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Old 12-20-2012, 09:51 PM   #1
Syo Syo is offline
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Exclamation Cant experience pleassure

I cant find pleasure in anything. I cant arouse my self or be aroused even though I desperately want to. I know that most of this is due to my depression issue but I dont know how to get over it. Im on anti depressants but its not doing any thing and Iv tried many different kinds. I cant masturbate, its driving me nuts. Im 21 and just want to experience an orgasm. Im worried that this is all mental issues and that ill never be able to change.
I was molested and very possibly raped when I was 5 by my baby sitter. I dont remember all of it and im not sure I want to. I dont trust men. Iv lived 16 years locked in my room. I only leave if absolutely necessary (like school or work). Iv spent 99% of my life locked in my room and didnt even notice in tell just recently. I have never dated or been in a relationship. I dont want to be alone anymore. I know im not the only person whos been hurt this way. So please please help me. I feel so alone and incapable of doing anything.

Last edited by Syo; 12-21-2012 at 02:29 PM.

 
The following 2 users give hugs of support to: Syo
aowshea (12-26-2012), Phoenix (12-21-2012)
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Old 12-22-2012, 05:17 AM   #2
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Re: Cant experience pleassure

Hello Syo and welcome.

Firstly, i'm sorry that you were taken advantage of in this fashion.
The lingering effects of sexual abuse on the psyche can become quite overwhelming.Depressive isolation is but one possible symptom.
Your lack of trust in men is understandable.Please know that we aren't all unworthy of trust.There still are some good ones out there.

Your body's fighting against specific desires could be attributed to the antidepressants being prescribed.

I would address these concerns to the prescribing physician at your earliest convenience.

The key to quality relationships is viewing them as friendships first,while trying not to place multitudes of expectations on others.When we set the bar too high,it tends to sabotage the bonding experience.
Things should progress naturally and never appear rushed,as feelings are to be considered.

Might I suggest going outside of your comfort zone?
One day,head to the library,local park,museum or theater.
On your way there,take time to stop and smell the roses,so to speak.Try to take in and appreciate the visual cues at your disposal.

I pray that one day you will be able to state with confidence:"rain or shine,today is fine." It can apply to so many aspects of one's life.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Old 12-23-2012, 07:42 PM   #3
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Re: Cant experience pleassure

Thank you Phoenix.

I have been trying to step outside more often. I'm still scared but I am getting better in that department. I know that all men arnt sick and twisted like the man that hurt me. But its hard to beat this subconscious fear. There is a guy that is very special to me and has been part of my life for a very long time. We ended up hooking up one night and I was so happy but then we tired to have sex. Now all these memories are coming back and I don't know if I can handle it.Whats worse is that Iv never told him or anyone in my family about what happened until just recently. I finally broke down and told my aunt. I don't think ill ever be able to get over this until I confess what happened to my family. I want to tell him (the guy I like) but I'm worried that he'll be mad or turn away from me. But at the same time I feel guilty for never telling him. I'm sorry if this doesn't make much seance. I'm just very confused right now. I have made an appointment with a therapist on the 2nd. Right now I'm just trying to hold my self together until then.

Thank you for listening. I do feel a lot better now that Iv gotten some of this pent up guilt and frustration off my chest. I just hope that I can change. Should I tell the guy I like what happened? I'm worried that if I don't explain my self that he'll give up on me.

 
Old 12-24-2012, 07:40 AM   #4
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Re: Cant experience pleassure

You're welcome Syo.

Since you've known this person for quite a while,I see no harm in telling him.Worse case scenario,he doesn't take the info well and distances himself.
If this is the case,i'd have to question whether or not he really was a quality friendship after all.

Good news: the 2nd of the new year.
May things begin looking up for you and your symptoms lessen.
Please know that change is always possible,once you truly believe it is.

Respectfully
Phoenix
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Last edited by Phoenix; 12-24-2012 at 07:44 AM.

 
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abused, depression anxiety stress sadness dread, female climax



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