be a virgin emotionally, since you felt nothing for this *******. One day you will find a guy who will treat you right, and only have sex with you when YOU are ready. Don't ever think that this is all you deserve, because it's not. I hope this helps, and I am so very sorry, Kashy, and remember we will always be here for you and we are all praying for you and thinking of you. Lots of love to you, sweetheart, and please let us know how things go for you. Come here any time you need some help or support. I'll always be here.
hi guys!
Thank you all sooo much for your kinda words, advice and support. You dont know how much it means to me. Yes, i have told my mom actually she found out there was blood everywhere. The clinic's weren't open today so first thing tomorrow morning im going with my mom to the clinic (that's a whole day off college )Im so confused im in two minds half of me wants to tell the police and the other, i just wanna forget about it and get on with my life...
what really hurts me is that he wouldnt stop i was litterally in tears begging him to STOP but he just kept saying 'SHUT UP' it brings me to tears everytime i think about it...i wish this was just a bad dream, something or anything just to make the pain go away...
im scared i might be pregnant or have caught some STD or something please guys pray for me!!
thank you once again everyone for ur kind words ...i love ya!. I will keep you posted about tomorrow!!
*Kashy*
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~*ººBaBi FaCeºº*~
~*"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."*~
we always hear about things like this, and in health class we read fiction on this kind of thing. but never have i read something that was true, or something that made me feel this way. i read your post and now i'm just crying on and off. i am *so sorry* this has happened to you. i wish i could tell you that it *was* only a nightmare, and that it will all go away. eventually you'll feel all right again, and i hope that time comes soon. you did nothing to deserve all this pain. and please, please, as the others have said, tell the police. you can still get on with your life if you do, you might have to deal with extra crap but you'll be glad you did. this guy doesn't deserve his own penis, let alone deserve to go around using it to hurt more girls, or even to get away with what he did to you. anyway, i wish you the best. we're here for you.
You should not have waited for a clinic to be open. When something like this happens you should head to the nearest emergency room to get things checked out. None of this was your fault as everyone has told you. I am merely posting the fact about going to the emergency room right away for any other posters who should read this and ever find themselves in your postion. See a doc as soon as possible and be sure to report this because you don't want this guy doing it to any more women.
hi kashy... sry it took so long for me to reply. i dont really have much to say, except basically what everyone else has said. im really sorry that happened to u. i can only imagine how much it would suck to have that happen. . i agree, report him to the police. sorry i dont have much of anything else to say . i havent been good w/my emotions lately, so im kind out not w/it right now... nor have i been for awhile. ok, well thats all. *gives u a big hug*
feel better Cazzy
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Say hello to John Patrick. He was born on Friday, September 13, 2002. He weighed 8 lbs 9 oz. He is my second cousin heehee and my grandparents first great-grandchild :-D.
hey girl i am so sorry to hear what happened to you.
I have also been raped, by my next door neighbor and his brother, last May. I hate it because i have to see one of them almost every day.
Well, a month later i found out i was pregnant. And im not even sure if the baby is my boyfriends or not. I really hope he is his. The dates are match my boyfriend and the time i was raped.
thats a different story, but i just wanted to say sorry. I know how u feel. BTW, how old are you/
To Prettyeyze: If you were raped you need to report this so he doesn't do it again. You cannot allow this to go on and happen to other women. Also you need to be honest with your boyfriend if you haven't been and let him know that this baby may not be his. If you are still at home and a minor talk to your parents and then get this reported to the police so this rapist can be stopped. Good Luck.
