HealthBoards

HealthBoards (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/)
-   Rape / Sexual Abuse (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/rape-sexual-abuse/)
-   -   sleep trauma after my assault (http://www.healthboards.com/boards/rape-sexual-abuse/918710-sleep-trauma-after-my-assault.html)

get over it 09-16-2012 02:49 PM

sleep trauma after my assault
 
In February, I was raped by someone I knew and trusted, someone who had met my family and had dinner in my house. He asked me over, I liked him- he was 5 years older (I am 17). There were three of his friends there. He started to tell me that I was a **** for going there. One of his friends held me down by my shoulders, the other two stood at the end of the bed and one of them was holding a video camera. He started to rape me, telling me I was disgusting and a ***** and they threatened to put the video on the internet. I just lay there, allowing him to spit on me and scream at me. It hurt me alot and I bled alot.
They all left the room and I just lay there naked. I guess one of them felt sorry for me, cause he came in, and dressed me and drove me to my house.
I seemed to get over it pretty quickly, nobody had any idea, I didn't even tell my boyfriend.
But in the last three months or so I have been having flashbacks while I sleep. Whenever I have shared a bed with my boyfriend he says that I thrash about, whimper, and I often shout 'stop' and 'no'.
Although I don't remember speaking at all, I can remember the dreams very well. Sometimes all four of them are there, but the ones that are worse seem to be just me and him.
I can't be woken up when I am having these dreams, it's like I am locked in a sleep paralysis or something. Other than these dreams I don't seem to be affected, I have a healthy sex life with my long term boyfriend and am pretty much the same girl as I was before.
My only giveaway are these dreams. How can I make them stop so I can get over this and move on?
Thank you

Phoenix 12-07-2012 12:20 AM

Re: sleep trauma after my assault
 
Hello get over it and welcome.

Depraved sociopathic individuals commit actions of this nature and i'm sorry that you were victimized in such a fashion.

Hidden in our dreams,is the subconscious; created from both our past and present experiences.There may be other signs but you may be too close to the situation to see the whole picture.

Moving on is a process.Please realize that.
What has taken time to make its' ways into your dreams,can be best discussed with a qualified therapist.

With respectful intent
Phoenix

yrsofpainsucks 12-15-2012 07:44 PM

Re: sleep trauma after my assault
 
First I want to tell you that I am so sorry that this happened to you. This was a disgusting person that deserves to be in jail. I wish you were here for me to hug. I was raped by someone I trusted and it caused me PTSD. I told no one for months. I had horrible vivid dreams about the assult. I wont go into the entire thing but I was forced to tell. I was so mad back then but now I see it was the first step into my healing. I cannot tell you what to do but I do suggest you tell someone. I know that you are embarassed, confused, mad, humiliated etc. But he will do this to someone else if he isnt stopped. The person that did this act to me had done it to 2 girls before and one after, each time more violent.

Now for your healing which is easier said than done. First as I said going to authorities. I would reccomend seeking the help of a qualified professional and maybe support groups. I am a very private person when it comes to my deep feelings and wouldnt get help for the longest time. It slowly ate away at the person I was and I hated life. It took years away from my life that it shouldnt have. after I finally got help to process this and heal I finally began to enjoy life again. I do not use the words get over it. You dont. You learn the skills on how to cope, process and get past this.

You are not alone in this. you did not ask for this and it isnt your fault. This guy is a disgusting person and I am soo sorry.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 12:43 AM.