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UmFromUmbridge · 12-27-2012, 10:35 PM

I am a teen female and never liked to kiss my dads lips. It's isn't a full out make out session but just a really long pucker up and get your face smushed thing. I turn my head so he gets the memo to kiss my check but then he gets really mad at me. I turn to leave and I'm yelled at until I come back. He then says "what the hell is wrong with you?!?" And is ticked off for the rest of the day. My mom and sister are then mad at me too because I can't suck it up. My dad doesn't kiss my sister on the mouth though! He will grab me by my arms and kiss me really hard and won't let me leave! Then sometimes he will kiss my neck and my shoulder which makes me really uncomfy. When I was eleven and twelve he used to make me lay down in his bed with him until he fell asleep and it always made me feel weird. I hated it but didn't want to get yelled At and was always hesitant getting into his bed and trying to get out as quickly as possible. I really don't want to bring this up to the cops or a hotline since it was a few years ago but I remember being young and him being asleep on top of me and I just wanted to get away. I don't know if this is just a delusional I use as an excuse to hate my dad though. Help me please.

Seraph · 12-28-2012, 06:51 AM

This certainly sounds like very inappropriate behaviour. Is there someone you can confide in, like a counsellor at your school? It must be really hard to have your mother and sister throw you under the bus here so your dad won't get mad. That is really unfair! Go on sticking up for yourself and don't let his childish sulking worry you too much if you can stand it. What he is doing is still abuse because he knows it is wrong and that you object to it. A hotline is a good idea, the people on there are very knowledgable and supportive, and an help you to deal with it. I hope you are OK, it is a horrible position to be in. Sera

natski · 12-29-2012, 06:27 AM

I know what it's like to question past events and to try to categorise them. I have similar feelings towards an uncle over 'spanking' sessions when I was a kid. Your dad's behaviour does sound questionable to me but I think the key is that you felt uncomfortable and your feelings about the situation weren't being heard or respected. I get the sense that you feel violated. I am by no means an expert but your reaction sounds justified to me and your sister/mother have issues of their own. If this stuff is still going on or you think your father may be doing it to someone else that I really think you should ring a hotline and ask for help. If you feel like you are no longer in danger then I would still recommend talking to a councillor or psychologist to help you process the feelings you have about it. I guess it doesn't really matter so much about whether kissing on the mouth can be categorised as molestation (i'd trust your instincts though, if it feels wrong then it probably is wrong). The point is that it has affected you.

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