I am praying for you right now. I'm also praying that this SOB is punished to the fullest extent of the law. Chances are you're not his first victim and won't be his last if he's not stopped. I urge you to go to the police.
hey guys!
sorry i took long to reply i been really busy with college and basically this whole thing. I just needed time to think. Anyway, i guess you guys want to know whats happening? right? well on Monday i went to the clinic they were really supportive offered me counselling and gave me the E.C pill (emergency contriception)...
yesterday after some hard thinking i decided to go to the police so far nothing much is going to happening its up to me if i want to take matters further but im very scared...i told the police what happen, they then explain the proceedure there's a 50/50 chance he can get away with it BUT...theres also enough evidence (clothes, DNA samples etc..) so this might not happen. If i do go through with it i'll have to explain everything again another 4 times and make a statement...then they'll interview him and take it from there..
im telling you guys yesterday was very scary i was at the police station for like 5 hours, after they writ everything down. I had to show them where it happened (where he lived) and i had to be examined by a special police doctor for DNA samples (man that HURT and it was extremely uncomfortable but it had to be done)...
im really scared i dont mean to sound harsh but to all those people who are telling to take proper action ...please put yourself in my shoes..im scared for my life, just remember theres a 50/50 chance he might get way with his. OK yes this is a serious crime and if i do decide to take action and take it to the courts, remember he might get away with it, and what happens to me??? EXACTLY nothing...i mean if he trys to get in contact with me he'll be thrown in prison BUT....that doesnt change the way i feel ...im scared for my LIFE and i only have afew more days to decide if im going to take matters further...<sigh> i pity myself!!
but thanks once again to everyone for you support i needed it!!
*Kashy*
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~*ººBaBi FaCeºº*~
~*"Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow."*~
KaShyLax, I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you.
I think that you misunderstand the other posters intentions. Of course, you are scared and freaked out. Anyone would be. And you do have choices.
Choices are, you can retreat, deal with this yourself, and let him suffer no reprecussions. Or you can refuse to be a victim, press charges, and make sure that there isn't anyone else that he can do this to.
You, most likely are not the first person that he's done this to. What if a previous girl had pressed charges? Then you wouldn't be going through what you going through right now.
It's hard, and I think, speaking for alot of the women here, that you aren't the only one around who has been raped. Unfortunately, alot of us have. And we aren't critisizing you, telling you that you are wrong or bad, for handling things the way you are.
No one is going to tell you that it's easy to deal with what you are dealing with.
Hopefully you can find it in you, to prevent this from happening to someone else, and press charges. You very well could be saving other girls from going through what you are. And by not, you are sending him a message that this is behavior that can be repeated without any punishment, and he will.
Instead of feeling hurt, try getting angry. He SHOULD be punished. And yeah, it's scary, but is it scarier than what he did to you? Should he be allowed to do this to someone else? You have the power to stop this from happening, I just hope that you realise it while you still have a chance to make a difference.
And really, ALOT of women have been where you are, and I'm sure that some of them are here on this board. So, you aren't alone. And everyone, I'm sure, is very saddened that this would happen, and is trying to get you to look at the big picture.
Try to find it within yourself. THis happened to you, but you don't have to be a victim of it.
I just want to say we're there for you whatever you decide. I'd like to see this guy stopped and even if he gets off he'll get a hell of a fright. It might frighten him enough so that he never tries it again. However if you decide not to go ahead we will also understand. You and your recovery are what I am most concerned about. Have you been to the counsellor yet? Why don't you discuss your options with her before the deadline to press charges. Then you will have the benefit of an experienced impartial opinion before you make your decision. She will have counselled girls who pressed charges and some who did not and will be able to tell you the plusses and minuses of both courses of action. I really feel for you and hope you are getting the support you need at this difficult time. I'm so glad you told your mum. At least you are not alone like before. Hang in there,
Geoff
My husband is a Detective with our city police force and he deals with violent crimes. He's been specially trained to take statements from rape victims.
Around 5am Sunday morning he got called into work. A 16 year old girl had been raped by 2 grown men at a nite club. My husband has met with her twice now and she's going to be pressing charges. At first she didn't want to so my husband asked her this: "If this had happened to your sister what would you want her to do?" This girl has a 14 year old sister and without even hesitating she said, "I'd want her to press charges."
I know its scary to think about but you defiantely won't be going through this alone. You'll have the support of your family, friends, the police and of course all of us here on the boards. Like Siobhan said, get angry! Refuse to let this guy just walk away free to hurt another girl. He deserves to be arrested and hauled down to the police station to answer for what he's done.
He raped me! 
...i'll never trust another guy again..
Cazzy
