Has your spouse ever needed to “get away”? - Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy Message Board

dietcoke · 08-08-2005, 04:49 PM

Recently, my wife of 23 years told me that getting away from me for one week would be beneficial to her. I agree. My wife is remarkable. She does not complain. She just does her thing and she deals with my mood swings superbly.

Now, we are NOT talking about a legal separation, and we are NOT talking about a divorce. I know I am hard to live with at times, and she just needs a break.

I hope I can ask the following questions:

Has your spouse ever needed to “get away”?

If so, did he/she actually "get away"?

If so, did it help her/him?

Budko · 08-08-2005, 07:21 PM

Hello,

My Husband of 7 years, NEEDS to get away. I send him Golfing with his friends at least once a Month and on Business Trips, if he goes to Vegas for Example, I tell him to stay one more day and send him with extra cash. I think it is very Healthy for your wife to be honest with you and say what she needs.
Be very supported and send her with something special (like a card or a simple note, if you can make to the store, A single Red Rose to represent your Love & Unity as Husband and Wife) to let her know that you love her and care. If you have kids, I can only imagine how badly she needs a break.

Hell, we RSD'ers need a break from ourselves. Oh! and one more thing. Don't tell her know how much pain you are in on the day she leaves. Fake it! I know you Men are good at faking, oh wait that is women :O) I find my Hubby has a better time when I fake it, and hey he can't stop the pain any way so why make him worry?

Good Luck,
Kim

Budko · 08-19-2005, 11:16 AM

Hello DietCoke,

How was your wife's trip? How did the card work? Did my advice help? How are you feeling? I don't see you post much, so let me know how you are doing. Only if you wish or you can ignore me like the rest do :O)

Kim

brighteyes_007 · 08-22-2005, 09:59 PM

Hello,

It is more that I need to get away from my family then my husband needs to get away from me.

I go nuts in this house so every so often when I get really irritable and hard to live with I go to the Farm ---- my parents place for a week. There are open fields and my dad raises fox dogs, and he has birds of all kinds around becuase he throws seeds every day.

My parents are happy to have me and if I need to just lay around is fine and if I just go outside to sit on the swing or ride with them to town all is well.

I think that my whole family is better for it.

Take care,
brighteyes

dietcoke · 08-25-2005, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Budko

Hello DietCoke,

How was your wife's trip? How did the card work? Did my advice help? How are you feeling? I don't see you post much, so let me know how you are doing. Only if you wish or you can ignore me like the rest do :O)

Kim

Kim,

I have not posted lately because I have had a very difficult August.

My wife is going to visit her mother this weekend. They will have a good weekend.

Actually, her telling me that she “needed to get away” helped our marriage. Since she told me that, I have “vented” to her a couple of times, and she listened. She did not say things like, “Oh, you don’t really fell that way…” She was not judgmental. She just listened.

I guess I cannot explain how it helped.

Thank you for your concern.