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Rape / Sexual Abuse Message Board
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Old 04-14-2012, 11:37 PM   #1
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: tallahassee, fl, USA
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nole4life HB User
Just need to vent

Hello, this is my first time posting on here also.

I think I just need to vent. Okay, so I got diagnosed with cancer on October 12, 2010. I got done with treatment on exactly October 12, 2011. However, that was the absolute worst year of my life for more reasons than my health.

Some quick background information. I got diagnosed with lung cancer, which I got from secondhand smoke (dad used to smoke 3-4 packs a day when we were little). I was not allowed to have chemo because I have naturally low blood pressure so at the time of diagnosis my chances of survival were less than 8%. I was in stage for before my surgery in late June. I actually had a lung transplant. I was never supposed to see my 21st birthday, but God is good.

Okay, so things that happened during that entire year of treatment...I got dumped by my first love (heartbreak is awful), my grandpa passed away the day I went into my 2nd coma, and I got stabbed and very brutally raped by this man who had been stalking me. I'd had a run-in with him before that was unsuccessful, but he found me again during treatment.

Both encounters with him ended with him in worse physical condition than me. My first instinct is to fight. I grew up fighting so it's in my blood. That's why the rape hurt so bad. I felt everything. He'd kicked me in my back (where a lot of my cancer was at the time) so I was unable to move for a while. My body and mind was still in fight mode, though. I remember it all distinctly.

Lately, I've been having the worst nightmares. I mean, they're absolutely horrific. I wake up screaming and crying and in a cold sweat. I don't know what to do other than pray. Any other advice would be great please. I'm a senior in college and finals are coming up and I'm trying to graduate. I really need my sleep. Thanks in advance!

 
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